The Bird on Mayor Phil and why the Fonz can't tell the world, "Fuck the police"


The last place this pugnacious penguin figured he'd ever be was sitting across a table from Mayor Phil Gordon. But the battle against Sheriff Joe Arpaio makes for odd allies: Republican Rick Romley's endorsing now-Democrat Dan Saban. And The Bird's applauding the courageous stance taken by Hizzoner over Nickel Bag Joe's dastardly, anti-immigrant dragnets.

But there we sat, over a cup a Joe at Hava Java at 32nd Street and Camelback, the mayor looking a pinch more peaked than usual, perhaps from being in the unusual position of granting an interview to one of his most dogged critics. But The Bird's willing to gobble a heapin' helpin' of crow for three reasons: The mayor's criticism of Arpaio during his César Chávez luncheon speech, Gordon's letter to U.S. Attorney General Michael Mukasey asking for a Department of Justice inquiry into Joe, and Gordon's remarks during the State of the City address before the Phoenix Chamber of Commerce, wherein he blasted the sheriff for 40,000 felony warrants gathering dust in Joe's in-box.

Fronzo West, a.k.a. "The Fonz," shortly after being removed from Judge C. Steven McMurry's court.
Stephen Lemons
Fronzo West, a.k.a. "The Fonz," shortly after being removed from Judge C. Steven McMurry's court.

"Rounding up those people should be a priority," Fightin' Phil told the assembled chamber fatcats. "Instead, [the sheriff] has created a Sanctuary County for Felons with his reckless priorities that target brown skin and cracked tail lights instead of killers and drug dealers."

Our septuagenarian sheriff has been apoplectic, claiming Phil's lying about the 40,000 warrants and spitting like a mad mutt that he's not targeting the brown sections of the PHX. Sure ya ain't, Joe. In fact, this Daffy Duck figures you'll be going into tony Scottsdale any day now. After all, Joe might catch some illegal Canadians, Krauts, or Frogs drinkin' smoothies in the food court at Scottsdale's Fashion Square.

BTW, Joe, regarding those warrants and your bogus blarney asserting that you're responsible for only a small portion of 'em, you should take some time off from coloring your 'do with STP and read the description of your duties in the Arizona Revised Statutes, Title 11-441. It states, in part, that the sheriff shall:

"Serve process and notices in the manner prescribed by law and certify under the sheriff's hand upon the process or notices the manner and time of service, or if the sheriff fails to make service, the reasons for failure, and return them without delay."

As your eyesight's going, you may have to have your lackey, PIO Paul "Chicken Little" Chagolla, read it for you. Or maybe even David "Jabba the Hutt" Hendershott, if he can take time away from coordinating the deputies he's still sending down to Honduras on our dime.

But this dodo digresses. The reason The Bird wanted to meet with Da Mayor was to ask him why he decided to do what he's done, which is show the kind of intestinal fortitude that state pols such as Attorney General Terry Goddard and Governor Janet Napolitano lack. And no, this winged wordsmith doesn't count Nappy's wishy-washy statement on Channel 8's Horizon that the situation with the sheriff is "troublesome." Grow a sack, Nappy! Christ knows you might as well, considering that you amble around the ninth floor of the Executive Tower like a freakin' truck driver as it is.

"What led up to it," explained Gordon of his attack on Nickel Bag, "was the aggressive change in tactics from the sheriff, in terms of him making statements in press conferences and him enforcing his federal 287g power [which allows Arpaio to use ICE-trained deputies to implement U.S. immigration law]. Even if you think of the Pruitt's deal, it was a whole different type of operation.

"Then he started to escalate," continued Gordon, "targeting Hispanic neighborhoods and persons of lower socio-economic status. So that was on one hand. On the other hand, I was meeting with individuals who continued to relay stories of how they'd been stopped — American citizens and legal residents. It kept tugging at me."

One of Phil's staffers, a third generation Hispanic American whom he asked The Bird not to mention by name, had been harassed by a sheriff's deputy months ago, and was cited for making a turn on a road posted as closed, though Anglos in other cars simply were given warnings. Pastors and bishops in local churches told him of their parishioners being profiled or, in some instances, torn from their families and deported. But it was one visit to the Most Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Sunnyslope that really affected the city's top exec:

"About five or six individuals were there talking to me [about] a young kid who got pulled over and didn't have his driver's license. [Sheriff's deputies] stopped him in front of his house. They still took him to jail. There was a little girl there who was crying and afraid to go to school. So I determined it was time to do something."

Some idgits in the media, like radio retard Larry Gaydos of KTAR, think Phil's doing this as part of some political agenda. Would that be the political agenda that picks a fight with the biggest bully in town? Or maybe it's the political agenda dying to get investigated by the gorilla-esque goons of Sheriff Joe's Selective Enforcement Unit. So called 'cause they selectively enforce the law.

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Annalee Dozier
Annalee Dozier

Cops harassing a BLACK vetren for exercising his EARNED freedom of speech...

The sheriff of the state's largest county in bed with WHITE racists and Nazis, while enforcing Jim Crow laws against MEXICANS...

All the while the county and state is loosing MILLIONS in law suits and the state is going bankupt...but nobody can figure out why...

Gee this has to be a state full of GENIUSES!

Fed Up
Fed Up

The guv and Joke go way back. Matter of fact, during the guvs first run for office she spoke with Joke on a daily basis and went out of her way to make sure he could make all over her events. By the way, the guv also passed on prosecuting Joke back in the day when she was the US attorney. I guess mofos croaking in detention aren't

Big props to Phil. He deserves accolades considering he hasn't had any back up from any elected douche bags in this sorry excuse for a state. They just don't have the stones to stand up for what is right!

As for Crusty Childress, what a douche! He should be more concerned about his appearance. The guy has more craters on his face than the surface of the moon. No surprise he's hanging with nazi's - they're douches too.

Keep up the great work FB!


The Fonz rocks! I've seen him around, but I never really knew his deal. I love it! More power to him!

Newcomer rethinking relocating
Newcomer rethinking relocating

What a courageous piece on the state of the politicos in Arizona. As a newcomer deciding whether to buy a home and start a business here, this is valuable information on the current state of affairs. I'm packing up my marbles and leaving this creepy and scary county and state. Who wants to relive the McCarthy and Hitler eras? Unless things change immediately, this state is doomed!


A little latin lesson for ya, Fonz: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

That's a quote from Juvenal, which roughly translates to 'who watches the watchmen?'. It'd look pretty sharp going down a sleeve.

Keep on keepin' on, man!


IIRC, and I'm sure the New Times covered it, Fonz's 'welcome to Phoenix' was being arrested because the police said that his daughter was 'too white' to be his and he must have kidnapped her or something. The 'too white' girl was indeed his daughter.

Fonz's shirts are really works of art. I remember seeing them for sale in Tempe. Some of the images were absolutely grand.

Fonz has been a voice against police brutality in Phoenix for many years.

As for the Guv's wishy washy and determined attitude to NOT cross Sheriff Joke... He's Phoenix's own J. Edgar Hoover and he has probably let her know that he's got the sexual goods on her and if she speaks out against him, he'll orchestrate a leak of the information. I really think it is just that simple. But considering that this is her last term, it can only mean that she will be running for a higher office in the land and so she is playing nice with Joe because he has 'Hoovered' her into shutting up.


Go get-em Fonz....More power to you !


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