Judging Andy

With leaders like Andrew Thomas, Joe Arpaio and Bishop Olmsted around, who says Arizona's a cruel place to live?!

When it heard that he was already announcing, this avian concluded that Joe's so tough that he'd survive his own detention officers' hooding him and strapping his ass into one of those infamous jailhouse restraint chairs.

He's the ultimate Chuck Norris joke.

When local TV news was screeching that the elderly had better beware of the bird flu, a wag around the New Times office quipped: "Maybe Sheriff Joke will get it, and we'll finally be rid of him."

If you have a monkey on your back, you're out of luck, as well.
If you have a monkey on your back, you're out of luck, as well.

Another chimed in: "Joe Arpaio doesn't get the flu from birds, he gives it to them!"

At the same time he announced for sheriff, he said he'd decided against running for governor, even though he claimed he'd have a great chance of winning.

The Bird didn't say he wasn't senile. But Alzheimer's or not, it appears that no amount of malfeasance uncovered by the likes of New Times will be enough to do Joe in politically as sheriff.

Unless Joe gets brain-addled in his car again ("Enemies List," John Dougherty, April 28, 2005) and this time drives it over the sidewalk and through the shrubbery and over a boulder and into oncoming traffic, we're probably stuck with the sadistic geezer for another 20 years.

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