By Lauren Wise
By New Times
By Amanda Savage
By Jason P. Woodbury
By Troy Farah
By New Times
By Derek Askey
Hey all, SWM looking for some fun and possibly a LTR. Figured I would come on here and try this, as recent career success has made me famous among 14-year-old girls, but I'm far too old for them.
I am a musician and I've been plugging away in various bands since 1989, finding my most success with this one band that loves colors and fancy words for their album names. I play guitar and sing in my band. I often sing about sweaters, garages, homies dissing my girl, lesbians, Japanese girls, Beverly Hills, and canned pork products. My songs seemed a lot more innocent and fun in my early career, but they later turned into long-winded, aimless tunes. My band used to appeal to just the cool kids who didn't listen to mainstream radio, but now we're constantly being played on mainstream rock radio alongside the likes of Daughtry and Plain White T's.
I was recently married and have a young child, but things have changed. It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor, shaking booty and making sweet love all the night, but I'm excited to get out there.
I attended Harvard University, where I recently graduated Phi Beta Kappa. Hopefully I can find someone out there who shares my passion for English literature. I also love soccer, specifically the MLS.
My band used to do fun tours with other really awesome bands, playing smaller clubs. Nowadays, we choose to play arenas, amphitheaters, and state fairs with young, hip Canadian bands whose street credit we are hoping to ruin. I thought Tokyo Police Club would actually be from Japan, but it turns out they are from Toronto. I was really hoping they would be able to help me meet some cool Japanese girls.
Girls tell me I have a real Woody Allen charm, so if you're in to that, we'd probably be a good fit. I am a vegetarian who also loves the show Happy Days. I used to wear glasses, usually horn-rimmed, but now I wear a bushy mustache and cowboy hat to help distance myself from my days of wearing a bowl cut and soccer jerseys. My current look baffles those closest to me, but I don't worry too much.
So if you're looking for someone with a steady job, someone who is Harvard-educated and who isn't concerned with looking hip and cool, then send an e-mail my way. Ideally, you'll be a big fan of my new music, shorter than me (5-foot-7), and Japanese. Hope to hear from you soon!