Men Behaving Badly

He-man woman-haters at the Phoenix Country Club? Say it ain't so!

Published online July 17, 2007, 5:59 p.m. MST
COPYRIGHT 2007, Phoenix New Times

You wouldn't think, in 2007, that a restaurant would be allowed to serve only men. In this day and age, surely even the Phoenix Country Club wouldn't forbid women from entering one of its dining rooms, much less enjoying a cocktail there.

And you certainly wouldn't think that, if a female PCC member challenged the segregated Men's Grill, certain gentlemen at the club would resort to calling her a "bitch" and a "whore."

Mark Andresen

Location Info


Phoenix Country Club

2901 N. Seventh St.
Phoenix, AZ 85014

Category: Sports and Recreation

Region: Central Phoenix

In graffiti.

On their own golf course.

These days, the Phoenix Country Club is like 1965 Selma — only instead of racists defending their lily-white elections, we've got Thurston Howell III fighting for the right to drink his gin without his wife interrupting.

It might be funny if it hadn't become so vicious.

After all, it's easy to shrug off the issue of whether rich men should be allowed to dine without rich women around, even if you don't quite see the point. Not to mention the fact that no one has ever been forced to join a country club. "My view is that people who aren't happy with a private club should leave," says William Maledon, a prominent lawyer in town and the president of the club's board of directors.

Really, it's hard to argue against his point.

But then you look at how nutty some club members have acted, and you'd think that someone violated their grandmothers with a 9-iron rather than simply pushed for fully integrated dining.

After a pair of longtime members, Logan and Barbara Van Sittert, asked for the Men's Grill to be opened to women, all hell broke loose, at least by country club standards.

Members responded by vandalizing the golf course with the above-mentioned graffiti against Barbara, according to a letter written by the Van Sittert's lawyer.

They also, apparently, vandalized Logan Van Sittert's locker. (Rumor says that a stream of urine was involved, although the board president wrote in a letter to membership that "many of the rumors" are "wildly inaccurate.") According to the Van Sitterts' lawyer, some members also confronted Logan Van Sittert at the male-only grill, calling him a "traitor" and telling him to "get out."

Bullies always seem to surface in battles like this, even at exclusive clubs. Okay, maybe especially at exclusive clubs. But based on the documentation I've seen, the board's official reaction hasn't been much better.

After the Van Sitterts filed a civil rights complaint with Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard in February, the club actually tried to strip the couple of their membership — first by attempting to expel them, and later, as a compromise, offering to buy them out.

Then, according to a letter from the couple's lawyer, the board of directors also put in a place a policy threatening to expel any member who makes "derogatory or otherwise injurious comments to the media."

You'd think we were talking about state secrets, not about men who want to eat cheeseburgers without women around.

I mean, really. This sort of thing requires a news blackout? And just because a guy dares to challenge a very old, kind of weird policy, he's a "traitor"?

All this over a restaurant!

I think F. Scott Fitzgerald was right: The rich are different than the rest of us. For one thing, they take life a lot more seriously.

For months now, the fracas over the Men's Grill has been the subject of cocktail party chatter. I'd heard the rumors, but the situation stayed just that: something to talk about, not something to write about.

Then I got a packet in the mail. Sent anonymously, of course, but clearly the goods. There was the civil rights complaint from the Van Sitterts — still pending — as well as a follow-up letter from their lawyer.

I have to admit, I began reading a bit skeptically. If women don't like the policies at PCC, why not find another club? There's also a good argument to be made that, with all the serious problems in the world, this is low on the totem pole.

Part of it, I'm sure, is generational. Like a lot of women my age, I've never considered myself a feminist. My mother is a baby boomer, not me. Her generation won the important battles long before my peers and I had bras to burn and admissions essays to write. We've always thought of ourselves as capable of just about anything, not to mention welcome pretty much everywhere — even, for us female reporters, the men's locker room. If guys want a place to eat without us, no big deal.

But I began to feel differently as I continued to read the paperwork. Instead of wondering why the women wanted to get in so badly, I began to wonder why the men were so desperate to keep them out.

The men, in this case, didn't seem conspiratorial so much as pathetic. Like 7-year-old boys in high dudgeon, telling girls to get lost. Or bloodless WASPs lamenting the good old days when you could get a nice Irish girl for a servant rather than someone who speaks Spanish.

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I say who cares - if the men want to have a "men's club" - let them - where do I sign my husband up? I think men need "male bonding" time - just as women need their "girls night outs". Isn't there more to worry about in this world?

Maureen Olson
Maureen Olson

I'm surprised you didn't mention that the Van Sitterts' attorney, David Bodney, used to be the Editor of Phoenix New Times years ago. Shouldn't this have been mentioned in the interest of full disclosure? Especially when a "mystery" package of documents arrives at the New Times offices, readers should know the attorney's connection to the paper, no?


I have to agree with the first commenter; that's exactly what went through my mind. There are women-only gyms, and many other women-only establishments and groups, yet none of these supposed "equalitarians" have a problem with that. The only time they care is if it is male-only. As the saying goes, they want everything to be equal, as long as they are a little more "equal" than men. Pshaw!


I am a 49 year old female and I am sickened at times by the actions of women in the name of "equal rights" - give me a break ladies - go form your own club and leave the mens club as it is. There is nothing wrong with men and women having thier own separate places to socialize. Jeez, when will this stop ?


Separate but equal really isn't equal at all, right? I don't think it would matter if the women's grill was exactly the same or not.


Seconded. To be perfectly honest, they don't bother me at all. Except when I'm attempting to find a job at a gym and 3/4 of the ads specify "women only". Much like the old "No Irish Need Apply" signs, don't you think? Ignorant hyperbole, of course.

Which is what your article consists of.


I'll start caring about this around the time you also write an article decrying the 'women only' gyms in the valle.y


"The Men's Grill may be one of the few remaining vestiges of a time when men did the deals and women served the drinks."

Sarah Fenske: I am a woman born in 1948. Welcome to having to figure out, all over again, why a place like the Men's Grill at PCC is where you can enjoy butting your head against the glass ceiling over and over again... And where Bob Brightwhiteteeth will be introduced to Jerry Colangelo or any other mover and shaker and will get to show what a team player he is and where the deal will be struck to hire him instead of you. This kind of crap goes on all the time and you can bet that more than one woman in Phoenix has lost her chance for career advancement in favor of some good old boy getting a leg up over an equally qualified woman.


While I certainly don't agree with the tactics I just don't get why men cant have a place of their own. I mean has there ever been a guy at Curves Fitness? It states right on the front page of their web site "Dedicated to women's fitness..." and how many womens only spas and gyms are there? If the women want a place to call their own they have every right to open their own, and if it isn't as cool as the mens place who's fault is that? I am all for womens rights, but cant a guy just be a guy at a guys place without having a 2 drink minimum and a stripper pole in the middle? I would think women would rather it be a country club than having us see Bambi shake her tits for for a fistful of dollar bills.


He we go with another female poo-pooing another "guys group". Anytime men have something exclusive to them and want to keep it that way the ladies just can't wait to jump in and make them all seem like a bunch of immature, sexist cavemen. Like another comment before everywhere you go nowadays there are women only clubs, groups, organizations, etc. and I don't see the guys clamoring to get in. Even the gym I go to has a "women only" workout room and you don't see me crying at the front desk because I'm not welcome in there. Men need fraternity and I don't see the harm in a little exclusivity. Like the author said, women reporters even go to the men's locker room now for crying out loud. Is there ANYWHERE men can go to be with men? Let the boys have their clubs, god knows the girls got plenty of theirs.


i love people watching, especially of the female type (except for a nagging wife/girlfriend) i don't get the rule no dames aloud. but what's up with , womens workout world, and all the other LADIES ONLY CLUBSnational negro college fund and all the other BLACK ONLY CLUBS, Asian American Assoc., the point is sometimes whoever you maybe you "NOT WANTED!!!"GET OVER IT!

francine hardaway
francine hardaway

Go Barbara and Logan from Francine, Sam and Chelsea. We all knew each other in the 60s and 70s, when John Hardaway and I belonged to the club. Francine tried to do this in the 70s and got her ass kicked out of the club. Keep fighting!!!!!!! I'm so sorry John isn't alive to see this...

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