"Respectful of the sheriff?" blurted this blackbird, with a grin. "Why, The Bird always gives the sheriff the respect he deserves."

Within the sheriff's guarded perimeter, this feathered fiend tried to hold back the sarcasm, but when Joe started blathering on about how he really wanted to solve all these murders in the desert, and how "every life is precious," even if it belongs to a Mexican national executed behind a saguaro, The Bird felt as if his head was going to explode. So he asked the aged law dog why he'd been spending so much time pimping his retarded new reality show Smile . . . You're Under Arrest during a recent appearance on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. You know, instead of hunting for killers.

"The New Times wants to know why I went to the Conan O'Brien show," Arpaio announced. "I will tell you one thing [turning to The Bird], thank you for all the help with you having your people calling New York to try to boycott me appearing on the show . . . The protesters seem to be following me around every day, thanks to the New Times. There were a few protesters in New York. [And], by the way, [the show] paid for everything. I didn't pay a penny."

Arpaio was referring to a Feathered Bastard blog post, which announced the sheriff's appearance on the program, and asked ticked-off citizens to call NBC and do their impersonation of the Howard Beale character from the classic flick Network. You know, the guy who says, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

Apparently, it worked. O'Brien at least tried asking Joe a couple of serious questions, and ended up calling Arpaio's pilot for the Fox Reality show "a sign of the apocalypse." O'Brien noted that Arpaio had drawn the protesters at Rockefeller Center, where O'Brien's show is taped. And as you can see from Joe's comment above, the sheriff gives full credit to New Times for spoiling his big day on national TV.

Anytime, Joe.

At another point, as other journos seemed to overlook the obvious issue of racial profiling, The Bird hollered, "So do you plan to arrest any white people today, Joe?"

Arpaio looked back at The Bird cockeyed, a weird smile on his puss, pausing before gesturing to a black guy in cuffs nearby.

"I hate to tell ya — and ruin your day — I think we just arrested an African-American right over here."

"Yeah," screeched this mockingbird, "but that's not white, Joe. Don't you know the difference?"

Joe and The Bird's fellow Fourth Estaters fell into nonplussed silence. Only a nearby cameraman laughed out loud.

When Arpaio kept repeating his "every life is precious" line, this magpie inquired if the lives of his inmates were precious, too, like that of the recently murdered Robert Cotton, beaten to death in an Aryan Brotherhood hit. Or Juan Mendoza Farias, who may well have been asphyxiated by Joe's detention officers. To such queries, which The Bird offered up more than once, our corrupt top constable wouldn't comment.

After the press conference broke up, Joe held court with a few lingering reporters. Up close and personal, The Bird asked Arpaio if by expressing concern for the lives of Mexican nationals — and being sworn in recently by Jose Bello, a new American citizen and the father of two MCSO employees — the sheriff was attempting to rehabilitate his image with the Hispanic community.

At first, Arpaio said he didn't have to answer the question, considering its source. Then, reporter Valeria Fernandez of La Voz urged the sheriff to respond. Arpaio then, putting a hand on The Bird's wing, professed that he likes this avian.

As to the question. "I just got re-elected," he said. "If I had wanted to rehabilitate myself, I would have done it two or three months ago, before the election."

"But, Joe, folks tell us you're running for governor," quacked this mallard.

"I could've been governor . . ." he pshawed.

"You still could," snarked The Bird. "After all, you're still a spry 76."

Yikes, the governor's race is less than two years away, and what the hell else does Grandpa Munster have to do with his time? Solve murders?

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17 comments
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Dorf Moreman
Dorf Moreman

Prison and jail are for punishment, pure and simple. Joe gets re-elected because he doesn't coddle the criminals. Do the crime you do the time. If you want to pay more for better living conditions for inmates then put your money where your mouth is. Otherwise quit your bitching.Bring illegal aliens into your homes as more than servants and gardeners.

Camaro with a baby seat
Camaro with a baby seat

Doesn't illegal mean illegal? "Ciria Lopez-Pacheco, torn from her two children during Arpaio's latest sweep." ICE hold? Doesn't that mean she was here illegally? Your biased soporific newspaper represents only one extreme side of a complicated issue, while not providing any solutions. You are akin to Fox News, too biased to be believed by rational thinkers.

A Democrat that likes guns, is for a woman's right to choose, and is for border controls.

jamie
jamie

you think you have it bad, try living in f***ed up in the hills, JOES town! all you do is get pulled over and harrassed by the sheriffs dept. the young kids don't have a chance up here, it's so sad. we need are president to HELP us in this state. we need joe out of the sheriff's dept NOW!!! to many lives are being ruined by JOE!

GoodSoul
GoodSoul

The jack ass is out of control! People are killing people and I was arrested because my insurance lapsed!! Spent 36 hours in his cave downtown! I hated the bastard before that happened--his stupid cops are a joke. The only way we'll get away from him is to relocate. At least he won't be getting our tax dollars anymore!

mike wells
mike wells

"TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO

HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF

AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:"

There is only one reason why Joe gets elected: Snowbirds are allowed to vote. The Blue-Hairs come to Az from Minnesota and North Dakota and hear hoe Joe is "tough on crime", and they don't bother to do their homework. They are allowed to vote, and it screws the system up.

As for chuckles adopting his dog, $78 is more than I spent for my dog($60), and I got him from the Animal Shelter too, shots and all. Difference is that I got him BEFORE Joe took over.

If Az lets this numbnuts get elected governor, then they deserve what they get.

Circuit
Circuit

Why is no one stopping this man from waisting so much money? Why is are people in this state so darn stupid? Two days for 14 people? How much did this cost me and the rest of the tards supporting this yoyo? I am all for taking them down and shipping them off, but for the love of money do it in a cost effective way. I think this is the most backward state sometimes.

Jon
Jon

Hey John, why don't you just come out and say what you really mean; "The New Times hates white people and wants as many illegal aliens as possible to cross our borders." And yes, I realize that the New Times employs white people too. That doesn't mean they don't hate themselves. It's called self-loathing. It's caused by "white guilt" which is caused by most liberal arts universities, the majority of mainstream media and modern society in general. New Times along with the Arizona Republic (formerly the Arizona Republican) ,and most other worthless "news" papers, purposely fail to differentiate between LEGAL immigrants and ILLEGAL aliens. The first term describes a group of people who enter our country the legal way and generally tend to ASSIMILATE because they have worked hard to get here and are THANKFUL! The latter describes a group of CRIMINALS (by actual legal definition, not your arrogant opinion) who snuck into our country ILLEGALLY and generally tend to act as though they are entitled to welfare, free education, free medical care, a free place to live etc. This second group also tends not to learn our language or assimilate in any other way because they don't want to be Americans; they want to turn America into the country the came from (statistically the majority ,69%, are from Mexico). By the way, just from the way you spew venom and name-call in your writing, I can tell that you are a very bitter, angry person. Wow! And I thought "conservatives" were supposed to be the hateful ones.

Jon
Jon

Hey John, why don't you just come out and say what you really mean; "The New Times hates white people and wants as many illegal aliens as possible to cross our borders." And yes, I realize that the New Times employs white people too. That doesn't mean they don't hate themselves. It's called self-loathing. It's caused by "white guilt" which is caused by most liberal arts universities, the majority of mainstream media and modern society in general. New Times along with the Arizona Republic (formerly the Arizona Republican) ,and most other worthless "news" papers, purposely fail to differentiate between LEGAL immigrants and ILLEGAL aliens. The first term describes a group of people who enter our country the legal way and generally tend to ASSIMILATE because they have worked hard to get here and are THANKFUL! The latter describes a group of CRIMINALS (by actual legal definition, not your arrogant opinion) who snuck into our country ILLEGALLY and generally tend to act as though they are entitled to welfare, free education, free medical care, a free place to live etc. This second group also tends not to learn our language or assimilate in any other way because they don't want to be Americans; they want to turn America into the country the came from (statistically the majority ,69%, are from Mexico). By the way, just from the way you spew venom and name-call in your writing, I can tell that you are a very bitter, angry person. Wow! And I thought "conservatives" were supposed to be the hateful ones.

Jon
Jon

Hey John, why don't you just come out and say what you really mean; "The New Times hates white people and wants as many illegal aliens as possible to cross our borders." And yes, I realize that the New Times employs white people too. That doesn't mean they don't hate themselves. It's called self-loathing. It's caused by "white guilt" which is caused by most liberal arts universities, the majority of mainstream media and modern society in general. New Times along with the Arizona Republic (formerly the Arizona Republican) ,and most other worthless "news" papers, purposely fail to differentiate between LEGAL immigrants and ILLEGAL aliens. The first term describes a group of people who enter our country the legal way and generally tend to ASSIMILATE because they have worked hard to get here and are THANKFUL! The latter describes a group of CRIMINALS (by actual legal definition, not your arrogant opinion) who snuck into our country ILLEGALLY and generally tend to act as though they are entitled to welfare, free education, free medical care, a free place to live etc. This second group also tends not to learn our language or assimilate in any other way because they don't want to be Americans; they want to turn America into the country the came from (statistically the majority ,69%, are from Mexico). By the way, just from the way you spew venom and name-call in your writing, I can tell that you are a very bitter, angry person. Wow! And I thought "conservatives" were supposed to be the hateful ones.

proud mary
proud mary

heather or should I say Miss International publicitist.? you are nuts , where did you get your stats 83%---- better check again, using the phoenix new times wonderful paper to issue a press release of total bull shi*t ! Dog lover joe, the only animal that has anything to do with him(humans as well). dogs will figure him out .do you think heroic that he took inmates out of the prison and put dogs in the cells brought here from new orleans? No wonder these lst time offenders do not have the self esteem to go out and better themsselves .

heather
heather

Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!

Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.

The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.

The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78.

The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.

I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand.

He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.

Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote. Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all h is buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO

HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF

AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail': He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but 'G' movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination.

He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.

When asked why the weather channel He Replied, So They Will Know How Hot It's Gonna Be While They Are Working ON My Chain Gangs.

He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value.&n bsp;

When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This Isn't The Ritz/Carlton......If You Don't Like It, Don't Come Back.'

More On The Arizona Sheriff:

With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports: About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink Boxer Shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached138 Degrees Inside The Week Before.

Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS.

'It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,' Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear, But They Didn't Commit Any Cri mes, So Shut Your Mouths!

By the way, whatever happened to IMPARTIAL REPORTING OF FACTS as oposed to the opinioned unsubstantiated hate mongering.

Heather
Heather

Oh, there's MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!

Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.

The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who'd like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.

The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78.

The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.

I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand.

He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 - $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.

Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote. Now he's in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all h is buses and vehicles with a mural, that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn't doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border. He's kind of a 'Git-R Dun' kind of Sheriff.

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO

HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF

AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:

Sheriff Joe Arpaio (In Arizona ) who created the ' Tent City Jail': He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights Cut off all but 'G' movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then He Started Chain Gangs For Women So He Wouldn't Get Sued For Discrimination.

He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So He Hooked Up The Cable TV Again Only Let In The Disney Channel And The Weather Channel.

When asked why the weather channel He Replied, So They Will Know How Hot It's Gonna Be While They Are Working ON My Chain Gangs.

He Cut Off Coffee Since It Has Zero Nutritional Value.&n bsp;

When the inmates complained, he told them, 'This Isn't The Ritz/Carlton......If You Don't Like It, Don't Come Back.'

More On The Arizona Sheriff:

With Temperatures Being Even Hotter Than Usual In Phoenix (116 Degrees Just Set A New Record), the Associated Press Reports: About 2,000 Inmates Living In A Barbed-Wire-Surrounded Tent Encampment At The Maricopa County Jail Have Been Given Permission To Strip Down To Their Government-Issued Pink Boxer Shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached138 Degrees Inside The Week Before.

Many Were Also Swathed In Wet, Pink Towels As Sweat Collected On Their Chests And Dripped Down To Their PINK SOCKS.

'It Feels Like We Are In A Furnace,' Said James Zanzot, An Inmate Who Has Lived In The TENTS for 1 year. 'It's Inhumane.'

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: 'It's 120 Degrees In Iraq And Our Soldiers Are Living In Tents Too, And They Have To Wear Full Battle Gear, But They Didn't Commit Any Cri mes, So Shut Your Mouths!'

Maria
Maria

Again why did these people reelect Joe? I think i am just going to stop voting. Hell the first time i voted Bush Sr. got into office, the second time Bush Jr. got into office and Now the 3rd time i voted Arpio got back into office. The only thing that came out good of it was the Obama got into Office. Can Arpio be Fired? Impeached? Anything??? How do we get that Raciest Bastard out of office? How do we get a reall Sheriff? How do we get real Law enforcement?? *sigh* Im moving...I would rather pay higher taxes to a city and state that actually uses the money then to one who wastes it. Its all those Old Snow-Bird republicans who vote for him isnt it? And they move back afterwards so they dont have to deal with it.

Tom Hamlyn
Tom Hamlyn

The story of the woman being taken away by the MCSO in front of her children reminds me of another one a former employee told me about an episode in her childhood. She was raised in the good old days of communism in Hungary and was at a train station with her father when the secret police grabbed him, but left her alone an crying. Sounds to me like Sheriff Joe is using the same methods as the KGB!!!

dude
dude

"In a perverse twist on Toys for Tots, the deputy � who was also wearing a ski mask � offered the children small stuffed animals to calm them down."

I always found 'Toys for Tits' to be much more effective.

Convicted Corn Vendor
Convicted Corn Vendor

You can bet if the murder victims in the west valley were american citizens, something besides pulling people over for busted tail lights would be done to solve these murders.Like Joe always says: "I enforce all the laws" (that get him re-elected)

The Class West
The Class West

"The Bird has put in a public-records request to try to get its wings around how much this overblown stunt cost us all."

Wow - and we say that sarcastically. Don't think everyone on our side has green teeth and tattoos. You're sadly mistaken.

Public records requests are for punks (like you, fat boy) who are too stupid to do real legal work. We'll get our numbers when we put Phoenix prosecuters, cops, and judges on federal witness stands.

Now we also have the Broomfield federal ruling on our side. More ammunition.

Estimates:

Galleener malicious prosecution - $50,000Gaines - we'll see what happens on the 28thQuihuis malicious prosecution - $50,000"Anonymous -" jailed illegally on a civil judgment - millionsStoller - millions - four months false imprisonmentMcMann - unknown

and many more we haven't interviewed.

We have enough for another class action of those selectively prosecuted by Phoenix, with the above victims going in for the class.

Quit defending the Phoenix cops, too, especially with their recent "media events" staged when they're getting sued on multiple fronts for gross negligence.

Finally, if needed, routine motions/petitions will be filed with the presiding federal judge to prevent Phoenix from filing or pursuing shit charges in futile attempts to silence witnesses.

The Class West, Ray Medina

(203) 434-9329 - call our rep Bird - dare ya!

 
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