Pitiless P-Town

The cranky cockatoo slams callous P-towners, pecks away at (sigh . . .) another bogus "plot" to off Sheriff Joe, and profiles the "Mexican Mutant"

"Administering anesthetic would be practicing medicine," Haworth told The Bird, who then asked the bod-mod god if there was a lot of blood when he inserted the lumps of fine-grade silicone beneath the skin of Louie's head.

"Depends on your definition of a lot of blood," he replied coolly. "The gauzes I use are four-by-four-inch square. I might go through two or three of those in a procedure."

Maybe 500 people worldwide have horns, Haworth estimates. But Sanchez is the only dood with "sixth-generation" horns — meaning that horns of ascending size were implanted six times to incrementally stretch Sanchez's skin. The whole process took over a year.

One horny guy: Hell boy Louie Sanchez III shows off, among other things, his forked tongue.
Stephen Lemons
One horny guy: Hell boy Louie Sanchez III shows off, among other things, his forked tongue.
Tony Blei

Why would anyone wanna fuck with their head to look like the Greek god Pan? Seems Sanchez was working as a piercer for the Glendale shop Body Creations when he decided he wanted to do something to show he was "dedicated to the industry." Something hardcore. Something he couldn't hide. So he looked up Haworth and got the first "generation" of his Satan spikes.

There was only one problem. His then-boss, Body Creations owner Jerry Frederick, warned him against getting extreme body-mod work done that Frederick believed would freak out customers. When Sanchez arrived showing off his new nodules, Frederick fired him.

This worm-wrangler called up Frederick to converse about the hypocrisy of it all. Frederick was unapologetic:

"Let me tell you something. Putting horns in your head isn't body piercing, dude."

Commented Haworth, "It's the most ironic thing in the world. Louie's working at a piercing shop, comes in with horns, and they go, 'Whoa whoa whoa, that's too extreme. We're letting you go'? It shocked pretty much everyone in the body-modification community, almost around the planet."

Not to mention that Body Creations might've benefited from the free pub of Sanchez's appearance in the Ripley's book if it'd been tolerant of his horns. But that's all ancient history now.

Sanchez admitted that his noggin bumps are "a little bit for attention." But he added, "This is my body, and I want to see what it can go through. Plus, it pleases me."

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3 comments
Jango Davis
Jango Davis

Gotbaum was a goddamn drunk and drunk as a skunk at the airport according to the autopsy. A million fucking drunks are left alone prior to booking, why should Gotbaum have been treated differently? Because she was woman? A mother? Rich and important? That seems to be her supporters' response. She was a self-important addict who couldn't even keep her shit together for 5 minutes. I've seen meth accicts and crack heads do better. If she was a single black man you wouldn't give a shit so save your sympathies for the devil.

ChewonThis
ChewonThis

The writer has one thing right: Larry Gaydos is a big douche. I'm tired of hearing him talk about his "thousands of Gaydos peeps" on air. Tens of peeps is more like it. What a loser!

Nathan Fluet
Nathan Fluet

So you are just saying he was born here or used to live here right, because I met him at the last gun show and he said he doesn't live in Phoenix he lives in Nevada and said he wont be back in Phoenix till the next gun show in December.

 
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