Slapstick Scammers

So maybe Beadle shouldn't have fed the reptile little Fido in front of the teens. But dagnabbit, they're 15, and they're gonna have to learn about this snake-eat-canine world eventually. Plus, there's worse interspecies eatin' to be seen on The Discovery Channel.

C'mon, it was a dog, people! You know, the critters who get hit by cars all the damn time? The ones local animal shelters have to put down for various reasons? To listen to the bunny-huggers from the AZ Humane Society boo-hoo about it, you'd think Beadle had fed TomKat’s baby Suri to a bleedin' crocodile.

"This man subjected an innocent puppy to unspeakable, unnecessary suffering and a terrible death," blubbered Cheryl Naumann, the society's president and CEO.

Yeah, but he also gave a reptile a happy meal it'll never forget.

Hundreds, if not thousands of cute, furry animals in the Valley disappear down the gullets of hungry pet serpents every day. And snake owners may not be as particular as Naumann when it comes to a rabbit, a rat, a small goat, or even a 20-pound pre-killed pig.

"The disturbing part was the people he allowed to watch — it wasn't done in an educational manner," John Bergman of the Mesa pet shop Reptile Adventures told this worm-swallower. "Being a snake guy, if something was wrong with the puppy — why not? At least it's recycling."

Indeed, Naumann's Humane Society announced earlier this month it may have to euthanize hundreds of kittens overcrowding its shelter.

This sapsucker suggests that Naumann and Valley snake owners get together for some all-natural "recycling."