As a working mom with a child with Down syndrome, Sarah Palin makes me shriek

My conservative friends are right. If I agreed with Sarah Palin's politics, I'd probably think that was all just fine (see Sarah Fenske's column in this issue).

But I don't share Palin's politics. And I've got my own daughters to think about.

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Sarah Palin

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Just because a candidate is a woman doesn't mean she's a woman's candidate. New Times columnist Sarah Fenske and Amy Silverman, her editor, were at each other's throats over Hillary Clinton — but that was nothing compared to the vitriol they've exchanged since John McCain picked Sarah Palin. Finally, Amy and Sarah agreed to disagree — and to share their two very different perspectives with readers.

Read Sarah's column here.

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More About

• Sarah Palin
• John McCain
• Diet Coke
• Learning and Developmental Disorders
• Down Syndrome

Yes, I'd love for them to have role models, to see women aspiring to the highest office, the best job, to do it all in heels and backwards and better than any man.

But I can't indulge in symbolism — not this week, anyway. I don't have time. The world's going to shit. The air here in Phoenix is so thick with pollution it hurts to breathe. The other day I took a sip of tap water that tasted so bad I spit it out. Later this week, I have to go to Sophie's public school to try to convince everyone from the principal on down that my kindergartner's safety is in jeopardy. She keeps escaping from the playground at recess. They say there's no money for a part-time aide. I get that. This year, budget cuts cost the school its full-time librarian.

And you expect me to rely on Sarah Palin, a woman who wants to ban books and teach creationism, and John McCain, a man who wants to ban government spending on almost everything but war, to help me take care of my kids?

I often joke that I'm closer to being a socialist than a social conservative, but actually, it's true. I do believe that government has a role in our lives, and more than ever since I had kids, particularly Sophie. I never had to navigate a government agency 'til Sophie was born, and let me tell you, there's room for improvement. There's never enough funding — that's a given — but worse, the whole system is so poorly managed you practically need a Ph.D. in public policy (or another parent who's already been though this, or a lawyer, or all three) to help you get services for your kid.

Just last month, I met a mother with a 6-year-old son with Down syndrome. He's pretty much never had any therapy at all; he's not speaking, he isn't potty trained. The mom gave up after someone told her there was a waiting list for services (not true) and several of her calls went unreturned. All you need to do is drive to the center of any large city in America and watch homeless schizophrenics push shopping carts to see the effects another social conservative — Ronald Reagan — had on another disenfranchised group, the country's mentally ill.

Maybe Sarah Palin means what she says, and she really will devote more resources to helping people with developmental disabilities. Right now, there's a heated debate on the Internet over whether she's cut funding in Alaska. Frankly, I don't see it as a good sign that there's any question at all.

Sophie's one of the smartest kids with Down syndrome her teachers have ever seen, but the reality is that she'll never be completely independent. And if something were to happen to me and my friends and family, Sophie would have to rely on the kindness of strangers — namely, the government. I don't know if Sarah Palin would create a safety net strong enough to catch Sophie, but I do know one area of my daughter's life (both my daughters' lives) that interests her greatly.

Reproductive rights.

It's the elephant in the middle of the room. I know, I know, if I were against abortion, like Sarah Palin, the woman would be my role model. I'd think she was one badass chick, and I'd want to go out drinking with her.

But I'm pro-choice. When the obstetrician told me I had a significantly higher chance of having a baby with Down syndrome (not just because I was 36, but because of what a blood test indicated) I called my husband and said, "What should we do? Should I have an amniocentesis?"

"Why would you do that?" he replied. "It's not like you'd get an abortion."

As soon as he said it, I knew it was true. That was my choice — our choice — to make. Now Sarah Palin wants to make it for me, and more important, she wants to make it for my daughters.

We won't be teaching abstinence-only at home (though my husband will surely tell both girls they can't date 'til they're 40!), so I don't expect Annabelle to get pregnant at 17. But if she does, the choice of what to do needs be our family's choice, not our government's.

When it comes to this topic, to be honest, I can barely bring myself to think of Sophie.

You should meet Sophie. She is one of the most engaging human beings I've ever encountered. I know everyone always says that about people with Down syndrome. But with this kid, it's true. Then again, I'm not so sure I want you to meet her. Not 'til you've had an FBI background check.

Just yesterday in Costco, she introduced herself to the woman in line behind us. "I'm Sophie!" she announced, eager to make a new friend. The grandmotherly woman smiled and nodded. Now, I know she's only 5, and believe me, we're trying to teach Sophie about Stranger Danger, but if you've ever been around a person with Down syndrome (or, at least, my little person with Down syndrome), you know there is a very real threat here.

What if — and I can hardly type the words — someday Sophie meets a bad man? Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion under any circumstance, including in the case of rape.

I am clearly not done shrieking.