Sheriff Gangbanger

This sardonic sapsucker scratches out the truth on Sheriff Joe's gang-friendly gulags, an ICE spokesman's DUI stint, and the Arizona Repugnant's reportorial fumbles

A year before Wilson's demise, the Arizona Court of Appeals affirmed jury verdicts in a lawsuit brought by former Tent City inmate Jeremy Flanders. The appeals decision states, "Half Anglo and half Hispanic, Flanders was pressured to join competing jail gangs. Flanders instead chose to be 'by himself.'" As a result, six men attacked Flanders as he slept, bludgeoning him with steel spikes, leaving Flanders in a coma. When he emerged, he'd suffered permanent brain damage. The decision further reads:

"At the time of the attack, no guards were present in the yard or at the tents. No alarm sounded. No guard heard or saw the beating."

Lastly, a former Tent City guard recently contacted The Bird over her disgust with the way Joe's jails are run. She confirmed nearly everything this winged wonder's amigo said about his tent time, including the laziness of her fellow officers who preferred dawdling their days away in the cozy confines of the "control room."

Fred Harper

She told this thrush, "Most of the guards would sit in there where it was nice and safe. You'd have 12 or 13 in there at one time, with only maybe two people out walking the yards.

"It'd break my heart, basically kids going in [Tent City], 19, 20, or 21," the former officer squawked. "They're in there for a DUI or something like that, and they're scared shitless. They don't want to be with any gang, but they have no choice."

Not surprisingly, Arpaio flack Lisa Allen MacPherson didn't respond to The Bird's calls for comment on who really runs the jails. The MCSO routinely violates the First Amendment rights of this paper and, by extension, the citizens of this county by refusing to answer routine inquiries. It denies New Times reporters access to press conferences, and blocks public records requests concerning the sheriff.

Such issues are at the heart of New Times' ongoing lawsuit against the MCSO seeking public documents detailing Arpaio's commercial real estate investments. As payback, the sheriff wants Pinal County to criminally prosecute this publication for mentioning his home address online, even though anyone with Internet access could always get this info in scads of other places. Read more about this contretemps in The Bird's Xmas card column to Joe ("Joe Strikes Back," December 21, 2006).

Bottom line is, Tent City's a lawless place controlled by organized criminal enterprises. Jeez, Sheriff Joke's the best friend gangbangers've ever had! The Woods should make the top screw an honorary skinhead. The Bird's sure the sheriff would enjoy wearing the steel-toed boots the Aryans favor on the outside.

Ahr on Ice

Speaking of DUIers and Maricopa County jails, this taloned tweeter's recently learned that Russell "Pete" Ahr, the former Phoenix public information officer for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (a.k.a. "ICE"), did a lil' time behind Arpaio's bars for (presumably) hitting the bars.

Seems Ahr was popped June 1, 2006, by Scottsdale po-po and found to have a sky-high blood-alcohol content of .166. State law sets an extreme DUI at .15 percent. The offense garners a mandatory 10-day stay in the slammer.

That means Ahr, 54, got to rub elbows with some of the very illegal Mexican immigrants ICE's charged with capturing, seeing that Maricopa County Attorney Candy Thomas and Sheriff Joke have made it a priority to nab illegals and try them on conspiracy charges of smuggling themselves into the country. Ahr did his time shortly after retiring from ICE on October 13, with 30 years of service under his chapeau. (ICE says Ahr's departure had nothing to do with his DUI conviction, BTW.)

No word on whether Ahr was forced to join the Aryan Brotherhood.

Certainly this sharp-tongued stork can sympathize with Ahr's need to get hammered. It's tough working for ICE in this town. Your bosses change as fast as the diapers on a diarrheic newborn. Your co-workers are demoralized. Liberals hate you 'cause you bust illegal immigrants. Conservatives hate you 'cause you're not busting enough.

And when you're nabbed for drinking and driving, ICE critic Candy Thomas makes sure your morose mug shot is front and center on the County Attorney-sponsored Web site www.stopduiaz.com. (Sometimes it sucks having a last name that begins with "A.") Then, the ultimate insult, some chirping PHX columnist scribbles it all down for posterity, revealing that you were still past due on $751.93 of your $2,483.93 fine.

Ahr's now living in San Antonio, Texas, leaving ICE on the hunt to fill his job, listed at $90,000 a year. The position must have been pretty easy since ICE does very little! Don't believe this arrogant avian? Read New Times writer Ray Stern's cover story on the troubled agency ("Meltdown," November 16, 2006). Hmm, $90K to bullshit reporters at a do-nothing agency? Where does this brazen buzzard sign up?

Wrong-Way Wagner

So when AZ's paper of record isn't reprinting Sheriff Arpaio's press releases and licking the loafers of PHX power brokers, the Repugnant's flubbing the news with its team of crack reporters. Enter Dennis "The Menace" Wagner, who's been shuffling along at the daily for many a year now, probably daydreaming of cashing in his chips and living out his days in a Yuma double-wide.

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1 comments
chris
chris

I am currentyl an inmate at tent city on work furlough. Everytime I eat food from the mcso i get so sick it feel like im going to die. Take my freedom, and rights but dont try to kill me! This is unreal how mcso can do this. You are forced to buy there food to keep from getting sick which Arpaio owns and operates.

 
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