Bird Alert

The feathered fiend demands travel records from Sheriff Joe, decries Prop 100 hooey, and hangs with some art-geek meshuggenehs


This brew-poundin' budgie recently spent a Friday evening bar-hoppin' with the wacky Hobart Epstein and a crew of madcap artistes as part of Epstein's impromptu Coyote Art Swap Meet, with coyote-themed art from about a dozen or so local daubers and other creative cats.

Art-scene oddity Epstein had been pestering this peacock the week before with cryptic calls and annoying e-mails regarding the art prank, slated to go down at The Roosevelt, Matt Pool's downtown saloon. Just one fly in Epstein's ointment: He hadn't earned Pool's blessing for the festivities.

Beer Hall Putz: J.T.  Ready, the Ernst Roehm of the East Valley, addresses the anti-immigrant faithful.
Beer Hall Putz: J.T. Ready, the Ernst Roehm of the East Valley, addresses the anti-immigrant faithful.

No wonder Epstein, looking like a cowpoke version of Harpo Marx in a Marilyn Monroe wig and tweed porkpie hat, and his compadre El Santo, in a three-piece suit and long, black wig, were 86'd by Pool's wife, Erenia, not long after trying to take over the spot with their kooky conclave.

Chomping an unlighted cigarillo, Epstein declared The Roosevelt to be "a no-fun zone" in his shrill, affected Southern drawl, then led his regrouped band of merry pranksters, coyote art and all, down to Shady's on Indian School Road and 27th Street, where their screwy shenanigans were tolerated. This freaky finch followed, of course.

Libations flowed, and the art show commenced, featuring absurdly awful coyote-themed work by painter Erin Sotak, ceramicist Diane Fisher, and Alpha Monster impresario Baron Gordon. Mixed media artist Allison King took home first prize with her Fucking Diaspora (Revenge of the Biltmore Coyote Bitch), made from crushed quartz and brushed stainless gold portraying a coyote that's been attacking dogs in the Biltmore area.

Hobart and El Santo eventually dropped their shtick and revealed themselves as painter Shawn Carney and photog Aaron Abbott, respectively. The pair informed this winged wordsmith they wanted to stage the exhibition as a "major league prank and performance art piece" meant to poke fun at snooty scenesters who take themselves too seriously.

"We were almost anticipating getting kicked out," Carney claimed of The Roosevelt fiasco. "We freely admit we're retarded for doing this. We're just being annoying little shits."

As are many in The PHX's art scene. But unlike them, at least these art-geek meshuggenehs massaged this funky flamingo's funny bone.

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Mr. Pibb
Mr. Pibb

Tzvi-flea, ain't just the man's fanatical looks. The dude's bad news. That Newsaxon page where he says Turner Diaries is his favorite book. That's fucked up. His "shootout" last year with an undocumented migrant. His double court-martial. The fact Five-O is studying him now. His neoNazi connections. His disruption of the Mesa City Council. Etcetera. Can't be long until he goes Taxi Driver/Timothy McVeigh/VT shooter.


I must say, it's a pleasure not to know you. Such vitriolic spewings directed at people you don't even know! Shame on you.


Great forensic(k) profiling skills there Mr. P(h)ibb. Perhaps we should hire you to screen all "menacing" looking people from entering our country too. Come to think of it, that sounds like a pretty prejudiced and racist oriented job to suit you well. What do you know? The ones spouting out the names have proven themselves the guilty ones yet again.


I just love that name "Keno Hawker"!!! Only in Arizona.

Mr. Pibb
Mr. Pibb

This Ready guy looks like a real menace. Cops better stay on his ass like flies on shit. Lemons, watch your back and his front. No telling what the guy will do.

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