Petting Zoo

You're single and want some action. However, when you bone down with a virtual stranger, it leaves you unsatisfied, paranoid about a crotch disease, and full of self-loathing about your hideous sluttiness. We say you're better off with a middle-school-style ravenous makeout. And we know the perfect place to snag it.

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• Jared Alan
• German Food and Cooking
• Food and Cooking

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It's called Cheap Thrills, and it's pretty much the hippest weekly dance party in town. Hosted by Jared Alan – our town's most beloved glutton for partying – the night always delivers killer music for rubbing clothed groins together, either on the dance floor or in one of the many hidden booths throughout the restaurant-turned-nightclub called Black Forest Mill German Restaurant & Bar.

Here’s an added bonus: The Saturday, June 27, edition is also Alan’s birthday, so expect the place to be especially hopping.