O Holy Crap

Call off the Christmas competition. The heck with mistletoe and holly. Kyle Jarrow’s impertinent, improbable A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant is coming to a theater stage near you.

The folks at Stray Cat Theatre (who else?) corralled a cast of children to portray figures from the controversial Church of Scientology in a program that wraps the actual teachings of the pseudo-religion around a traditional Nativity play. No, really. A cast made up entirely of grade schoolers will play Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley in a holiday show that retraces L. Ron Hubbard’s life as a sci-fi author-turned-New Age religious leader. The show’s billed as a comedy, but we’re wondering if it isn’t some kind of Christmastime prank. Another thing we’re wondering: Where’d director Gary Minyard find kids whose parents would allow them to portray Body Thetans in a show about a famous weirdo?