Others accused Welch of trying to profit from his faith — ironic, considering he skipped a $3.7 million payday with Virgin. In comparison, his structured payment for a three-book deal with HarperCollins is a fraction of that: $250,000.

"I expect people to talk crap in any thing and any way about me," Welch says now. "I don't welcome it, but I expect it. There's a lot of angry people in the world. I know; I used be one." Welch also says he never called his former band satanic or demonic.

Just as the images of Welch in the Jordan River faded, new images surfaced of a bearded Welch smiling with tribal Indian natives and boa constrictors. Welch visited India and was so moved by the poverty that he wrote a check to have an orphanage built. The facility, Head Home, is run by a Christian humanitarian-aid group called Good News India.

Welch says he used meth all day, every day for two years.
Courtesy of Brian Welch
Welch says he used meth all day, every day for two years.
Korn’s triple-platinum-selling first album created a new genre: nu metal.
Korn’s triple-platinum-selling first album created a new genre: nu metal.

In retrospect, Welch knows he said and did some crazy things after his conversion — like talking about demons and publicizing his "Letter from God" to rapper 50 Cent.

"I was a brand-spankin'-new Christian, just off drugs. I was just out of my mind. Looking back, I wouldn't have made a big stink about it. I woulda been more low-key," Welch says. "It's okay, though. I forgive myself."

Apparently, his old bandmates are ready to forgive him, too. In an MTV interview last month, Davis said, "I really want him to come back, and I really want to see him and play with him again. I can't get a hold of him. Head was always just like that. He'd hide out. He'll come get us when he's ready. He'll find us."


Every morning, Jennea Welch's alarm clock goes off at 7. She crawls out from under her SpongeBob SquarePants comforter and gets ready for school on her own.

Welch's mountainside home is nice, but not extravagant. The 2,400-square-foot custom-built house has three bedrooms (one is used as Welch's office), high ceilings, and a gated driveway.

By the time Jennea is ready for the day, her dad's alarm sounds down the hall, at 7:30. Welch's dress code consists of variations on baggy pants and T-shirts. On this Tuesday in May, he sports black Dickies pants and a white T-shirt. A long wallet chain stretches across him, and he wears black socks with black Oakley sandals.

In the kitchen, Welch pours a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats cereal for Jennea and packs her a lunch with a homemade sandwich, an organic banana, and all-natural applesauce. "I don't like all the preservatives in the food at her school," Welch says.

Soon, Jennea piles into the backseat of Welch's late-model BMW 750i, and the two drive to school. In a sense, they're like best friends — Dad, in his low-rider seat up front, and Jennea, with her backpack and SpongeBob dodgeball, in the back. They've been together, almost constantly, for three years now.

"He's an excellent father. He knows just how to handle that little girl, how to talk to her," Maryellen Welch says.

Like she does every day, Jennea prays and asks Jesus to bless her day at school before she climbs out of the car.

After returning home to jog on his treadmill, Welch prays, too, for strength and love. Sometimes he prays for three hours at a time, reading his Bible and talking to God in an indecipherable language known as "speaking in tongues."

Welch is not a member of any church or denomination. He says his spirituality is simpler and less human than that. "I'm not a church type of person. I like to have a relationship with Christ every day. I have a Bible and read it myself. It says the Holy Spirit will teach you. I do meet with some ministries once a month that meet at hotels. It's not a denomination or traditional church, though. They teach experience with God. They teach you to go after God when you're alone at home. I'm not a religious, churchy guy."

Welch hasn't used illegal drugs in three years, but his addiction still dictates his days. He has to eat his meals at just the right times. If, for example, he eats dinner after 6, he'll awaken with his stomach in excruciating knots — one consequence from years of meth use.

The stomachaches aren't the only side effect. Welch, who says he's always been up or down emotionally, feels more down than up without meth. After the rush of media coverage stopped, Welch found himself born again, baptized, and three months clean.

Then he got depressed.

"I was yelling, 'What the fuck are you doing?' to God. It's scary, that I would yell that to God, but I did," Welch says of his lowest low — shortly after the move to Phoenix. (These days, when Welch quotes himself saying "fuck," he half-whispers the word.)

Welch even punched a few holes in the drywall during that time.

"He was telling me to give up everything, sell everything," Welch says, "So I did." He says he has an overall peace, even during the low times.

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31 comments
Whois
Whois

I saw an interview with Brian on mmlrock.com, definitely seems like a humble dude. I'm a fan.

AJ
AJ

Sweet action.

Jordo2020
Jordo2020

He says it in this interview he had everything cars, money, woman, 200,000 dollar pool and he was still miserable, what then?? Why not try the guy who created you?? The Holy Spirit is way more powerful then any drug you can come across. He does so many things in your life if you just let him. Just try and focus on your breathing and it will calm your mind , then ask God to speak to you talk to him and you will feel him. You have to be sincere

Sparklesprinkler
Sparklesprinkler

I don't believe that Jesus or God existed/exists BUT whatever works to get people off of drugs. The mind is a powerful tool and imagination is, as well. If one can use it to their advantage and get free from destructive habits, more power to them. In the least, his "coming to Jesus" will be a bridge to lead him over to a strong Brian Welch. The longer he maintains being sober, the more and more his pleasure sensors will come back. It's just the brain that has been habitualized into happiness from drugs. That goes away sooner or later. More power to you, Brian. If it harms none, do as thee will!

fedism
fedism

Jesus exists and he wants you to be saved through him. Dont ever believe he doesnt, His word is pure yet tainted by our thoughts. Coming to Jesus does make you a strong firm person rather than a weak and refined being. I urge you to read some new testament scriptures.

Pats_ark
Pats_ark

I read the book. I don't see where Brian is bashing J. Davis, nor KORN for that matter. Personally, J. Davis could benefit from having God in his life. Maybe Davis would be a happier man?!

Jared Rich
Jared Rich

All of you satanic worshipers are blind to the power, love, and glory of GOD. Everyone knows that a man with out LORD JESUS in there life, wouldn't have givin up millions of dollars just to prove that JESUS had come to him (Welch) and shown him the way. I know that half of you reading this are laughing, but I will tell you that one day Jesus will return (and soon)to destroy all those that mock God. I tell you this because I believe that the heavy metal genre is a tool for the devil to lead astray God's children. I ask of you today that when you've had enough of this sinful world, from the bottem of your heart ask Jesus to guide you through the hard times and I guarantee that if you mean it, He will reveal that He is the loving, all powerful GOD! Blessed be all who live in the word of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

Lmeadows93
Lmeadows93

God also told us to be humble to those. I dont believe he would have you bash those who said they don't believe in God. I'm a christian, and I hate saying it because of people liek you, calling others Satanic Worshipers. YOU are just like them, Jared Rich. You are no more greater or powerful or any more beloved to God then them. I think you're forgetting the biggest part God said. Love everyone. Do you know any of their stories? Who are you to call them mockeries, and condemers to hell. YOU are the ones driving others away from God, instead of bringing them. It sickens me.

monique
monique

Glad to hear he cleaned up his act for his daughter but find it funny that he felt it necessary to make his entire religious journey a publicly televised journey. Makes me think he was trying to make some future profit off of his enlightenment. I personally have no opinion on religion and believe if it works for you then good and if it doesn't then good. Just don't try to push your opinion either way on anyone else. But one tiny little issue I have is people who have lead morally challenging lives and think that asking for the Lords forgiveness is enough to wipe out all their wrong doing. One doesn�t need a bible or religion to know the difference between right or wrong, good or evil, moral or immoral. Unless you're a person that uses the bible as a crutch or thinks by not going to church you have a right to act immoral. We all know the drill�.Friday and Saturday night it�s time to get all crazy and Sunday wake up put on Sunday best, go to church and repent your sins. Blah�blah�blah�

Nicole Martinez
Nicole Martinez

Theres a difference. A relationship with Jesus is different thatn going to church in your Sundays Best. Christians NEVER claim to be perfect..its just the opposite we are claiming we NEED a savior. Jesus Christ , Gods son walked the earth, lived then died for our sin. He was raised from the grave, over 500 people saw him at one time, others also saw him and there are historical account of this. No other God is living except Jesus! Jesus told us HE is THE way, no one can come to His Father except thru Him. Instead of basing the most important decision you will make in Eternity based on opinions, really check it out. Take the time to read a Bible and pray for yourself. Im not saying this in an argumentative way at all, I just know I had said the same things you are and now I know the Truth. Seriously dont wait, really seek out Jesus and you will find Him. What do you have to lose?

The Nameless
The Nameless

All I can say on the topic of religion is the name of Head's song - DIE RELIGION DIE!!!

Regarding his music, some of the stuff is better than the last KoRn album XD

rodat6
rodat6

Better to find reality than Jesus, the first is real, the latter is make believe.

ahmed
ahmed

Nice job following ur heart decpite what ur friends and fans sayed about. I could have never done that. Im a huge korn fan and look forward to hearing ur album. Stay cool.

Brocklei
Brocklei

Great article.

Go easy on the boy Maynard, hes just a kid.

Ryan
Ryan

if you don't want to be exposed as ignorant or foolish when you open your mouth to speak or type words to broadcast, then this is extremely important.

1. Don't confuse faith and love and knowledge of God with the various institutions that claim to know and preach It's true Word.

2. Recognize the fact that, God aside, there are countless things that you have already "discovered" or "know" which you do not understand.

3. Recognizing that, consider the possibility that there is something so difficult to know, that it can only be glimpsed or discovered in a flash of sudden mental clarity.

(In the same way that many scientists, bodhisattvas, businessmen, etc. suddenly realize the solution to a problem which had hitherto baffled them. baffled them to a point of mental exhaustion. and only at the precise moment of psychological alignment are they able to see clearly that which, only a moment before, had so profoundly confounded them.)

4. The institution of a religion is not Religion itself.

5. The existence which inspires religious and philosophical minds all around the world, is not contained by any, single one.

6. If you are unhappy with the Church or Temple practices, don't take it out on God. These are humans making human mistakes and poor judgments.

7. An atheist zealot is fundamentally no different from a religious zealot. they're just sitting at the other end of the see-saw.

8. The two "see-saw zealots" reinforce each other. They complement each other. The existence of the one drives the other to further solidify their beliefs. "Look at the atheists... they look so lost." "Look at those crazy Jesus-freaks... they are out-of-their-minds."

9. If you are not thinking for your self and following your own heart... im sorry. This is perhaps the most scary thing that an individual can do. Who is capable of living their own life, walking their own authentic path? even if no one will else follow? or even if people will stand taunting from the sidelines of their own life as you walk yours?

10. Only the person with that kind of courage will discover the most precious and invaluable gems.

Finally... Cheers! I look forward to hearing the new tracks.

Don't get stuck in the muck.

Jae
Jae

it's cool the we got to hear his side of what was going on in his life. it's also great that he made a choice for the better for his life. i'm a huge korn fan, and glad that head as changed his ways for his daughter. there's always two sides of each story, and the media can make these out to be bad or good just to sell mags. i still listen to korn now, and this story hasn't changed my mind about the band. they still kick ass, and do what they had to do to go on. it's not our job as fans to choose sides, but just to except their choices. in this case, head knew that he was going down hill, and he had to do what he thought was right, for his health and life he was living. i'm a native american, and we see the one person in many different ways. we shouldn't say that on religion is better than the other, because in the end we're all praying to the same person. i'm glad that he got his act together, and is doing well. media loves to put words into people's mouths to sell mags, and in this case i'd rather hear it from the guys from the band. in most of the interviews i've seen, they are giving well wishes to head for his changes in life. thanks to head for all the kick ass music over the years, and continued success in what ever he puts his mind too. anything can happen, and he's proven that to his fans. thanks again! korn rocks!

Ishtar
Ishtar

I'm sorry you couldn't handle having millions while maintaining a family life, but don't blame Korn's dark themes. I've outgrown them but I still think this guy is a wuss for blaming everything on the lifestyle and not taking responsibility for his actions. He's not even taking responsibility now, he's just placing it on a magical invisible man. Might as well wait for the unicorns to come save you and carry you to heaven.

Thomas
Thomas

The Cross is a torture implement, murder should not be glamorized by the assention to the cross.christianity = harry potter with more blood and guts!It is a dangerous element of society masquerading as ceremony, while stirring hate and division.

Geoff
Geoff

The author of this article is a blatant liar! When interviewing Brian & us (I'm his brother) he claimed he was a christian and was "totally excited. This is awesome dude" about Brian's positive change and wanted to write about Brian's transformation. Most of the negative quotes by family & friends were taken from longer statements that were overall positive, however, he only used partial quotes in order to paint an ugly picture. He totally slanted this story with his opinion in order to make Brian appear to be an idiot and freak. This is why I've rarely responded to media requests for interviews. Now I truly know to take what the media says about celebrities with a grain of salt due to their 75% B.S. factor. What a shame that you didn't just display the facts of his life and let your readers judge him for themselves. Don't you believe they're intelligent enough? Lying @#*#!!!

N2c
N2c

hahaha your noones brother... you are lowly scum and are uncreditable to any realations whatsoever to Brian you sound like a 12 year old or a really messed up 20 year old... you have absolutly no purpose but to piss me and other people off you troll

TH
TH

God Bless You Brian and Jennea!!! God's Hand is upon you!My daughter and I are so touched & moved by your testimony! God worked thru the gift of my daughter as well, giving me strength to leave "babylon" and eternal JOY in relationshipship with Him. During her teen years, when things were rough - she was a huge Korn fan...I had to break/remove her Korn CD's from our home. She is 21 now, happily married to an amazing guy, whom I adore...and very excited about your testimony. There is a whole generation out there God will reach out to...God Bless you for your love & devotion and obedience to Him! There is MORE, yet MORE for you & Jennea! Praying for you & your family! Lifting you UP, and encouraging you to keep going in the things of God and ALL He has for you! You have good mentors in the Faith, I have seen you at meetings!God loves your humbleness before Him - like King David. Speaking health & blessing & Zoe over you - His wisdom,His favor,His discernment in you! The hope of Glory! God in you!He is Our Jehovah Nissi! Praises to God, and Jesus Our Redeemer!HEBREWS 6:18,19

Mattress
Mattress

I have been a Korn fan since 1994 when "shoots and Ladders" was their first radio promo. I have been a New Times reader since 1998. I met Korn at Tower Records on Mill Ave back in 1998 So I think I could consider myself an old-school fan.I thought the article on Head was great and answered alot of the questions the fans had been missing. The media didnt really do much for us but try and start a silly little war with Head and the remaining members. Im pretty disappointed with Johnathan though. Its one thing to bag on a guy for the car he drives, his fat girl-friend, or the lame-ass shift he works at Sonic. But to attack a man for trying to sober up and be a responsible Dad and his choice of whatever religion in my book is pretty fucking sad. Hopefully I will run into Head on the streets of Phoenix and thank him for the great years of music he helped to create...Good for you Brian!!!! Oh yeah, and you cashed that check didnt you Jonathan???

Shane Watson
Shane Watson

"The song starts with audio of someone vomiting into a toilet, followed by a flush and then a hammering metal riff that doesn't sound any more "Christian" than Korn."

What an ignorant statement. So, you can tell a Christian artist by the lack of gravity in their riffs? Really, now? While we're ignorantly pigeonholing, by all means, tell me what Buddhist rappers sound like. Oh, and what about Scientologist hybrid artists? Can you identify their sound on a record? For those missing the references, I'm talking about the Beastie Boys and Beck.

It will never cease to amaze me how people can continue to be so ignorant about Christian musicians. They're not all Amy Grant, you know? Educate yourselves. It's interesting how it's still somehow PC to be totally ignorant regarding Christians.

Again, educate yourselves on Christian artists. They're not all watered-down ripoffs of secular acts.

See: Stavesacre, Chevelle, Sufjan Stevens, Jeremy Enigk, Starflyer 59, Pedro The Lion, etc.

flores
flores

I thanked god when I first heard you left the band because I knew christian music was going to get bad ass and i always loved to hear korn growing up. Thank you for letting God to grow in you... Nothing beats the peace in side us

Lance Boyle
Lance Boyle

Now, screaming metal disco, THERE'S a genre waiting to explode!

Pamela
Pamela

Oh my what a beautiful story and a true showing of courage! We all need to take a lesson from this human being...Life is precious and taken for granted so much! We are only here one time and what are we going to leave behind? What are we doing to make a difference? Brian just made a difference in my life...Thank You! Pamela

Unborn Again
Unborn Again

Good move by Brian Welch. Korn may have sold a lot of records, but that doesn't mean they're good anymore than the fact that McDonald's has sold billions of burgers means that those burgers are good. Hopefully screaming metal goes the way of disco.

Father of a former Korn fan
Father of a former Korn fan

Jennea's comment that Brian got funnier after deciding to entrust his life to the Lord is testament to the fact that he is now more alive. Jesus told his followers that "I have come that you may have life and have it more abundantly". Brian is one of His followers now and he is experiencing a new and abundant life. Not abundance as in the perverse culture from whence he came (drugs, sex, money, possessions, notoriety, etc), but abundance in the here and now, just being alive and free from dependence on those "things" that never satisfied his thirst. No more chasing or buying things that do not bring peace and happiness! And as one who struggles with depression and who has struggled with addiction, I rejoice with you Brian!Godspeed on you journey of faith!

David
David

I disagree with the last comment. You are being led by the Holy Spirit, who does not lie and told you to stay away from church. I did the church thing for 12 years and it did nothing but get in the way of my faith.

I love the fact you use electric rather than acoustic guitars! Too much Christian rock music uses it, or if they do it sounds weak, tame and muffled. I can't wait to hear your music and believe me, there are more people on the "middle of the fence" in terms of being Christian yet not wanting to listen to filth, than you're being led to believe.

Father of a former Korn fan
Father of a former Korn fan

Jennea's comment that Brian got funnier after his conversion is spot on. It's an aspect of the reality that he is more alive, which is exactly what a life trusting in God is all about. "I come that you might have life and have it abundantly" is something that Jesus said to his disciples. Brian is now one of his disciples and experiencing abundant life. Not abundant life as in the perverse culture from whence he came (drugs, sex, money, possessions,notoriety, etc) but rather life in the here and now with no dependence on "things" to make him whole, happy or complete. It's obvious that none of those "things" ever did the trick anyway.Godspeed in your journey of faith, Brian! Now your life will have a greater and better influence than ever before possible!

Jason Thorn
Jason Thorn

Open letter to Brian Welch:What you've done is a brave and wonderful thing, and the fact that you have a better relationship with your daughter is very hopeful. You've done a lot of things right, and I'll be praying for you. I'm sorry about your bandmates in KORN that don't see what you've done, but they're still in that "smoke-filled room." The most you can do is pray for them.My only advice to you is to seek a church as you learn more about God. As you grow in God, you will need guidance, and a church that challenges you to grow and develop can only help you.God bless you in your endeavors.

 
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