Brown Power

Say it loud! You're intact and you're proud!

 I'm a 60-year-old Chicano and proud. Why do young Chicanos keep imitating blacks? They dress like blacks, talk like blacks, listen to black music, and hang with blacks. Aren't they proud of their own culture? Why don't they embrace Hispanic ways and learn about Hispanic history?
Say It Loud! I'm Brown and I'm Proud!

Dear Wab:
Your letter is remarkable porque it simultaneously refutes and validates the fears of gabachos who say Mexicans aren't assimilating into this grand land. As you correctly point out, many Mexican kids in los Estados Unidos embrace African-American culture. No big mystery there — black culture is American youth culture, and even the wabbiest chamaco wants to keep up with his American-born peers. But then there are older pendejos like you who retain Mexico's deep-rooted hatred of Afro-anything and inculcate their children with it. The result is racial animosity — riots at high schools and prisons, gangsters who bump Tupac while bumping off black teens, or mensos like you who find no irony in appropriating James Brown's black-power anthem for a pseudonym. Many Mexican kids do embrace their mother culture, and that's the problem: Instead of seeing blacks and Mexicans as oppressed hermanos, the younger generation of Mexicans simply follows parental cues and bashes blacks. Hey, youngsters: Love this country — love negritos. By the way, Say It Loud, stop using such antiquated terms as "Chicano" and "Hispanic." They're as relevant to the contemporary Mexican-American experience as a daguerreotype.

I had never seen an uncircumcised penis before I saw one on a Mexican guy. I asked why he wasn't circumcised, and he said it just isn't done in Mexico. Oh my God, the sex is so much better! Since being with this man, I've come to see the idiocy of circumcision in general. Why do Mexicans understand that cutting off part of a baby boy's penis is crazy when our much more "civilized" American society thinks it is the best thing?
White Girl in Love With Mexican Cock

Details

Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at garellano@ocweekly.com. Those of you who do submit questions: They will be edited for clarity, cabrónes. And include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or we'll make one up for you!

Dear Gabacha:
Mexicans didn't always leave their newborn boy's pito intact. The 1968 book Medicine in Mexico — From Aztec Herbs to Betatrons says Mexico's indigenous peoples practiced circumcision until the Spaniards arrived, at which point the uncut conquistadors "swiftly stamped out circumcision" in the Americas. "They themselves did not practice it," author Gordon Schendel wrote, "and the Catholic clergy then condemned any attention paid to genitalia as a barbaric and sinful obsession with sex. As a consequence, circumcision is not the custom today in Mexico, or in other Latin American countries." Mexico doesn't keep numbers on the number of wang-whackings performed each year, but the United States does: In the 1997 article "Circumcision in the United States: Prevalence, Prophylactic Effects, and Sexual Practice," Journal of the American Medical Association authors Edward O. Laumann, Christopher M. Masi and Ezra W. Zuckerman concluded that only 54 percent of Latinos in the United States sported a sheared schlong, as opposed to 81 percent of gabachos and 65 percent of negritos. So your Latin lover was partly correct: Mexicans do lop off their love snakes, but not as frequently as gabachos. But chula, your great sex with that uncircumcised Mexican owes less to the penis than to the Mexican attached to it.

ˇASK A MEXICAN! CONTEST!
The Mexican is looking for pictures of the most stereotypical Mexican restaurant logos in the country to include in his upcoming book. If you'd like to see your picture in the libro, e-mail me. The five best pictures will be included, and the winners will receive a free autographed copy of the book along with a lawn mowing of up to 200 square feet.

 
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3 comments
karen
karen

i think being brown is special because brown people are the best be proud of being chicano being brown and so it of other people would want to be us but they just cant

reality check
reality check

to the deeply confused white girl. from another white girl in reality. what the hell is wrong with you first of all. why in the hell are you having sex with mexican anyways. are that ugly you cant get a white guy or just hard up. i mean really. you are confused why men get curcumsized. BECAUSE IT IS PROPER HYGEINE. IDIOT. YOU THINK THAT SHIT IS OK TRY STICKING YOUR HAND DOWN THERE PANTS GRAB IT THEN SMELL YOUR DAMN HAND. YOU WILL THEN REALIZE THE NECESSITY OF THAT BEING DONE. UNLESS YOU LIKE CHEESY DIRTY SOCK SMELL AND STICKY COCK. RING A BELL. YOUR AN IGNORANT IDIOT. THEN YOU POST IT AS A GOOD THING. WHO THE HELL RAISED YOU THE APES. EWE YOU ARE A NASTY ASS WHITE GIRL. TRATOR YOUR MOM AND DAD SHOULD OF RAISED YOU RIGHT AND TOLD YOU TO STICK WITH YOUR OWN KIND. BEING WITH A WETBACK IS NOTHING TO BRAG ABOUT. AND THEY DONT EVEN BELONG HERE. HINT HINT. YOUR A POOR EXCUSE OF A WHITE PERSON YOU DONT EVEN EARN THE RIGHT TO CLAIM WHITE. MOVE TO MEXICO IF FORESKIN IS SO GREAT. HA HA YOUR AN IDIOT. STAY WITH YOUR OWN KIND YOU MIGHT LEARN SOMETHING AND THEY DONT HAVE STINK CROTCH ON THE NATCH. REALITY CHECK AND GREAT ADVICE I JUST GAVE YOU AS IF YOU HAD NO IDEA TAKE IT. YOUR ARE A DISGRACE TO WHITE PEOPLE. EWE. OH YEAH HOW DOES STINKY SLIME TASTE. STUPID. YOU FELL FOR IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOUR ARE HOPELESS AS LONG AS YOU STAY WITH THE MINORITY. GROW UP KEEP OUR RACE ALIVE LAME ASS.

disturbed
disturbed

why is it when you look up mexican penises your page pops up? how am i suppose to make my daughter see how nasty they are if I cant find one to show. or would they actually show it. prob not. anyhow since i keep landing on your page by accident the mix black and mexican race page I had to tell you that is wrong stay with your own kind. it is wrong to mix and have children. dont you realize they get confused ewe. yuk. we do realize you are trying to take over completely by trying to mix races every freakin chance you get but how far does it have to go. ewe stay with your own kind in your own country. why dont you post some real facts about mexicans so we know before you try one of your moves to prey on white women. like not believing in circumcism that is important it would keep you guys in your own race. i mean really explain what disgusting things you have to go through to mix up with you guys. at least. the facts. leave the white women alone its wrong to make our country filthy for one then the bullshit way you infest our country and make it harder to keep our race going because all the girls have to choose from is mexican now or half breeds. you selfish mexicans really piss me off. go home and stay there. please now.

 
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