The Bird catches Darrell Ankarlo butt-smoochin' Sheriff Joe again, relates the latest on the MCSO's Honduran scandal and introduces candidates vying for Candy Thomas' job

You got that right, Jack-Off. This was a New Times baby, no matter what Channel 12 maintains. But at least 12 reporter Joe Dana's been dogging Joe's ass about the story, not licking it, like Ankarlo.

THE CONTENDERS

The Bird flew down to the Maricopa County Democratic Party's spring meeting recently to suss the Dems' two contenders for county attorney, and came away liking both catbirds for different reasons.

Either one would be hella-better than Candy Thomas! Electing Gerald Richard would be like putting Samuel L. Jackson in the CA's office to kick some tailfeathers. A top attorney-administrator for the Phoenix Police Department, he's lately been responsible for keeping us safe during the Super Bowl, and for keeping the two sides separated during the demos at M.D. Pruitt's Home Furnishings. Richard has also worked as a former prosecutor fighting gangs, which makes him far more experienced than Thomas, who has never personally tried a felony case.

Tim Nelson was most recently Janet Napolitano's top counsel, and can brag about pulling in mucho dinero in campaign contributions from his highfalutin legal pals. Word on the street is, Nappy's already making calls on his behalf, asking folks to support him, though both he and the Guv's flack deny this. Nelson impressed the winged wonder by making pointed attacks on Thomas during his remarks, mentioning the CA's abuse of power in the New Times case (see "Blowback," Februrary 21, among other articles). He's pursued big-time white-collar criminals in court, which also gives him a leg up on Thomas.

Space prevents this sandpiper from going on at length, so check the Feathered Bastard blog for more on this pair. This year, the Dems have much to be enthused about. Thomas is hobbled by scandal, and either Nelson or Richard has the chops to wring his chicken neck.