On Nothing Good Coming Out of California, plus Stupid Names

Why is it that ever since the U.S./California let you people immigrate, tunnel, weasel, or whatever into this country that nothing good has happened and/or come from it? California's welfare program is burdened with low-life Hispanics. The prison system is 70 percent Hispanic, 45 percent gang-based. Real estate values have dropped sharply, violence due to gangs is rampant, and to top it off, all you motherfuckers are somehow related. What — do you have Hispanic incest festivals? I mean, Jesus Christ, I'd like to go to one restaurant in Southern California and not see a shitload of beaners. Why the fuck can't you stay in that shit box of a country and leave the U.S. alone?
Fountain Valley Fucktard

Because it's a shit box, silly! Many wonderful things have happened in California and the United States since the Reconquista officially began in 1965, when the Immigration and Nationality Act made it easier for non-Europeans to invade our shores. The filling of lower-rung jobs by Mexican immigrants forced American citizens to find better jobs, spurring the digital revolution. Revenues have exploded across the United States in those 45 years — how do you think those welfare-taking Mexicans get their government queso? From plucking checks off of branches? And whither late-night talk-show hosts and their Mexican sidekicks? Spare me your causality arguments and get your stats correcto: Latinos make up 38 percent of California's prison population, and 40 percent of the federal level. Finally, want to visit restaurants with no Mexicans? Try Arby's.

Why do Mexicans make up stupid names? I'm not talking about indigenous names that sound different, but when you say them, they have a standard pronunciation. I'm concerned about names that are entirely made up, like with extra syllables that aren't linguistically logical. I'm also concerned about parents who name their children foreign names that they don't know how to spell. I've met tons of little Mexican boys named Giovanni, but their moms or dads spell it Giobani, Geovany, Jobany. These spellings aren't even phonetic in any particular language. This must be really embarrassing for them when they grow up. Also, I am sick of all the variations of Jazmin — Jasmin pronounced Yasmin, Yazmine, Yasmina, etc. Most of the time the J is pronounced like a Y when, in reality, the flower name Jazmin pronounced with the J from jalapeño is really beautiful. Was Disney's Aladdin really popular among Mexicans or something? I'm also sick of all the Mexican kids named "Bray — yan" because Brian is a stupid name, even in English. What happened to naming kids after saints? Did that go out of fashion with the rise of so many Mexican-targeted evangelical movements? I'm just worried that the children of this generation will suffer because no one will take them seriously.
Linguistically Loco

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People bastardizing names is a hallmark of the human experience: the Hebrew Yochanan is the root for John, Jean, Juan, João, Ivan, Johan, Jan, Evan, Giovanni, Hans, Sean, and many, many other variants. And Mexicans stateside don't use saints' names in Spanish because — as I repeat in this column ad nauseam — they assimilate. As the Mexican's old UCLA professor Edward Telles and his Department of Sociology colleague Vilma Ortiz showed in their 2008 book, Generations of Exclusion: Mexican Americans,­­ Assimilation and Race, the longer Mexicans live in this country, the more likely they'll bestow non-Spanish names on their children. No joke from me on this point — just basking at the satisfaction of stats proving the Know-Nothing nation wrong again. Give up, already, pendejos!

 
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3 comments
Danielle
Danielle

more..

Sorry, just wanted to add, I don't mind the Mexicans I can talk to. I just really hate the dis-respectful fucking cunts who think that they are too good for the laws that I have to live by. Anyone caught in America, unable to speak English and illegal..should be killed. At least the repeat offenders.

It is sickenly obvious they are bringing down our economy, I mean since Arpio's been getting them out, hmm, crimes dropping. Wonder why. Every article I read is about a Mexican, and only 2% are even remotely nice, without the mention of death or destruction somewhere. I just don't understand a majority of Mexican lack of care for anything. Someone who doesn't care can only bring problems.

Besides the fact that in our schools and entire class period is spent trying to teach a mexican english, leaving the rest of the class to suffer because of one fucking mex who couldn't speak english. No wonder we can't do anything about it, you're making us too stupid to figure out how.

Uughh.

Danielle
Danielle

How would going to Arby's help? They just took the jobs from the teenagers. You still have to look at them and listen to them and in general be around the people who make our lives harder.

I mean, the owner of %80 of the McDonalds in AZ said he would rather hire an illegal Mexican rather than a American teenager. He should in my opinion be put to death for treason, which in AZ is still hanging or death by firing squad. Now wouldn't that brighten things up. If only we did it to the illegals too.

Valerie
Valerie

Why is Brian a stupid name?

 
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