Zep and I stick around 'til the night shift appears — and, lo and behold, it's Lauren from the good ol' days! We have a few good laughs and talk about who's married now, who has kids, who's in jail. I feel as though I've aged plenty — I'm fatter and more an asshole then ever. Zep is moving forward with his family and successful career, and Lauren is as sexy as the day we first met her, nearly a decade ago.

Details

Pig Points: Get this shit: condom machine!; cheap drinks; cool, sexy bartenders and good video games; old codgers getting smashed on shitty whiskey and beers; great old bar with pennies from heaven; original old register is on the wall across from the bar (cool); bathrooms have a new floor (I think it's Pebble Tec or something along those lines, like a spray-in bed liner.)

Pig Shit: no A/C (swamp cooler only); sports on the many, many TVs; the old naked lady oil painting is gone (I've got $500 to buy it if you know where it is).

480-545-9669

Think Booze Pig blows? Want to tip him? Write to »e-mail link.
Champions Sports Saloon, 211 North Gilbert Road, Gilbert

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It's time to go, and I can't shake the longing of wanting to be one of those pennies, just sitting — frozen in time, in a bar with drinks and laughs and unfinished dreams — as though a single day hadn't gone by.

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