Fat Tuesday

Travel overseas and ask any foreign bloke what stereotypes strike them the most regarding the ugly American. You may be surprised by the answer.

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We know from experience that the retort doesn't concern vomit-colored strip malls or our nasally accents punctuated with a barrage of "likes" and "uhs." Nor is it the easy-American-Valley-girl distinction or the gun-toting-freak label. It's the blubber, y'all. You know, the fat-packing dude or dudette with Crisco seeping out of every disgusting pore, face unashamedly deep in MSG-processed crap and a canned domestic beer by their side. It's the human Big Gulps and Frito-Lays who you work with, sit beside on the flight to LAX, and (gross!) share the toilet seat with at any public bathroom.

Monkey Pants Bar & Grill celebrates this gargantuan slice of Americana during its Two Sizes Too Small Tuesdays promotion. Each week, take your greedy gut to the watering hole while wearing "Monkey Pants-approved pants" that are too freaking tight and receive happy-hour prices on grub and suds all night, including the dozen-wings special for $3.95. If you really need the artery cloggers in a basket, Flabio, try ordering a side salad, too.