Walloping Janet Napolitano for Her Prop 102 Stance, The Word-Wrangling Wren Looks to Harvey Milk for Inspiration

BENEDICT NAPOLITANO

This nutty nightingale was tooling down the road the other day in his fabulous Thunderbird, scanning the FM dial, when the knob alighted on KJZZ 91.5-FM — you know, the NPR station. There, this warbler heard our soon-to-be-ex-Governor Janet Napolitano on the talk show Here and Now.

It was one of her regular visits to the program, to which folks either call or e-mail their questions for Arizona's top pol. One guy asked why Nappy had been so "passive" on Prop 102, the gay-marriage ban that Arizonans voted 56 percent to 44 percent to add to the state Constitution.

"No, no, I opposed it," insisted Janet, weakly. "I've opposed it on the grounds that we have a statute, the courts have upheld the statute, and that we shouldn't be amending the Constitution prophylactically. So, no, I was opposed to it, and said so publicly many times."

Why, this tweeter nearly spewed a mouthful of seed. Not only has that got to have been the first time Nappy's ever used a prophylactic in her entire life (and only as an adverb, if you get this gander's drift), her statement was also insidiously misleading.

Nappy emitted barely a peep during the election cycle about Prop 102, an egregiously obvious piece of gay-bashing tripe. And her slim case against it, as she laid it down briefly on Here and Now, sucked, too.

The fact that there was already a bigoted statute defining marriage as a union between a male and a female (and that it had been upheld by the appellate courts) was no great argument against the proposition, which sought to pour legal concrete over that definition. No wonder the governor never trumpeted her lame stance loudly.

Contrast Napolitano's position with that of California Governor Arnold Schwarz­enegger, who, despite having opposed gay marriage in the past, spoke out against Prop 8, California's gay-marriage ban, both before and after its passage by a narrow 52 to 48 percent.

Schwarzenegger compared the issue to a 1948 California Supreme Court ruling overturning a ban on blacks and whites marrying. And The Governator stated that he believed Prop 8 would be overturned by California's high court.

He also reassured the estimated 18,000 gay couples who had gotten married in California since June, after the court there ruled a ban on gay marriage unconstitutional, that the passage of Prop 8 would not affect the legal standing of their unions.

Finally, Ah-nold had some goofy but endearing words of hope for the gay community, which had just suffered a bitter defeat. He compared their struggle to his in his bodybuilding days. When he found a weight too heavy, he tried to lift it over and over, until he finally succeeded.

"I learned that you should never, ever give up," he told CNN reporter John King in the interview, saying of gays and lesbians, "They should never give up. They should be on it and on it until they get it done."

Schwarzenegger is a Republican, remember? Albeit, a California Republican. And the guy's about as heterosexual as you can get.

Napolitano, however, is nominally a Democrat — the party that's traditionally been friendly to gays. Napolitano's also widely regarded as a closeted lesbian, though she has denied being gay in the past.

In fact, this feathered fiend asked Nappy during a 2006 press conference whether her stance on gay marriage was hypocritical, considering the assumption by many that she's secretly gay.

She responded, "No, and I'm offended by that question." Offended? Why? Would there be anything wrong with being gay? Well, there might be something wrong with it if you were hiding it, while publicly opposing gay marriage, and saying that marriage should be only between a man and a woman, as Nappy opined previously.

If Napolitano's a lez, then she's the Benedict Arnold of gay America. But even if she isn't, she's a piss-poor excuse for a Democrat, and she has let gays down with her muted stance on what should be seen as a civil rights issue. If gay rights icon Harvey Milk were around, he'd probably land Nappy a heel right in her tush.

Of course, he might be landing one on Ah-nold's hiney, too. The California Governor vetoed a bill authorizing a Harvey Milk Day earlier this year. Nevertheless, Schwarzenegger's statements have made up for some of his previous errors in judgment. No one's perfect, but he's a damn sight better than Nappy's been on a similar proposition.

HARVEY KNEW BEST

Admittedly, this cock's got Harvey Milk on the brain, after seeing him portrayed so brilliantly by Sean Penn in Gus Van Sant's Oscar-bait flick Milk. Though The Bird had seen Robert Epstein's seminal 1984 documentary The Times of Harvey Milk, and had long ago read The Mayor of Castro Street, Randy Shilts' bio of the first openly gay man elected to public office, there were goosebumps on this clucker's wings as he watched Penn in the role.

From camera-store owner and community organizer to member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors (which is what San Fran calls its city council), and ultimately, martyr, Milk embodied the triumph of can-do idealism over the chicanery and cowardly compromise of everyday politics. Though Milk kept his homosexuality on the down-low for much of his existence, he eventually chucked his life of furtive gayness in NYC for the far freer lifestyle of an openly gay man in San Francisco.

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6 comments
Tired Of It
Tired Of It

Who gives a flying fuck whether you're gay or straight or whatever the hell you do in your bedroom?!?! SHUT UP!!! Stop parading, stop bitching, stop whining and just get on with your lives and keep your secual preferences to yourself. If you believe a certain sexual orientation is wrong or right, it's your opinion or belief and that's fine, but stop fucking announcing it all over the place. Shut up, both sides!!! QUIT THROWING IT IN MY FACE AND SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT WHERE YOU STICK YOURS OR PREFER TO HAVE IT STUCK!!! The world could give two shits about your sexual orientation, gay or straight. SHUT IT.

Tara
Tara

Maybe you should do your research before pointing to Annie Loyd as a Martyr or Community Organizer.

Richard Hertz
Richard Hertz

This writer is nutz! So Nap-zilla should be more gay in an anti-gay state? Can I have a hit off that bong? Must be some funky skunk weed in that pipe.

John MacDowell
John MacDowell

Its not bigoted to point out that the Mormon church was behind this measure. Its an anti-gay religion, just like Catholicism. And the Catholics wanted Prop 102 passed too. I do agree Janet is a hypocrite. Shes not as bad as J. Edgar Hoover, a gay man who persecuted gays. But its a similar scenario.

Dick Ryder
Dick Ryder

Chad, excellent retort! BAN THE BIGOTS, be they gay or be they not!

chadsnow
chadsnow

Bird,

Your obvious bigotry against Mormons exposes you as a hypocrite on this issue. Why do you specifically only mention the Mormon Church and not the DOZENS of other churches that active campaigned in favor of Prop 8? Is it because it is still acceptable to be openly hostile to Mormons?

Anti-same sex marriage laws had passed in 30 other states before Prop 8 and the Mormon Church had not gotten involved in any of those. We are just an easy target. I will say that I am a Mormon who voted AGAINST Prop 102 but I am really saddened by the gay community's display of closed minded bigotry against my religion. They are hypocrites, as are you on this issue.

 

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