Commies need to seize the time, Webb explained, and use this newfangled thing called the Internet to expand their party, which currently numbers a few thousand. And he spoke to getting past the stigma the word "communist" has for so many Americans, though The Bird would suggest a radical name change might be necessary. You know, like the "Peace, Freedom and Poverty Brigade," or "Democrats on Steroids." New slogans could include, "Reds Are Better in Bed," "Khrushchev Was My Homeboy," and "Castro: It Ain't Just a District in San Fran."

After Webb's speech, this taloned terror pulled him aside and asked if he thought Obamarama wore red Speedos. As you might imagine, Webb disagrees with Glenn Beck on this one.

"Obama's not a Marxist. He's not a socialist," Webb, a genial gray-haired gent, said. "The right wing, they try to paint him with that brush. But I don't think a lot of people pay attention to it. I think the election demonstrated that."

Lefty talk-radio yenta Randi Rhodes jumps Nova M's waterlogged dinghy in the nick of time.
Lefty talk-radio yenta Randi Rhodes jumps Nova M's waterlogged dinghy in the nick of time.

But what about the fact that he and other Commies sure seem to be sweet on Obama. In fact, CPUSA's paper, People's Weekly World, has been running Obama on its front page almost as often as Time puts him on its cover.

"Like most Americans, we want the new administration to do well," Webb said. "And address the growing difficulties and problems. We don't want him to fail. We'd like for him to succeed."

So you heard it here first, folks: Commies heart Obama and give him their full support — but he ain't no Marxist. So don't worry about American kids being forced to read Chairman Mao's Little Red Book anytime soon — no matter what moon-howlers like Beck blather.

GOT WOODS?

Carson Daly or Jay Leno won't be breaking a sweat over this, but a little promo was e-mailed to The Bird announcing the launch of ex-Arizona Attorney General Grant Woods' "new interactive Website and online talk show," grantwoods.com.

What's next, Terry Goddard pimping himself as a centerfold for Cosmo? Jan Brewer in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition? Rick Romley doing play-by-play for the Phoenix Suns? (Well, that last one might be cool.)

On the other hand, the guy does have advertising from Budweiser, and boasts David Spade and alleged drunken blowjob-seeker Sir Charles Barkley as a couple of his first guests, thereby running through a lot of the Valley's celebrity quotient. But, wait, you can also get Grant's Oscar picks, find out what sort of underwear he's got on (if any), and discover what his fave viral videos are. Hey, where's the Twitter, so we can get updated on how Grant's morning ritual went?

Just kidding about the underwear (sorry, AARP ladies). For all of you under 30 who're saying, "Grant who?" right about now: No, he's not that guy who you learned about in college art history class who painted American Gothic, but close. Ask your 'rents about him if they're from Arizona.

One final quibble for the publicist who wrote his press release, which states that with this vanity site, Woods "returns to the airwaves with a brand-new version of his talk show." Sorry, but Web casts don't count as being on "the air." For that, you need a radio gig, which Grant apparently had back in caveman times.

Don't get The Bird wrong, Grant's cool — for a Republican. But acting one's age is even cooler. Capisce?

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9 comments
Pat Curley
Pat Curley

Farias used to make too much room in his broadcast for the Troofers but I see that seems to have fallen by the wayside recently. He did tick me off a few years ago by ignoring my offer to appear on Newcomb's show to debate Dylan Avery and Jason Bermas.

Drobny of course is a longtime "Truther" (as is, for that matter, Malloy, whose description in this piece is hilarious and spot-on).

BTW, I have also been sniping at Glenn Beck lately; not just the communist stuff but he's been buying into the complete Alex Jones cornucopia of FEMA death camps and one world currency. Did you see the show where he started crying recently? Priceless.

JC
JC

Amazingly, Randi Rhodes weasles out of another contract and this time succeeds in bringing down a network.

What company, in their right mind, would ever hire this woman again? Does she spend her evenings pouring through her contract looking for a way out? She's sounding more and more childish to me every day.

jmp
jmp

Having worked with Mike Newcomb in a previous radio life, I have to agree with you Bird: It is more entertaining watching paint dry. While he is a nice enough guy personally (and I do like him personally), he really needs to stick to medicine. As a true liberal believer, he makes a truly bad talk show host.

The incredibly simple reason that Air America (and now Nova M) has failed is that they believe that the message is the medium - if you have a compelling message, then you will succeed. In radio, that's simply not true. Radio is about entertainment, not enlightenment, and anyone (even conservatives) who think otherwise will not succeed.

And to the yammerhead who wants to cause Bruce Jacobs at KFYI problems, you simply don't get it. Again, it's ENTERTAINMENT, not enlightenment, and all you will end up doing is increasing his ratings. I've seen it happen time and time and time again. The BEST way to bolster ratings is to be a target of this kind of 'advertiser action', and to attempt to quiet someone's free speech. --- Good luck with that! Yammerhead.

ft1
ft1

We will be organizing an advertiser phone bank to protest the racist views and class warfare tactics of Bruce Jacobs on KFYI-AM in Phoenix.

We will contact that show's advertisers daily--perhaps multiple times per day--until Jacobs either desists or is terminated.

Bruce Jacobs is spreading hate, and we believe that he is inciting potential violence against disenfranchised citizens caught in these treacherous economic times.

All show advertisers will be contacted daily by phone, and an e-mail campaign may follow. We will also have volunteers to discuss the hate speech of Bruce Jacobs in front of advertiser's places of business on public property, and we will seek to speak directly to customers of the companies who choose to support the hate radio of Bruce Jacobs. We are choosing to go directly to advertisers rather than the wider media, as this isn't about promoting what is, in effect, a hate show on KFYI-AM. It is about cutting off monetary support from it, and we will be most tenacious in our strategy.

ft1
ft1

We will be organizing an advertiser phone bank to protest the racist views and class warfare tactics of Bruce Jacobs on KFYI-AM in Phoenix.

We will contact that show's advertisers daily--perhaps multiple times per day--until Jacobs either desists or is terminated.

Bruce Jacobs is spreading hate, and we believe that he is inciting potential violence against disenfranchised citizens caught in these treacherous economic times.

All show advertisers will be contacted daily by phone, and an e-mail campaign may follow. We will also have volunteers to discuss the hate speech of Bruce Jacobs in front of advertiser's places of business on public property, and we will seek to speak directly to customers of the companies who choose to support the hate radio of Bruce Jacobs. We are choosing to go directly to advertisers rather than the wider media, as this isn't about promoting what is, in effect, a hate show on KFYI-AM. It is about cutting off monetary support from it, and we will be most tenacious in our strategy.

rcmp vern
rcmp vern

"But the left in this country continues to prove that running a talk-radio station is beyond its capabilities."

Isn't this really a story about the Drobneys not being able to run a radio network?They created and screwed up Air America, and then the created and screwed up nova m.

There has been a notable absence of real Liberal money backing talk radio.No Oprah, no Soros, etc. The Drobneys might have made it if they had some serious backing.Their networks would have had an even better chance if they had been silent partners, with level-headed people who running the operations.

Emil Pulsifer
Emil Pulsifer

Fresh, independent, and entertaining are adjectives to describe Mr. Lemons. Who else would attend a CPUSA picnic and report on it, with the clever idea of seeing what "real commies" think about Obama? Brilliant.

Unfortunately, neither the fact that CPUSA seems to have a schoolgirl crush on Obama, nor the fact that they vouch for his capitalist bona fides, will reassure right-wing moon-howlers. Their theory would be that Obama is some sort of SECRET agent, boring from within, and that the reason he is venerated by an organization like CPUSA is precisely this.

The real problem with such theories -- aside from the fact that anyone who believes that the establishment would support the election of a socialist president (closet or otherwise) has no understanding of the fundamentals -- is that Obama has done absolutely nothing to validate them. Quite the contrary.

Indeed, left liberals -- those representing the progressive wing of the Democratic party as opposed to its leadership -- had long since concluded that the honeymoon was over. Instead of an ideologue (of any variety), Obama seems more and more to fit the description of a standard career politician: someone who regards promises and positions as expedient career tools, to be made and broken as required to move up the ladder and satisfy the rather staid Democratic Party leadership which support him.

Obama's steady (and continuing) move to the right has put him in the position of a center-left Democrat along the lines of Bill Clinton. Not that there is anything wrong with that, since (scandals aside) Clinton was a good president relative to Bush Sr., and Obama can say the same with respect to the Bush offspring. But his cabinet picks and evolving policy decisions leave a bad taste in the mouths of those proudly calling themselves liberal, much less those calling themselves socialist.

See, the point of boring from within is to put your people in influential leadership positions, else to win the support of existing leaders (secretly or openly). That is the way that organizations are subverted. But instead of aggressively appointing individuals with left-wing credentials or proclivities (who in turn would make their own hiring, firing, and reassignment decisions further down the chain of command), he has largely relied on The Usual Suspects. Even the mainstream newspapers have reported on the disappointment of liberals in such matters. And progressive news organs have gone further. Rolling Stone started what it called a "Whore Watch" to keep track of the issue:

"In Washington there are whores and there are whores, and then there is Tom Daschle. Tom Daschle would suck off a corpse for a cheeseburger...in picking Daschle � who as an adviser to the K Street law firm Alston and Bird has spent the last four years burning up the sheets with the nation's fattest insurance and pharmaceutical interests � Obama is essentially announcing that he has no intention of seriously reforming the health care industry."

http://www.rollingstone.com/bl...

Of course, in attempting to comprehend the hyperbole of right-wing moon-howlers (assuming of course their sincerity -- always dubious), it helps to understand where they are coming from (an ignorant and hysterical political extreme) and to deconstruct their (ab)use of language. For example, "liberal media" = media which fails to consistently demonstrate a conservative bias. "Socialist" = any Democrat to the left of Joe Lieberman. "Marxist" = anyone who once knew a former Marxist (e.g., ex-Weatherman Bill Ayers) and dealt civilly with him instead of running screaming in the opposite direction while calling for the intervention of the local constabulary). It's a bit like when a Holy Roller calls Britney Spears "satanic". Adherents of Anton LaVey are likely to be left scratching their heads in puzzlement.

Jim Treacher
Jim Treacher

"Commies heart Obama and give him their full support � but he ain't no Marxist."

Spoken like a true Alinskyite.

js
js

"a breakdown from all the radio STUFF" -- wtf?

"watching a 6-month pratfall" -- lol!

i missed jeff farias too. thank you, feathered friend, for hipping me to his new locale.

 
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