Go On, Just Shoot 'Em

Crazy? Well, the squawks about The Bird's alleged homophobia came after it opined last week that Phoenix's annual gay and lesbian pride event wasn't so prideful after all, since its name didn't include the words "gay and lesbian." And because the event, unlike similar ones all over the country, took place in April instead of June, when it's meant to commemorate the actual June 1969 launch of the gay-rights movement.

"You are obviously gay yourself," wrote one unidentified griper via the Internet, "and you're a hypocrite to cast stones at other gays."

It's satire. Yeah.

Martha Strachan

Bubba's nightmare: Throngs of Latinos were registering to vote in conjunction with the big protest rally, which demonstrates that many in the massive crowd weren't illegal aliens.

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Yet when The Bird replied with a request for the author's name, the angry sodomite shot back, "I don't intend to give you my name for exploitation. What I do in my bedroom is my business."

Uh-huh, and The Bird's a hypocrite? Got it.

Another sniffy queen (he wouldn't sign his name, either) wanted to know why The Bird poked fun at fairies, but then didn't attend the Phoenix "pride" event.

Here's your answer, Bruce: Gays need to find other ways to express gayness than making fools of themselves in public. Hello, this pissy parakeet would rather choke on its own vomit than march down a public street in the company of homosexual stereotypes -- only to wind up at parade's end watching grown men in dresses and evening gowns lip-synch to old Dolly Parton tunes in a crowded park.