Punker's Pride

Sample lyric: "The Bro-Loaf crew is in full effect/We're drinkin' brews and pissin' down your neck!!"

Biggest internal drama: "No drama among bros. We are awesomer than awesome!" Berenice says.

THE NAUGHTY LITTLE SQUIRREL FUCKERS

Shawn (The Declaimed), Drea (My Doll), Tom (Pinky Tuscadero WKAF), Nick (Dephinger)

Advantages: "We have written songsabout nuts, deviled eggs, and puking on a dog. I think that's as punk rock as it gets," Drea says.

Disadvantages: They've rehearsed only eight times so far.

Their sound: "A cross between a nail being driven into the skull of any member of Gunfuck and a drunken squirrel doing karaoke wearing only a thong," Tom says.

Titan band that troubles them the least: "The Fuckin Rabbits. I dunno, maybe because the only thing talented about the band is the actual name? Just saying," Drea says.

Sample song lyric: "You fucking stole my glass eye" (from "Taintlicker Fuckbeast").

Biggest internal drama: "It's none of New Times' business. And besides, there's nothing for Stephen Lemons to eat here," Tom says.

THE FUCKIN RABBITS

Carl (The Meat Department), Steven (Heatstroke) Greg (Storm The Gates), Jason (NunZilla)

Advantages: Has the psych-out thing down pat. Even has a song that mentions "Bro-Loaf bro hos who get tattoos on their lower back."

Disadvantages: Guitarist Steven is a megalomaniac with a Marc Bolan fixation and says, "When we play, I am going to wear a shirt with my face on it and a huge freaking cardboard cutout of myself behind our band."

Their sound: "I really think our sound has been reflecting [Bolan's] earlier work with T. Rex, bongos and all," Steven says.

Titan band that troubles them the least: "Bro-Loaf is going to freaking blow. I mean, in all honesty, how in hell do you think they can get away with a name like that?"

Sample song lyric: "Our future hit song is a big slap in the face towards me about being a 'Quaker,'" Steven says. "It's called 'Pants Full of Oatmeal,' and you guys will probably crap your pants after hearing this."

Biggest internal drama: "Greg just shows up and says, 'Yeah, dude, that's cool,' so I boss him around like my Mormon ex-girlfriends. And Jason broke his fingers like two days ago, so I'm not even sure if he knows that he's not in our band. Ha!" Steven says.

ARIZONA JOE AND THE METHADONE 3

J.R. (Working Class Whore), Joey (BYOW?), Landon (Last Resistance), Eric (Pinky Tuscadero WKAF )

Advantages: No one knows what band Joey is really in, so the smack talk is harder to deliver.

Disadvantages: Has a rep for being lazy, which they reinforced by ignoring the questionnaire until the last minute.

Their sound: Landon: "We all have different backgrounds and have come up with some really interesting stuff." Uh-oh.

Titan band that troubles them the least: "I don't think Give Me Back My Sunday has practiced yet. Haha."

Sample song lyric: "This is another one of those secrets I can't disclose until the show."

Biggest internal drama: "We came together really easily and haven't had any major songwriting problems." Translation: The drummer writes songs, too!

GIVE ME BACK MY SUNDAY

Nickolas (ABIOTIX), Jesse (80*D), Zeb (Blanche Davidian), Geoff (Last Resistance)

Advantages: Didn't answer the questionnaire at all, creating the illusion they're going to bring the whole evening to a thud with their serious emo shit.

Disadvantages: Everyone keeps getting their name right.