Hen Party

The hellacious hooter watches Mayor Goober lay a colossal huevo, and wishes a heavenly millstone on the neck of a nativist numskull

Anyone surprised Mayor Phil "Goober" Gordon's turned clucker on Phoenix Police Department Operations Order 1.4.3, folding like a cardboard box to the nativists? After all, this is the same pusillanimous pipsqueak who cowered behind his mommy when The Bird lobbed a few tough questions at him during his reelection campaign (see "Mayor McChickenshit," May 24).

Still, the Taloned One was a smidgen surprised that Gordon waited but a trio of months before swiping a page from his opponent in the September election, Republican Steve Lory. You'll recall Lory took up the nativist cry that Operations Order 1.4.3 — the police policy that outlines when and how cops contact Immigration and Customs Enforcement — makes Phoenix a "sanctuary city."

Goober insisted that Phoenix ain't no sanctuary city, that ICE officers are embedded with P-town police, that they bust drop houses together, yadda-yadda-yadda. You'd think from listening to him that he'd written the dang thing.

Danny Hellman

Essentially, the 20-year-old policy assures us that beat cops won't be stopping people just to check their papers like in some old WWII-era Nazi flick. Nor is ICE notified every time officers issue a citation to a Hispanic.

But last week, Goober dramatically announced he'd "no longer support" the operations order. Instead of just saying what he would support, he impaneled a four-man mayoral flak-deflecting squad, which includes such influential, moderate Republicans as former Maricopa County Attorney Rick Romley and former AZ Attorney General Grant Woods.

"As mayor, I have seen our situation escalate to a perilous point," intoned flip-floppin' Phil. "Rhetoric is replacing reason. There's too much hate. It's ugly; it's dangerous — and good people continue to suffer."

That part about the hate's right on the dinero, especially when the volatile situation at M.D. Pruitt's Home Furnishings is taken into account. But in response to the reactionaries who want everyone who's undocumented rounded up and sent south, what's Goober done? Caved like a spent copper mine.

Goober's panel of Republican wise men doesn't hurt him, though. Gordon hankers to run for governor one day, so he needs insulation from the inevitable fallout.

"He could've called those guys into his office in an afternoon and gotten the advice," erstwhile mayoral contender Lory opined to this tweeter. "Or have the city attorney privately give him advice. Now this panel is his lightning rod."

Lory, who ended up getting 23 percent of the vote, says he's not pissed that Goober said one thing before the election and did exactly the opposite three months later. Goober's a wet-finger-waver from way-back. Plus, our milquetoast mayor has über-conservative, fat-pocketed Washington, D.C. think-tank Judicial Watch breathing down his neck.

"Judicial Watch threatened litigation on this issue," Lory reminded, referring to a recent visit to Phoenix by a J.W. law-hound. "The city would've lost, because the current order is illegal. And Judical Watch threatened a recall of the mayor. That's what it takes, I guess."

Lory believes federal law invalidates the Operations Order, but it's by no means established that local gendarmes should be enforcing federal immigration law, or that Judicial Watch could win a suit against the city.

Rather, this rascally rooster believes it was that sniff of a possible recall that forced Goober to, uh, assume the position. Before this, Goober supported Police Chief Jack Harris, who in the wake of PHX police officer Nick Erfle's fatal shooting by an illegal alien in September, was sticking by police policy.

"Am I saddened by another senseless murder of a Phoenix police officer?" asked Harris in an Arizona Republic opinion piece following Erfle's demise. "Yes, of course I am. But I am also saddened when I turn on the radio and hear some useless gasbag using the murder of Officer Nick Erfle to promote a personal racist agenda."

Now that's what a mayor should sound like! Harris pointed out that the thug who offed Erfle had been deported by ICE before, and that Erfle was attempting to arrest the scumbag on a misdemeanor warrant when he was shot. So, how would scrapping Operations Order 1.4.3 have saved Erfle? Answer: It wouldn't have.

Harris explained, "The mayor does not write or approve police policy, I do." He declared, "I am not inclined to turn my officers into immigration agents just because it suits a politician's purpose."

Harris' words were not pointed toward Phil, but they might as well have been, because it now suits Goober's purpose to turn Harris' men into immigration agents.

Phil would've been better off remaining resolute in the face of the rising tide of intolerance. But he'd need a set of stones for that. Phil created this panel in the hopes of throwing a sop to the anti-immigrationists. But this bluebird's got some bad news for the city's yella-bellied chief executive — the nativists want none of it.

At the weekly insult orgy down at Pruitt's on Saturday, nativists waved signs that read, "Fire Grant Woods!" See, Woods has been hired by Cochise County to prosecute a Border Patrol Agent charged with second-degree murder in the death of an illegal immigrant. To nativist noggins, he might as well be U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton (sometimes referred to as "Johnny Satan"), the guy who prosecuted Border Patrol Agents Ignacio Ramos and Jose Compean for shooting a fleeing, unarmed illegal in the butt.

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Jill Farrell
Jill Farrell

Since I started working here, I�ve seen this organization described in many different ways. This is the first time I�ve seen us referred to as ���onservative, fat-pocketed Washington, D.C. think-tank Judicial Watch�

It�s all about whose ox is getting gored. Next time we condemn a Delay or Cheney -- before it becomes fashionable -- please do remember to remove the "uber".

Judicial Watch, Inc. is a constitutionally conservative, nonpartisan educational foundation that promotes transparency, accountability and integrity in government, politics and the law.

Thank you.

WIll Smith
WIll Smith

Taloned One? Puhleeeeeez, gimme a break! Seems your talon has captured one big egg, the one that sits on your shoulders. Bottom line: If illegals came here the right, LAWFUL way, they wouldn't have to hide, or be scared or cry like WE did something to them. They come illegally, they take jobs illegally, using illegal documents. So tell me, oh big bag of feathers (mostly air filled, as I can see, though)why do AMERICANS have to pay for their ...ahem...misfortunes? We already pay in so many other ways, already. Get a real job, Bozo....don't look for the one under AMERICAN, because you surely don't sound like you could be one. How this newspaper hired you, I can only guess. Perhaps you'll squawk differently, when an illegal DUI suspect takes away a family memeber...or some illegal heroin OD's someone you love....maybe some gangbangers have a little fun with ya?...would that open your eyes? How about a pile of disposible diapers on the side of your home?...how about a strange disease for ya at your next fast food purchase....Maybe...even MAYBE, come take YOUR job?...hmmmmmmmmmmm


Unless you have absolutely no interest in public safety, you will find the following information very difficult to believe.

If you are an illegal alien and speak no English and have absolutely no proof of legal residence, but do have criminal tendencies, then Phoenix, Arizona is a good place to be.

Phoenix Police Departmental Order 1.4.3 A Disgrace to Taxpayers and the Police Officers that Protect Us 5 of the past 7 Phoenix Police Officers KILLED at the hand of Illegal Aliens Mayor Gordon and Chief Harris want the public to believe that 1.4.3 only applies to misdemeanor offenses. Below find the actual list of crimes committed daily by Illegal Aliens that your Mayor and Chief of Police have determined not worthy to report to Immigration and Customs Enforcement: Reckless Endangerment Homicide DUI Hit & Run Aggravated Assault

Armed Robbery Rape Forgery Extortion Fraudulent Schemes

Lewd Behavior Kidnapping Burglary Robbery Identity Theft*

Breaking & Entering Manslaughter Child Molestation Hostage Taking* Public DrunkennessAssault & BatteryAssault with a Deadly Weapon

*Unless violating AZ Human Smuggling Law

As Citizens of Phoenix, we must Demand that Mayor Gordon and Police Chief Harris permanently eliminate the restrictions placed on Phoenix Police Officers, Demand that our Laws are enforced and that Illegal Criminal Aliens are immediately deported.

This is also true, of course, with all misdemeanor offenses. The Police Department allows a suspect to "self ID" (give any false name that comes to mind) and then writes a citation which contains a "promise to appear", and then turns 'em loose. You can probably guess what percentage ever show up in court.

For purposes of clarity, this policy is not the choice of the Phoenix cops out on the street, the officers who risk their lives every day trying to actually enforce the law. This inane policy is mandated by Operations Order 1.4.3 as created by Chief Harris and supported by Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon.

The police officers union adamantly opposes this policy, but they are ignored and suppressed.

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