Reality Check

Let's get this straight: Lots of voters think Janet Napolitano's a closeted lesbian, but she's against Prop 107 and gay marriage?!

McNeil/Macurak, formerly a radio and television personality, said it's common in the broadcast world to assume a fake name. And truly, Marty McNeil flows more trippingly from the beak than Macurak, which is reminiscent of the sound that comes from The Bird's throat after a long night guzzling fermented fruit.

But what the eff, this ain't the local weather report, and you ain't no Royal Norman, hon. Get a grip, you're a frickin' public servant! If you didn't want the job as the flack to P-town's biggest pain in the patootie, you shouldn't have taken it.

"I hope you're not planning to write something about this," pleaded the PR gal. Duh, Marty, how could you think that?

McNeil/Macurak's boss, Metro Light Rail CEO Rick Simonetta, has no problem with Marty's name change. For Simonetta, it's all about how she does her job.

"I thought it was her decision," Simonetta shrugged. "I don't have a problem with it."

Wake up and smell the asphalt, Ricky! Phoenicians hate light-rail construction so much that, with an attitude like that, you may soon be asked to approve expense reports for identity-concealing plastic surgery makeovers for employees.

After this item's printed, The Bird just hopes McNeil/Macurak doesn't try to enter the federal Witness Protection Program.

Dive into The PHX, Phoenix New Times' leap into the blogosphere, including Stephen Lemons' Feathered Bastard.

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