(The next day, Sanchez told me that two MCSO deputies went to his house after his appearance at the meeting to serve a warrant on someone who hadn't lived there in two years' time. Sanchez says he believes the MCSO just wanted him to know the deputies could come over whenever they please. This is a continuation of a pattern of harassment detailed in Village Voice Media Executive Editor Michael Lacey's March 19 story "Are Your Papers in Order?")
As for Arpaio, he gave 'em the can't-we-all-just-get-along spiel. He thanked the council for inviting him, even though the invitation had been extended only by Mayor Frankie Montiel, his flunky on the council. Arpaio made at stab at being civil, even slightly conciliatory. Well, at least for Joe.
Stephen Lemons
In fact, Joe's bullies in beige will rip a mom away from her crying tots, if need be.
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"Setting politics aside," Arpaio told the council from the podium. "I do understand I might not be the most popular sheriff in town. But we've been here many, many years in Guadalupe . . . In my heart, I cannot leave this town to the mercy of the criminals."
Mighty big of ol' Joe. Especially after he had the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors kill the town's law enforcement contract because ex-Mayor Rebecca Jimenez stood up to him last April. Only after newly installed Mayor Montiel kowtowed to Arpaio, begging him to come back, did Joe agree to have the contract reinstated.
I don't buy the idea that Montiel explored other options yet failed to find a replacement. Several of council members, including former Vice Mayor Roy Perez, have told me they felt other options were never fully explored.
Nor do I think Montiel will seek a replacement for the MCSO now, though the town's $1.2 million law-enforcement contract is set to expire in 2010. Montiel is a die-hard Arpaio supporter, having called the sheriff's 2008 sweep of his town "a good day for law enforcement," as he spoke to the Board of Supervisors last year.
During the council meeting, Montiel was obsequious to the point of making audience members nauseous, coming to Joe's defense, praising him for agreeing to talk to them, and interrupting other council members if they were critical of Joe.
Council members Lupita Avelar, Roy Perez, and Margie Garcia all had tough questions and comments for the sheriff. But it was Jimenez who drew the most blood.
"The optimist in me wants to believe that the olive branch you're extending is for real," Jimenez told Arpaio. "But the realist in me is believing that it's coming up on the one-year anniversary [of Arpaio's 2008 sweep], and now you're under federal investigation, and this is [putting] a positive light on you . . . What do you say to that?"
Joe was caught off-guard. He insisted that his visit to Guadalupe had been finalized long before the announcement of a Justice Department probe. He wallowed for a moment in fit of self-rationalization.
"I know how the federal government operates," stated Arpaio. "I've been saying for a year, come on down. [In] every newscast, [I say] bring the FBI down, bring the feds down. We have nothing to hide. I welcome the federal government. Think I'm concerned about it?"
That's good, Joe, because the DOJ did have an observer from L.A. present Thursday, paying close attention to the horse-and-pony show. Of course, maybe that explains why Joe was on his best behavior, thus proving council member Jimenez's point.
BIRD ALERT
Three guesses what's new about The Bird. C'mon, you just read the damn thing; can't you figure it out? Sheesh, am I Alex Trebek, here? Okay, I'll give it to you: It's no longer written in Bird-ese. The first-person singular makes its first appearance in my column — at least when not enclosed in quotes.
The column will still be called The Bird. And my blog will still be referred to as Feathered Bastard. Also, despite the absence of phrases like "taloned taliwacker," "winged wordsmith," "plumed penman," I will still be pooping on all those worthy of my excretions. However, I may have to fling them, monkey-style, instead of dropping them from on high.
Why, you may ask, am I ditching the wildly successful third-person conceit? Just time to change the game, folks. Switch things up a bit. Plus, the idiots I'm reaming in print are sometimes too moronic to grok insults issued in Bird language. And believe you me, I want them to understand every word.