Groupie Think

Metalling in the affairs of others

I squeeze in between drummer (and Phoenix resident) Troy Luccketta and singer Jeff Keith for a photo but end up handing my camera to a stranger to take the shot because Chazz and Bones are all up on the other members of Tesla. Chazz is raving to guitarist Frank Hannon about some solo he did at a show years ago, and Bones is fawning over new guitarist Dave Rude's long, wavy, dark hair. I do not have time to ask the band about Nikola Tesla.

As we stumble and shriek toward the exit, Chazz and Bones each simultaneously recount every moment of their time at the signing table, like auctioneers on speed. But Bones waits until we get to the parking lot to share her favorite moment of the evening, which was a good idea. Even considering Chazz's current state of elation, it wouldn't have been good for him to hear this when we were within arm's reach of Tesla.

"Do you know what the blond guitarist, Frank, said to me?" she asks. "He said, 'What are you doing later? You wanna hang out and party?'"

Mike Gorman

Chazz gives Bones a stern look. "Hey baby, relax," Bones says. "The guitarist from Tesla wanted to fuck your wife. You should be proud."

But the flush in Chazz's cheeks doesn't look like pride. As we head home, Chazz says he can't wait to read this column. And all I can think is: Watch your back, Bret Michaels.

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