"At the last state committee meeting, the leadership was trying to put on a good face," observed Eckerstrom, "and said, 'Look, we won these Corporation Commission races.' But the party didn't have much to do with those races. When that happened, a lot of people tuned out, they really got angry."
Eckerstrom and others suggested that Weeg and Bivens might be able to save themselves if they come up with an honest assessment of what went wrong in a year when the Dems had megabucks and mojo. Not everyone was as forgiving.
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Though not a precinct committeewoman, Linda Brown of the Arizona Advocacy Network was on hand and said many grassroots activists like her were pissed at the state Dems' eff-up.
"They lost ground in a year when the rest of the country was picking up all kinds of ground for progressives," she stated. "There ought to be heads rolling over that. There's absolutely no excuse for it."
Neither Bivens nor Weeg was present at the meeting. (At least, no one The Bird spoke to at the event saw them there.) Too bad. They would've gotten an earful. On the other hand, this might've been one of the reasons they weren't there.
FAKE UPS-ER
This feathered fiend rarely answers his front door. No point in tempting fate. There could be a Jehovah's Witness, a serial killer, or some neighborhood kid selling candy door-to-door out there.
But recently, The Bird was house-sitting for a relative when a knock at the front door caused this worm-wrangler to spy outside the window. There stood a UPS dood in the traditional brown shirt with trademarked gold logo. So The Bird figured he'd better open the door and accept delivery.
But this dood wasn't a UPS dood at all. He was a process server in the guise of a UPS dood. And he was there to hand The Bird's relation, Jennifer Melinda McClarty, a traffic ticket spawned by one of those dreaded Redflex enforcement cameras. This one, allegedly, was for speeding in Tempe.
After asking whether McClarty lived at the residence, and handing off the ticket to this tweeter, the phony UPS dood then hopped on a crotch rocket and sped away.
Damn, this dodo knew he should've looked for a UPS truck! This was a scam right out of Pineapple Express, in which schlubby thespian Seth Rogen plays a process server who dons disguises to serve scofflaws.
This pissed-off pelican immediately phoned UPS, and spoke to Chuck Martinez, the company's director of security for Arizona and New Mexico, who promised an investigation of the matter.
"We certainly do not condone any unauthorized use of our uniforms," Martinez told this magpie. "We keep tight controls on our uniforms, and it's very concerning to us that somebody would be out there representing themselves as a UPS driver."
The Bird then got on the horn with the City of Tempe, which referred him to Redflex spokeswoman Shoba Vaitheeswaran (try saying that three times fast). Vaitheeswaran said Redflex subcontracts out to local process servers to deliver tickets. In this case, the company in question was Mesa's AAA Photo Safety.
AAA Photo Safety attorney Denny Dobbins said the company subcontracts with independent process servers, such as the fake UPS guy. After looking into it, Dobbins explained that the server in question, whose name he wouldn't release, acquired the UPS shirt from a thrift store.
"We obviously don't tell people to wear those kinds of things, but he did," he admitted.
Though Dobbins insisted that AAA Photo Safety doesn't encourage process servers to dress as delivery people, he suggested, "If you wanna dress like someone who looks like a UPS server, don't wear the UPS emblem. But you can wear your brown pants or your brown shirt. [You could] dress like a painter or a maintenance guy. Or a Domino's Pizza guy [but], it would be better not to wear the Domino's emblem."
Nice ethics, counselor.
"There wouldn't be anything unfair [about it]," rationalized Dobbins. "Because there cannot be any damage that has occurred, at least to the person being served."
So if you've been flashed by a photo-enforcement camera and someone knocks on your door claiming to be UPS, delivering a candy-gram — or even that they're a freakin' land shark (like in the classic SNL sketch) — best keep that door shut.
