The Biggest Loser

Sixty-four to 35. 84 to 59. 63 to 28. These are all losing tallies that the Arena Football League’s Grand Rapids Rampage has suffered so far this season (some Arena teams rack up 28 points in one quarter). If these scores still don’t mean anything to you, let’s put it this way: When the Rampage loses, it loses its buttocks, crack, sphincter, and any other anatomy associated with the arse. But (hee hee hee . . . we really wanted to say “butt”), to be fair, the team does have some impressive wins this year. We hope the Rampage once again loses it against the Arizona Rattlers.
Sat., May 24, 7 p.m., 2008