To Half and To Whole

Being Mexican-plus

 Dear Readers:
A couple of weeks ago, I asked half-breeds to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in — gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentary. Enjoy!

If you're half-Mexican and:
• Half-African: Afrijoles
• Half-black: black beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican
• Half-Arab: garbanzo beaner, America's worst nightmare
• Half-Canadian: Canexican
• Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, rice 'n' beans
• Half-Cornish: Cornish tortilla
• Half-Costa Rican: Mextica ("tico" is a nickname for Costa Ricans)
• Half-Croatian: Cro-Mex
• Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian
• Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino
• Half-Flemish: Fletino
• Half-French: Frenchican
• Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, white bean
• Half-German: beanerschnitzel, Germexican, wiener beaner
• Half-Greek: Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)
• Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)
• Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple salsa
• Half-Honky: Chichonky
• Half-Indian (the India kind): curry tamale
• Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole
• Half-Irish: leprecano, green bean, McBeaner
• Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Spic-talian
• Half-Japanese: Japanic, Mexanese
• Half-Jewish: jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew
• Half-Korean: Korexican
• Half-Pakistani: Mexistani
• Half-Panamanian: Panamex
• Half-Polish: Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)
• Half-Portuguese: pork and beans
• Half-Redneck: rednexican, redback, wetneck
• Half-Russian: brown Russian
• Half-Salvadoran: Salvexican
• Half-Samoan: Samexican
• Half-Scotch: McRiguez
• Half-Turk: Turxican

Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself "spam," a Cuban Jew goes by Jewban, while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a Minneruvian. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is "anus" in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:


Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at »e-mail link. Letters will be edited for clarity, cabrones. And include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or we’ll make one up for you!

How about an American, like all of us mutts?

Don’t see your nickname? E-mail me, and I’ll compile a full list for my as-yet-unfinished Web page!

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