"Up From the Ashes: Phoenix Goes to Mars"

Let's not pull punches. Phoenicians detest Tucsonans, their Birkenstock flip-flops and patchouli cologne, their laissez-faire approach to life, their liberal voting habits. (On the other hand, we've got Sheriff Joe and the idiots who keep electing him, so maybe they’re on to something.) Mostly, we loathe the University of Arizona, though we're forced at virtual gunpoint to give the Mildcats props for their key contributions to the Phoenix Mars Mission. (Phoenix? Is that a dig? Well, yuk it up, furballs. We’ll see you on the football field.) The NASA effort is scheduled to land robotic "scouts" on the Angry Red Planet this May, and the history of the project is chronicled in the new "Up From the Ashes” installation. As noted in the “living exhibit” (it’ll be updated as new mission data becomes available), UofA is the first public school to lead such an effort. We think that's awesome. But make no mistake. Our admiration is grudging. We still loathe you. Good luck in space, dickheads.
Mondays-Saturdays, 2008