It's like clockwork. As each and every night out rolls around, you swear it'll be filled with excitement, rather than the regular routine of dinner and a movie. But alas, creature of habit, when your head hits the pillow, you've somehow wasted your evening filling your face with the usual comfort food, watching cinematic dreck, or downing overpriced drinks at the same danceterias.
Cheer up, cubicle drones, and resolve to give your nightlife a fix in 2006. It's really not so hard to live la vida loca and report to work in the morning with a smile.
For instance, aren't the usual beef, chicken, and fish options wearing a bit thin? Be a gutsy gourmand with something more outrageous -- such as, say, alligator. Those creative Creole cooks at VooDoo Daddy's Magic Kitchen in Tempe and Phoenix serve up the repulsive reptile's meaty tail in delicious breaded bits ($7.29) or as a smoky sausage, sautéed in spicy tomato sauce and served over rice for their Louisiana Alligator Piquante ($13.99). They've also got deep-fried frogs' legs if you'd rather begin your culinary epiphany with amphibians instead.
And if you've got the, er, balls to be a connoisseur of courageous cuisine, consider consuming a plateful of calf fries ($10) at the Stockyards Restaurant. Also known as Rocky Mountain oysters or cowboy caviar, the family jewels harvested from unfortunate young calves have been cleaned, breaded, and cooked to a golden brown. Despite the intimidation factor, these tasty testicular treats are juicy and mealy, with a chipotle cocktail sauce for dipping. Also on the menu, wild boar and venison sausages with chutney ($9) make for a surprisingly scrumptious outdoorsy appetizer.
Those who aren't quite so, um, nutty, but who still want to treat their taste buds to something not served at IHOP, can head to a nondescript southeast Phoenix strip mall for the belly-busting Brazilian steak house Fogo e Brasa. Non-vegans from across the Valley gorge here on huge cuts of rump steak, lamb, pork loin, and other cuts of serious meat, brought to the table in endless, all-you-can-eat succession ($29.97 per person).
Nibble a little eye candy at Bacchanal Greek Restaurant in Phoenix or Sinbad Restaurant in Tempe. In addition to luscious Mediterranean and Middle Eastern dishes, respectively, these establishments offer tableside belly dancing, drum circles, and folk music throughout the week.
With dinner done, roust yourself out of the multiplex rut. At F1 Race Factory, motorheads of all ages sate their need for speed by racing gas-powered go-karts on two quarter-mile indoor tracks ($20 for the first race, $18 for the second, $12 for the third, and $75 for unlimited races). Burn more adrenaline at the gigantic climbing wall, arcade and pool hall, and when it's time to head home after drinks at the Factory's "Fueling Station," get someone else to do the real driving.
Trigger finger need a treat? Get locked and loaded at Shooter's World, as this West Valley gun shop and firing range is open nightly for pistol-packing patrons to get a little target practice. Friday evenings are ladies' nights; the fairer sex gets free access to the firing range, as well as free eye and ear protection, instruction, and firearm rentals from 4 to 8 p.m. (Regular charges are $13 for the firing range, $7 for gun rental, $1 for eye and ear protection, and targets are $1.)
Getting into a firefight isn't the only kind of flammable fun. A poi is a flaming ball atop a rod, and the poi-wielders of local dance troupe Domba graciously teach the fine art of fire-dancing in their small Tempe studio to anyone who isn't made of paper or ice. Every Thursday evening at 6, members instruct students on such techniques as how to "flow through movement while manipulating chains with orbs of fire," as they put it. Sounds hot. The studio also offers workshops in Bollywood dancing and belly dancing throughout the week. Classes are $15 each, $70 for five, or a bargain package of 10 for $130.
Instead of boring old shots of Patrón or Jack Daniel's at your nearby tavern, try downing a glass of food coloring or popcorn butter as a part of "The Wheel of Fear Factor" at Giligin's in Scottsdale. Wednesday nights feature a blend of both game shows as competitors spin a wheel and attempt to solve nasty-word puzzles while trying to avoid spaces on the dial that would require them to complete such stomach-turning tasks as gulping shots of fish oil or consuming mayonnaise cupcakes. The grand prize? A keg or case of beer. (Hope it washes away the aftertaste.)
If you insist on a movie, steer clear of that overpriced blockbuster and opt for No Festival Required. Every month, Valley artist Steve Weiss presents an anthology of indie flicks, videos, and short films -- comedy, drama, animation, and more, in assorted themes -- from auteurs local and international. Admission is usually a paltry $5 to $6.
So drop that Whopper. It's 2006, and your nights are for sitars and fish oil now. Eat it
Bacchanal Greek Restaurant
3015 East Thomas Road, Phoenix
Tuesdays through Thursdays, food served from 5 to 9 p.m., with entertainment until 11 p.m.; Fridays and Saturdays, food served from 5 to 11 p.m., with entertainment until 1:30 a.m.