By Melissa Fossum
By Lauren Wise
By New Times
By Amanda Savage
By Jason P. Woodbury
By Troy Farah
By New Times
Sworn Enemy Who are they: Metalcore band from New York City; formed in 2001. Who were they: Used to be called Mindset, another name that sucks. Music sounds like: Transformers fucking in 1988. Name sounds like: The title to a bad comedy starring David Spade and Rob Schneider.
Down to Nothing Who are they: Straight-edge hardcore band from Richmond, Virginia; formed in 2000. Music sounds like: The soundtrack to a first-person-shooter video game we played last week. Name sounds like: A botched attempt at profundity.
Shai Halud Who are they: Metalcore band from Pompano Beach, Florida; formed in 1995, they have enough former band members to populate a small town. Music sounds like: What Ted Bundy heard in his head before he killed somebody. Name stolen from: The Dune sci-fi book series by Frank Herbert. Shai Halud was the holy name given to the giant sand worm of Arrakis by the desert people known as Fremen. Name sounds like: "Gesundheit" in Arabic.
Terror Who are they: Metalcore band from Los Angeles; formed in 2000. Music sounds like: What would've happened if Father Damien hadn't thrown himself out a window after being possessed by Satan, instead opting to front a bad punk band from the City of Angels. Name sounds like: A bad stab at sounding scary.
Recon Who are they: Straight-edge metalcore band from Glens Falls, New York; formed in 2003. Music sounds like: A very angry, constipated man trying to take a dump to the soundtrack of a prison movie starring "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Name sounds like: A G.I. Joe character.
Earth Crisis Who are they: Vegan, politically charged, straight-edge metalcore band from Syracuse, New York; formed in 1992, dissolved in 2001, reunited in 2007. Music sounds like: A really good metal band with some guy ruining it by screaming unintelligibly. Name sounds like: A DC Comics pan-title crossover series. Name also sounds like: A bad Animal Planet documentary series for kids.