Green Party

Your windshield on the way to California. Dried barf on your shoes. A decapitated Spock. Séamus McCaffrey’s on St. Patrick’s Day. What do these have in common? They’re all splattered in green shit. But of the four, Séamus is by far the most appealing.

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Celebrate that tiny strain of Irish blood coursing through your immigrant-mutt veins by hitting up the downtown hang for the classic St. Patty’s Day experience of partying with folks dressed like leprechauns who are looking to get hammered on green cocktails.

The big shebang, which features all-day entertainment by Irish step dancers and jig-makers such as Krystal & Sturges, Tartantic, and Blackwood, fires up at 8 a.m. Morning alkies get in free from 8 to 11 a.m. Midday drinkers have to cough up $5 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Late-night wastoids must throw down $10 from 6 to 2 a.m.

No complaints about the price, please, because proceeds benefit St. Mary’s Food Bank Alliance.