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November 23 In Blogs: Arpaio, Muse, Feasting in Phoenix, and Phoenix Civic Space
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National Features >
City Pages
Michele Bachmann, Unmuzzled
You don't need to read Sarah Palin's book to hear the ravings of a mad woman.
By Matt Snyders
Miami New Times
Pimp Daddy
The rise and fall of a chubby sex-cult leader.
By Natalie O'Neill
Riverfront Times
Babe 'n' Arms
Tom was a hot-tempered cross-dresser with a garage full of guns--and then he became Rachel.
By Nicholas Phillips
Dallas Observer
The Fight for Texas
Rick Perry and Kay Bailey Hutchison are locked in a battle over the soul of the GOP. They're also running for governor.
By Sam Merten
Hoochie Mommies
Novice pole kittens seduce the steel
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By Clay McNear
Published on April 19, 2007
Somewhere in TV Land, Madge the Manicurist is soaking some poor sap's digits in Palmolive and claiming the stuff softens your hands while you do the dishes. Vile propaganda! The odious chemical compound is slowly eating away your paws, though rotting extremities are the least of your worries. Your kids are brats. You drive a Kia minivan. Your husband . . . don't go there. It's time to shake the apron shackle, slip on some pasties, and take that still-hot bod out for a spin at the weekly Pole Dancing Amateur Night competition. The contest offers slumming mommies, de-bunned librarians, wayward nuns -- pretty much anyone who's not ugly as dirt -- the chance to make it rain 250 clams by seducing the steel for a slobbering throng of leering Larrys -- which, you note, includes your stinking, rat-bastard husband. The bun-clapping begins at 12:30 a.m.
Thursdays, 2006
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