I Spit on Your Grave

Golfland SunSplash, usually the second-happiest place on Earth, has reinvented itself for All Hallows with The Gauntlet, a 4,000-square-foot maze re-creating the bubonic plague of the 1300s. Horrifyingly, the Black Death left its 75 million victims with decaying flesh, dark, scabby spots all over their bodies, and inflamed lymph nodes. God, we just threw up our trick-or-treat practice candy.

As you hustle past the clawing, tormented souls, coughing and screaming in despair while they lunge at you, remember, there’s always Spooktacular Ghoulf, 18 mini-holes that feature not-so-scary black lights and pumpkins -- perfect for children, the timid, and those with heart conditions. Ring-ring. Bring out your dead!