They completely failed to support their team back when going to a game might've warranted two applications of sunscreen and a couple of bottles of water, and now they're routinely out-cheered by opposing fans in their own cushy retractable-roof stadium.
When the Philadelphia Eagles took a one-point lead in the NFC Championship at University of Phoenix Stadium, before the Cardinals came back and won, the hugely outnumbered Philly contingent was deafening.
Jamie Peachey
Birdman
The former Birdman demonstrates a ferocious pose.
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In Arizona, "fan" hardly means "fanatic."
It would be unbelievable in a historic football city, but the Cards almost didn't sell out their first-round playoff game against the Atlanta Falcons, requiring an extension from the league to avoid a local TV blackout. This sort of thing hasn't gone unnoticed nationally.
At the beginning of the season, ESPN ranked every NFL team's fan base, and the Cardinal's came in dead last: 32nd. This season, things have changed on the field. Now, it's time for things to change in the stands and at the sports bars.
Cardinals fans need to step up, develop some toughness, lest our state be humiliated by the boisterous support enjoyed by our opponents, who — because of five Super Bowl victories — have a national fan base. The same ESPN article that named Cardinals fans the worst in the NFL put the Steelers at the very top. Rest assured, Steeler Nation is going to bring it.
Clayton Jacobson of Parker's is the kind of fan the Cards need. Born in Englewood, California, he adopted the Red Birds during their Tempe days and has been a season ticket-holder since.
"We have, I call it, a make-believe fan base," Jacobson says. "They don't really understand the power of the 12th man — they have no idea.
"I have a friend who's a Seattle Seahawks fan, and I took him to his first Cardinals game this year — when we played the Bills — and he converted to a Cardinals fan. He was like 'What's wrong with your fans, man?! The stadium's full, but no one knows how to yell. No one makes any noise. It's really weird.'
"He believes in the 12th man because he was up in Seattle and he's seen it actually happen, but the people here, they don't understand it yet."
Negativity's the problem, Jacobson says. Cardinals fans need to feel the mojo and expect to win. At the NFC Championship game, he was surrounded by fans who complained about the third-quarter collapse that could've given the Eagles the game. When he'd had enough of the complaining, he challenged another Cards fan to a fight.
"Cardinals fans were getting quieter, when they should've been getting louder. My thing was, hey, we're behind now. They really need us! But, no, not Cardinals fans," he says. "At the time, everybody in the end zone was sitting down. And this guy behind me's saying, 'Yep, I told you. I told you they are going to lose this game.'
"And that was it. I stood up, I turned around and I said, 'Look, pull your head out of your ass and root for our team! One more negative statement out of you and I'm going to kick your ass.'
"This guy goes, 'But they're playing shitty.' And I go, 'Look, dude, I don't think you heard me: I'm going to beat the living shit out of you if you have one more comment that's negative. If you don't have anything to say that's positive, don't say anything at all.'
"But, he continues to insist, 'They're playing shitty.' I say, 'Dude, you don't understand: I'm going to fucking kill you if you say one more negative thing.'"
Years of losing have taken their toll on the Arizona psyche, Jacobson knows, but it's time people get over it.
"Nobody wants to pull for a team and then have the a-hole guy next to them say, 'Ha ha ha, told you!' Like [Cardinals quarterback Kurt] Warner, you have to believe. And the Cardinals fans don't believe. I mean, they just don't believe."
They may not know how. Cards fans don't seem to know what to do when they actually try their hand at hooliganism. Take the two bozos who, police say, tried to vandalize the Chandler front yard of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb before the NFC Championship.
Rex Michael Perkins, 37, of Chandler, and Ryan Hanlon, 29, of Gilbert, were arrested on suspicion of criminal damage on January 18 after cops say they used diesel fuel to burn "Go Cards" and "Go Kurt" into McNabb's lawn. Police tracked them down when they found a cardboard sign at McNabb's house with a postage sticker bearing Perkins' address.
Leaving an address is an obvious rookie mistake, but what kind of pussy statement is "Go Kurt?" If you're going to harass McNabb, burn "Fuck Philly" and a big "81" (the number of McNabb enemy and former Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens) on the grass, then plop a "for sale" sign in the yard.
Boom, message sent. If you're going to risk arrest, make it count!
Last week, someone changed an electric road sign in Tempe to read "Go Steelers." Somebody had to see whoever did that in the act. Why wasn't the responsible party found beaten in a nearby alley? If a Cardinals fan pulled that stunt in Pittsburgh, you can bet he would be.