By New Times
By Connor Radnovich
By Robrt L. Pela and Amy Silverman
By Ray Stern
By Keegan Hamilton
By Matthew Hendley
By Monica Alonzo
By Monica Alonzo
Outrageous fortune: We do not know it's a hoax. Let the boy come forward and let him be DNA-tested. If he's Anna's blood, his claim to the fortune is legitimate. It's absurd to dismiss this out of hand. If he's not her son, then this father needs to be investigated for mental abuse of the child.
We were thinking Nobel: This story's so good, I'd put it in my butt! Charles Tatum deserves a Pulitzer.
Critical thinker: There's no child to be DNA-tested, for Chrissakes! New Times made up the entire story. New Times writes and publishes completely fabricated prank stories regularly, and has done so for decades.
If you try reading and thinking critically about this piece, you'll find that "clues" have been planted along the way that hint that it's made-up stuff, and usually in fake NT stories, the further you read, the higher the outrageousness level and purple prose. As for who the kid in the photos really belongs to, who the hell knows? Maybe he's the love-grandchild of Mike Lacey.
Stern’s boy: Okay, here is how I see it. The little Soto kid, Two Deers Jumping, or something like that, is the spitting image of Howard K. Stern. Look at him, he's pasty white with black hair!
Two Birds in Sky
Another satisfied customer: Oh, my fuckin' gosh! This is so hilarious. What kind of shit is this? Who the fuck does shit like this? I mean, Anna Nicole having an Indian man. I find it so funny.
Very Very Amused
Sealing the deal: Come on, folks, get your heads out of your asses and see this for the hoax that it is. After reading the first page, I thought I was reading The Onion. The ridiculous dialogue attributed to the child and to Anna Nicole. The photo of the "father" with the Jack Daniels bottle sealed the deal that this was all a big spoof.
Real Americans: The Native American tribes were here long before any of you people. They are the only true Americans in this country. Just remember if you are not Native American or a descendant of a Native American (I am), then your ancestors came from another country and you are not a true American.
If DNA is taken and Marshall is a child of Anna Nicole Smith's, then he deserves the same as her daughter. If Johnny Soto has bank records showing deposits in his account from her, that is one item of proof.
Prince Zsa Zsa??: I don't know. There may be some truth to this. Remember when Prince Zsa Zsa first came out to claim paternity, he said Anna had a secret. That he knew neither Larry nor Howard were the fathers. He knew Anna's secret and swore never to tell, but he would if he had to.
Maybe, just maybe, the Indian is Dannielynn's real daddy and Anna had to go to the Bahamas to avoid paternity test with Larry 'cause she really knew who the real father is. She didn't want her daughter to be taken from her, as Marshall was. Just wondering where she was in December 2005? Maybe made a pit stop in Arizona? Hmm?
Not too bright AND a misogynist: Well, I still don't think it's a hoax. For certain, the dumb, dead bitch would've fucked anybody, including Johnny Soto. I mean, nothing surprises me about her. The only thing that will prove it is DNA testing of Marshall, who looks just like Johnny, with Anna's eyes. I think that's what proves it to me: the eyes.
Sensitive soul: Such a sad story. I wept when I read it.
Depressed in Phoenix
Johnny’s money: Why does John say he is going to give half of any money recovered to his tribe? Hello, if in fact the child is Anna's (which I kind of think is true, based on her weird will) shouldn't the child's rightful inheritance be held in a trust until he is of legal age to decide what he wants to do with his (not Johnny's) money.
Culturally correct: Is this true, or is this a hoax? I mean, I am a full blood Tohono O'odham. After the birth of a baby, we mother, baby and father undergo the "blessing ceremony" performed by the medicine man. We are also given a name by the medicine man or rather our parents are told what our purpose is in life. Mine happens to be "Forerunner," so this part of the story is culturally correct.
Pamela L. Anghill
Respect the TO, please: I dunno about some of you, but Johnny Soto doesn't even look O'odham. And it's a li'l obvious that he's wearing a wig. Has the TO nation come out with an official statement about this?
As an O'odham, it's upsetting to see O'odham ceremonies and language explained in an article meant for deception. Some things should be respected and just plain left alone!
Just Another Rez Girl
See you then: I loved this article! Definitely helped me pass a little time at work this morning. Everyone needs to calm down and stop believing it. Don't you remember last year's story about the Japanese chef who served gorilla, dogs, and even Mexican body parts to the Valley's elite? Anyway, thanks for the laugh, New Times! I can't wait for next year!