¡Viva la Revolución!

A rogues' gallery of rock 'n' rollers reflects upon the USA's big day

Independence Day is here again. Turns out we've been free for almost 230 years, which is a pretty kick-ass record when you think about it. So what is it that makes America . . . you know . . . America? Well, the best way to solve that mystery is to ask a rock star.

So what makes America great?
"We're the prototype society, the one that everybody loves to criticize, but everyone wants to come to. Plus, there's a 7-Eleven and a Starbucks on every corner." — Alice Cooper

"If you can't say it in public, you can always voice your opinion on a bathroom wall in the East Village like everybody else does." — Gavin DeGraw

"MySpace.com." — Kristen Henderson, Antigone Rising

"Interviews like this one." — Nate Bott, Big City Rock

Best song to celebrate America's ass-kicking greatness?
"'American Girl,' by Tom Petty. It gets you really revved up. And girls are good, too." — Patrick Carrie, Limbeck

"Springsteen's 'Born in the USA,' 'cause it's BRUCE." — Kristen Henderson, Antigone Rising

"'I Love America,' by me." — Alice Cooper

"'We're Not Gonna Take It.' The message isn't in the lyrics, but in the frizzy hair and bad dye job." — Gavin DeGraw

Best American beer?
"Pabst. It won a blue ribbon. What other beer can say that?" — Patrick Carrie, Limbeck

"Leinenkugel's Honey Weiss is the best American beer out there! Like Budweiser, it goes well with hot dogs OR pasta OR a steak . . . and it does wonders for a dessert, too!" — Nick Wheeler, All-American Rejects

"Budweiser . . . 'cause it tastes delicious to be drunk. That didn't make any sense." — Matt McGinley, Gym Class Heroes

"Miller Lite, because it's the rockers' choice." — Nate Bott, Big City Rock

Stupidest thing you've ever done with fireworks?
"I lit a firecracker up my butt." — Nate Bott, Big City Rock

"Put a shotgun shell in a pipe, and a ball bearing in the other end of the pipe, had two friends holding it, put a nail to it and hammered away. When you're 12 years old, it seems like a good idea." — Alice Cooper

"Shot them at people bigger than me." — Brian Venable, Lucero

Why do so many other countries hate America?
"Because they love our stuff. We have swimming pools, showers, air conditioning, ice in our drinks, butter in our popcorn. If I couldn't have that, I'd hate the people who did." — Alice Cooper

"We have enormous appetites. Most people eat food. We eat countries." — Brandon Reilly, Nightmare of You

"We're lazy and wasteful. America might be the only place where you can get a 72-ounce soda and free refills on French fries." — Patrick Carrie, Limbeck

Greatest protest song ever?
"Eve of Destruction," Barry McGuire — Alice Cooper

"Murder the Government," NOFX — Matt McGinley, Gym Class Heroes

"Something's Got to Give," Beastie Boys — Nate Bott, Big City Rock

"With God On Our Side," Bob Dylan — Brandon Reilly, Nightmare of You

What makes you proud to be an American?
"Coney Island hot dogs and all-you-can-eat buffets." — Matt McGinley, Gym Class Heroes

"The new Times Square." — Kristen Henderson, Antigone Rising

"Gas prices." — Nate Bott, Big City Rock

"Roe v. Wade." — Brian Venable, Lucero

When were you most ashamed to be an American?
"When Dennis Miller went all right-wing." — Nate Bott, Big City Rock

Best firework and why?
"The Texas Cyclone. Best five bucks I ever spent." — Nate Bott, Big City Rock

"Roman candles. They're interactive." — Patrick Carrie, Limbeck

 
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