The Bird praises L. Ron Hubbard, skewers a bladder-challenged bigot and offers a warning to the Big Cactus

WHITE-TRASH WEENIE

Like you needed more proof that immigrant-bashing nativists are low-life garbage. Noted Yosemite Sam impersonator "Buffalo" Rick Galeener was allegedly caught enjoying the pause that refreshes recently in front of some poor lady's house nearby the Macehualli Work Center on 25th Street, just south of Bell Road.

A bigoted redneck who refers to nonwhites as "monkeys," Galeener's one of the nastiest members of former Kia-peddler Rusty Childress' anti-immigrant hate group United for a Sovereign America, which has been protesting the day-labor center since the beginning of the year. This pistol-toting pack of losers parks itself outside Macehualli's fence daily, where its members wave signs, shout obscenities, and generally harass anyone going in or out of the place.

Although there are fast-food restaurants with restrooms a block away on Bell, Galeener allegedly opted to empty his bladder into a plastic bottle just outside Paulita Cortes' home, where he'd parked his truck. A contingent of four or five plainclothes Phoenix police officers is always near the work center to make sure tensions between the jornaleros who wait for day jobs at Macehualli and the armed U.S.A. demonstrators don't turn violent. Cortes was soon hollering for their help.

"My son was running behind me, and I turned to grab his hand," Cortes told The Bird via translator. "And that's when I saw [Galeener] holding his penis with one hand and the bottle with the other."

Cortes yelled. The cops came running, and Galeener was cited for indecent exposure, a class 1 misdemeanor, which carries up to six months in the slammer. According to Sergeant Brian Murray of the police department's Community Relations Bureau, buffalo chip copped to doing number one, but said he was whizzing inside his truck, not outside it. Murray pointed out that whether Galeener was urinating inside or outside his vehicle was irrelevant.

"[Cortes] says she saw his penis," said Murray. "That was her statement. So we just cited him for that. It doesn't matter if he was peeing or not."

Murray also indicated that Galeener may have narrowly escaped a more serious charge.

"If you have a victim that's less than 15, it's a felony," Murray informed this egret. "[Cortes] was an adult. Now, her 2-year-old son was with her. We don't know what he saw or what he did not see. He's only 2 and couldn't articulate what he saw or not."

Both Cortes and Salvador Reza, the operator of the work center, wondered why the police didn't slap the cuffs on Galeener and take him in. They believe that if Galeener had been Mexican, he'd have been placed in stir lickety-split.

Murray insisted Galeener was treated just like anyone else who decides to take a piss at high noon on a city street. Because Galeener had a valid Arizona driver's license, the cops accepted his promise to appear for a preliminary hearing March 18.

There have been two other people cited in minor incidents during the Macehualli face-off, according to police spokeswoman Stacie Derge. Murray denied favoritism's shown to either side. But there's no doubt members of U.S.A. have been making themselves at home, lounging in fold-up chairs, setting up card tables, even hosting a weenie roast on one occasion (no pun intended).

Nor has U.S.A. ever been shy about accepting extremists into its ranks. Both Mesa neo-Nazi J.T. Ready and Mexican flag-burner Laine Lawless have attended U.S.A. meetings and events, as have members of the Tonopah-based separatist group White Knights of America, and racist skinheads such as Damon Ashenfelter.

On February 9, neo-Nazi icon Elton Hall, 74, an organizer for George Lincoln Rockwell's American Nazi Party back in the day, was injured during a two-car collision while standing at his usual post at the corner of 25th and Bell. Hall's been in white power circles so long he's actually mentioned in books on the subject. Nevertheless, Childress' U.S.A. Web site lauded Hall as a "patriot."

The neighborhood surrounding Macehualli wants this ragtag assortment of nutbars out. Businessman Keenan Strand, owner of the McDonald's where Galeener opted not to urinate, organized a neighborhood demo in January asking the protesters to vamoose. But U.S.A. intends to remain at Macehualli indefinitely, forcing the PHX PD to keep detectives on sight and pay overtime for the same cops on weekends.

Certainly, U.S.A. members have their First Amendment rights, as does any gaggle of extremists. But at what point do the residents of that area earn some respite from these wackos, their intimidation tactics, and the odd geezer flashing his wrinkled manhood to a mom and her little kid?

HUBBARD HATERS

There's a soft spot in this wacky warbler's heart for flimflam artists, especially those able to make a mint off their cons, like the late, great founder of the Church of Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard, who's famous for saying, "If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion."

Sure, Scientology's bunk, and celebrity adherents like Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Isaac Hayes are idiots, as are the millions of others who've fallen for the pseudo-Freudian rip-off. But Hubbard, who started off as a sci-fi writer and dabbler in the occult, made himself a gazillionaire by hawking a pathway to enlightenment titled Dianetics and reeling in suckers willing to fork over their paychecks to his church.

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4 comments
Jim Williams
Jim Williams

I can rest a lot easier now after having read this last piece of garbage that Lemons wrote. I now understand why he writes at all. Calling himself the bird he naturally needs something to catch all the crap he drops around so he lines his own cage.What helps me rest though is the fact that he can side with Sal Reza and the illegal aliens,calling anyone who is for law enforcement obscene names and praising L.Ron Hubbard.No one can actutally take him seriously.He is comic relief on slow news days. Now that I understand that I can rest easy knowing that no one with half a brain takes him seriosly and that those who do have to be very few because I don't think there are that many stupid people in the valley.I still trust my fellow man more than that.

Luis
Luis

Bird,

I hope Shaq reads your message and stays away from Sheriff Joe. I really like the guy and it would be bad, really bad if he endorses veiny-nosed Arpaio in the upcoming elections. Keep the squawking bird, you are the best!

Liberty Goodyear
Liberty Goodyear

Kudos to Anonymous for your efforts to expose and debunk Scientology. It is a scam, a hoax, and a fraud of the highest order. There is nothing that Scientology adds to society or culture. Where are the Scientology charities, like food banks, health agencies, or homeless shelters? Where are the Scientology fundraisers for such endeavors? That's right. There aren't any and there never will be. Scientology is all about self, not others. And that, in a nutshell, is its Achilles heel and will be its downfall.But do not take that to mean that Scientology should be ignored like some harmless little passing fancy. It is dangerous, pernicious and evil. The greater the exposure of the truth about Scientology and its adherents, the sooner society will see that it is not a churh, does not deserve tax exempt status and should be banned in this country.

maggie
maggie

I beg to differ about the avian perception of why Anonymous is taking on Scientology, Inc. While the removal of Tom Cruise video in January was an attention-getter, the attention is sustained by the 'church's' written policy of intimidating those who would speak out against its abuses and "shuddering into silence" anyone who disagrees. In other words, Anonymous came for the TC vid and stayed for the unimaginable abuses of people and the law deployed by this TAX-EXEMPT organization. Most recently, Scientology, Inc. has tried to file a restraining order against Anonymous with trumped-up charges, as if people who sell sooperhuman powerz should be afraid of people with words on signs. Anonymous has helped to remove the fear, and now more people are speaking out. Scientology is worse than you think. Hopefully the forensic accountants can get in there soon.

 
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