Since the annual tradition of getting sloshed with people you can barely tolerate has been neutered by PC, lawsuit-fearing wimps, the Eastside Records Christmas Party goes balls out to save your soul. Remembering the real reason for the season, Californias Knights of the New Crusade, clad in medieval chainmail, drop the gospel like it's hot with some nimble, punk-tinged garage rock. Their stance as warriors for Jesus ("What part of 'Thou shalt not kill' do you not understand?") is almost as eyebrow-raising as their signing to Jello Biafra's Alternative Tentacles label. Whether the Knights blistering screeds against sin are sincere or tongue-in-cheek, the music is too much fun not to bang your head to. Thee Oh No's, Garage Shock, and George Moshington share the stage, while masked man DJ Horsepussy spins vintage seven-inch vinyl. 21-and-over.
Fri., Dec. 12, 8 p.m., 2008