Alligator Rap

Hippin' and hoppin' in the rain

It's not surprising that all of the mannequins at Castle Megastore have hugeboobs, complete with perky pink nipples. But as I'm lifting a G-string to see just how anatomically correct these mannequins are, I hear CooKie emit a scream of excitement from the vibrator section. "Baby, baby, come look at this alligator!"

Alligator?Sure enough, when I get over there, CooKie's holding a foot-long green vibrator that looks exactly like a baby alligator. In the same aisle, there are vibrators that resemble elephants, bears, beavers, and dolphins. I find all this a little disturbing. Are old-school phallic vibrators so unsatisfying that we must hump dolphins now?

CooKie and I happen upon some Cyberskin vaginas in the next aisle, and proceed to molest them for several minutes, until the music on Castle's sound system catches our ears.

Mike Gorman

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For more information on Topp Notch Records, visit »web link. For more information on Bobkatt, visit »web link.

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I know the holiday season goes until New Year's, but by the day after Christmas, I'm sick of seasonal songs. And these songs weren't just any Christmas songs, but tunes with a religious slant. As I pull hard on the lips of a rubber vagina, I hear a chorus of children singing, "Praise the Lord, Jesus is born."

Disturbed, CooKie and I head back to J-Heads. It's now 12:30, and there are only five vehicles left in the lot. The guy at the door informs us that the performers never showed up, and Bobkatt has just been performing a number here and there while the DJ spins songs. CooKie and I decide not to go back in.

It's too late to hit Blunt Club now, so we head home to play Crocodile Hunterwith my Christmas gift instead.

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