Molehill Mountain

Our pervy pelican asks: Where's our sense of humor gone when it comes to office e-mails?

"It's like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas," explained JJ. "So if you're out in public and you see someone you've met through the group that you don't know very well, it's best not to talk about anything from the group."

JJ described TNG's bylaws, which sound as detailed as Robert's Rules of Order. Members, of which there are 80 to 100, pay annual dues of $10 and get membership cards. You have to attend one of the public, low-key coffee klatsches before you're allowed to any of the private parties where all the fun stuff happens. You're allowed to touch another member by consent only. And at age 36, you're "aged out" of the group, like the characters in that old sci-fi film Logan's Run, so that the 18-year-old newbie doesn't have to worry about getting it on with some decrepit geezer who resembles Elton John.

Interesting concept. Still, it'd make more sense to The Bird to exclude fatties and fuglies, regardless of age, though maybe that would cut into TNG's membership too severely for it to survive.

"I have no idea how this works, but if you look at the image for about 5 minutes, you can see a waterfall in the background."
photo evidence courtesy of Mesa City AttorneyÕ
"I have no idea how this works, but if you look at the image for about 5 minutes, you can see a waterfall in the background."
Coochie coochie this.
photo evidence courtesy of Mesa City Attorney's Of
Coochie coochie this.

Not that The Bird gives a gecko's ass one way or the other, but it does find it amusing that an organization devoted to living out outré sexual fantasies would run itself like a high-school student council, albeit one with whips, paddles and enemas. JJ says all this structure is meant to ensure a safe environment for TNG's members, so maybe there's some logic to it.

Palmer's since indicated that he'll be starting a rival organization. And JJ acted pretty philosophically about the ruckus. Maybe 'cause JJ's 35, and only has one more year before the Logan's Run rule ejects him from the tribe.

"I think it's great," says JJ of the potential for a new Palmer org. "There's plenty of room for plurality. I don't call it competition, I call it plurality."

Now fans of high colonics and S&M will have even more options! As long as they're 36 and under, of course.

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