How to Quit MySpace

MySpace. CrySpace.

A place for friends. A place for nauseating self-indulgence.

Whether you love or loathe the online meeting and sharing place, there are sure signs of addiction: Obsessing over the "About Me" statement. Sending butt-hurt e-mails when you aren't on somebody's top friends list. Staying up all night dolling up the profile with glitter text.

If any of these apply, or you're jonesing for an abandoning remedy, you may want to take the advice of Reid Atwater of Chandler.

"The key is to remember that it opens up the door to your past, which normally gets you into trouble," says Atwater, a 27-year-old carpet cleaner and semi-pro baseball player who successfully cut the MySpace umbilical cord a year ago. "I also caught my wife talking to her high school sweetheart [on MySpace], and that obviously didn't make me want to stay on, either."

We also recommend sticking to traditional e-mail to communicate with friends. Or get out of the house. Our backup advice: You could always move somewhere with no Internet access, like Outer Mongolia.

The Roosevelt, 816 North Third Street, is a new neighborhood tavern in the restored 1900 Farish House that serves dinner and more than 45 beers, including the specially crafted Four Peaks Brewery draft dubbed the Roosevelt House Beer. Call 602-254-2561.

The Iowa Cafe and Gift Shop, 5606 East McKellips Road in Mesa, is the last place you'll find Internet access and the best spot in the Valley to purchase John Deere memorabilia before grubbing on down-home country cookin', Midwestern farm style. Call 480-985-2022 or check out www.iowacafe.com.

The Firehouse, the collective art space at 1015 North First Street, opens its doors every Friday and Sunday to the public for artist receptions, repertory film screenings, and, during every last Friday of the month, Cafe Alamut, a coffee and community-gathering event. See www.myspace.com/firehousephoenix (yeah, we know, we're sending you right back to hell . . . ).