Only a handful of days remain until the end of the Naughties, which means it's time to look back on this massively madcap decade. And, frankly, it's been something of a downer. While sci-fi flicks promised rocket-powered cars and orgasmatrons by now, the past 10 years have wrought the quagmire of foreign wars, inept leaders, and some pretty whiny music. You've got one last chance to create a couple of outstanding memories before we put 2009 in the rearview mirror: New Year's Eve. As always, Auld Lang Syne offers a slew of swanky soirées and outrageous antics to engage in, especially here in the Valley. We've scoured the Internets and beat the streets in search of the biggest of the big-time bashes, as well as a few all-night parties and underground affairs taking place on Thursday, December 31 (unless otherwise specified).

SPECIAL EVENTS

Celebrity Theatre
440 N. 32nd St.
Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers welcome 2010 with a special New Year's Eve concert. 9 p.m. $40-$50. Call 602-267-1600.

Dodge Theatre
400 W. Washington St.
Joel McHale, host of The Soup, brings his stand-up comedy act to the Valley. 8 p.m. $27.50-$47.50. Visit www.livenation.com.

Fairmont Scottsdale
7575 E. Princess Dr., Scottsdale
The Stone Rose Lounge hosts the "Karma: It's Your Choice" soiree featuring beats by DJ Exclusive, a complimentary midnight champagne toast, and more. Special room rates are also available for $199 (which include two tickets to the party). 9 p.m. $50. E-mail stoneroseazevents@gerberbars.com to RSVP.

Insight Fiesta Bowl Block Party
Mill Avenue District, Tempe
The 2009 version of the event features performances by The Doobie Brothers and more than 30 local bands and acts, including Tramps and Thieves, Strange Family Circus, The Preserve, Surf Guitar Villains, 60 Degrees North, and Duct Tape Repairman. There's also freestyle motocross jumping, dueling pianos, magic shows, air guitar competitions, parades, pep rallies, food and drink vendors, the midnight countdown drop, a "Legends of Rock Lane" and a fireworks show. 4 p.m. to 12:15 a.m. $20. Call 480-350-0911.

Mondrian Scottsdale
7353 E. Indian School Rd., Scottsdale
This high-style New Year's fete offers live music by Rebel Jack, lingerie-clad models, DJ Design in the Red Bar, DJ Tricky T in the Midnight Room, Martini & Rossi champagne toast at midnight, $5 holiday martinis, a Viennese dessert bar with tempting cupcakes by Sprinkles, and more. Special room rates and packages are also available. 9 p.m., $45. Call 480-308-1100 or visit newyearseve.morganshotelgroup.com.

Sun Devil Stadium
500 E. Veterans Way, Tempe
The Minnesota Golden Gophers will face off against the Iowa State Cyclones during the annual Insight Bowl. 4 p.m. kick-off. $20-$80. Call 480-350-0900 or visit www.insightbowl.org.

Symphony Hall
225 E. Adams St.
Phoenix Symphony presents its annual New Year's Eve concert. 7 p.m. $26-$76. Call 602-495-1999.

Tempe Improv
930 E. University Dr., Tempe

Charlie Murphy will supply the laughs during a pair of New Year's Eve shows. $60 for the 7 p.m. show, and $65 for the 10 p.m. show. Call 480-921-9877.

Westgate City Center
9400 W. Maryland Ave., Glendale

Westgate Rocks New Year's Eve with live music from Metalhead and Rock Lobster, 2010 countdown, midnight weddings, and more. 7 p.m.; $10 in advance, $20 at the door, $30 for VIP access. Call 623-772-4000.

The Wrigley Mansion
2501 E. Telawa Trail
New Year's Eve party in Geordie's Lounge with music by Ivan Harshman, party favors, complimentary champagne toast at midnight. A regular dinner menu will also be offered from 5 to 10 p.m. $50 per person ($25 for dinner patrons). 8 p.m.-2 a.m. Call 602-955-4079.


RESTAURANTS

Aiello's
5202 N. Central Ave.
Regular à la carte menu will be available with a variety of specials and no forced prix fixe. Reservations requested. 4-11 p.m. Call 602-277-8700.

The Compound Grill
7000 E. Mayo Blvd.
Tea Leaf Green hosts a New Year's Bash featuring a champagne toast, drink specials, and hourly ticket and merchandise giveaways. 9 p.m. $45. Call 480-585-5483.

D'Arcy McGee's
2000 E. Rio Salado Prkwy., Tempe
New Year's Eve Dinner featuring a "Party Chef" menu from 5 to 10 p.m. (prices vary). A raucous celebration will also be offered, promising an appetizer buffet, champagne toast, and music by Modrockers. 9 p.m. $20 (or free for dinner guests). Call 480-557-9087.

Dubliner Irish Pub & Restaurant
3841 E. Thunderbird Rd.
Music by The Biffos, party favors, and a midnight toast. 9 p.m., $5. Call 602-867-0984.

Fuego Bistro
713 E. Palo Verde Dr.
Buffet, music by DJ Chazbill, and more. Reservations required. $29.95 per person. Call 602-277-1151.

Iguana Mack's Arizona Roadhouse
1371 N. Alma School Rd., Chandler
Playmate Mansion Party featuring DJs, dancing, and a midnight champagne toast. 4 p.m., $10 cover after 9 p.m. Call 480-899-6735.

The Keg Steakhouse & Bar
21001 N. Tatum Blvd.
In addition to a special New Year's Eve fixed-price menu, surf-and-turf dinners will be available for $39.95. 4 p.m. Call 480-419-7772.

Petite Maison
7216 E. Shoeman Lane, Scottsdale
This Old Town eatery offers a five-course classic French dinner with paired wines and all of the trimmings. 5 p.m. $85 per person ($25 extra for paired wine flights). Call 480-991-6887.


BARS & CLUBS

Axis/Radius
7340 E. Indian Plaza, Scottsdale
Space Odyssey 2010 party featuring laser light shows, breakdancers, go-go girls, and DJs. 9 p.m.; $28 for singles, $48 for couples (or $38 for a three-club pass providing access to Myst and Suede). Call 480-970-1112.

Blooze Bar
12014 N. 32nd St.
New Year's Eve Bash featuring no cover, complimentary champagne toast, music by Terashain, and more. 9 p.m. Call 602-788-4574.

Clubhouse Music Venue
1320 E. Broadway Rd., Tempe
Euphoria Entertainment's 18-and-over New Year's soiree featuring DJ Elements spinning Bollywood and other Indo-Pakistani dance jams. 8 p.m. $15 for students, $18 general admission. See www.azindia.com.

Crabby Don's
3861 E. Baseline Rd., Gilbert
Music by Adventure Jukebox, 80-D, and The Meat Department. 8 p.m. Call 480-558-7540 for cover.

Cream Stereo Lounge
4252 N. Drinkwater Blvd., Scottsdale
New Year's Eve Masquerade Ball featuring an outdoor party pavilion, live circus acts, bubble-bath shows, midnight champagne toast, and more. The soundtrack will be provided by Turner & Heit, DJ Aaron Taylor, and DJ Decipha. 8 p.m. $20 general admission, $30 for VIP access. Visit www.wanttickets.com.

Donna Jean's Libations
6676 W. Bell Rd., Glendale
Music by No Coast, RAC, and Tell Me About the Rabbits. 9 p.m. $3. Call 623-979-7036.

Goat Head Saloon
1423 S. Country Club Dr., Mesa
San Diego's Cash'd Out performs. 8 p.m. $14. Call 480-464-8030.

Graham's Central Station
7850 S. Priest Dr., Tempe
Champagne, DJs, and dancing in four different rooms, $1.25 you-call-its and no cover until 8 p.m., midnight balloon drop, and more. 6 p.m. Call 480-496-0799.

Hollywood Alley
2610 W. Baseline Rd., Mesa
Vil Vodka's Insane New Year's Party with Grave Danger, Robot Tank, The Cosmeticators, Janitors of Anarchy, and DJ Johnny Volume. 8 p.m., $5. Call 480-820-7117.

Hurricane Bay
4139 W. Bell Rd.
Busted at the Bay Bailout Bash, offering $2,000 in cash and prizes, cheap drinks, beats by DJ Knicknack, complimentary midnight champagne toast, party favors, and other surprises. 7 p.m., $20. Call 602-843-6100.

Ice House Tavern
3855 E. Thomas Rd.
Music from Quarter Inch Crown, Fatigo, and Sweetbleeders. 10 p.m. Call 602-244-1179.

Joe's Grotto
13825 N. 32nd St.
New Year's party with Tattooed Soul, featuring free food, party favors, champagne toast, and more. 8 p.m., $10. Call 602-992-1007.

Marc's Sports Grill & Nightlife
4494 W. Peoria Ave., Glendale
New Year's Eve Bash with karaoke in the MarcTini Lounge, DJs and dancing, party favors and noisemakers, shot specials, and a balloon drop and champagne toast at midnight. 9 p.m. $5. Call 623-842-1053.

Martini Ranch
7295 E. Stetson Dr., Scottsdale
Rock Lobster, Halo Machine, and Green Ears will perform at this New Years Eve fete. 8 p.m., $10. Call 480-970-0500.

Myst
7340 E. Shoeman Ln., Scottsdale
Dionysian-style 2010 B.C. with complimentary cocktails, champagne and hors d'oeuvres from 9 to 10 p.m., DJs, and more. 9 p.m. The club re-opens at 4 a.m. for the after-hours "Mystified Sunrise" party. $28 for singles, $48 for couples (or $38 for a three-club pass providing access to Axis/Radius and Suede). Call 480-970-5000.

O'Kelley's Sports Bar & Grill

2120 W. Guadalupe Rd., Mesa
Music by Rock Addix, drink specials, and a midnight champagne toast. 9:30 p.m. Call 480-756-6069.

PHX Nightclub
122 E. Washington St.
Upscale Entertainment's New Year's Eve Bash featuring an open bar until 9 p.m., two-for-one drinks until 10 p.m., complimentary hors d'oeuvres, midnight toast and balloon drop, specials on Hennessy Black, and the turntable trio of DJs Robby Rob, Illmatic, and Kaydee in the mix. 8 p.m. $15 pre-sale, $50-$700 for VIP access (which include champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries, express entry, and more). Call 602-373-0600.

Pranksters Too
7919 E. Thomas Rd.
Rockin' New Year's Eve party in the Jester Room with Hans Olson, champagne toast, and more. 8 p.m. Call 480-990-1114.

Pussycat Lounge
4426 N. Saddlebag Trail, Scottsdale Dance and debauch long after last call at the Afterglow 2010 after-hours party, which lasts until noon on New Year's Day and features an aerial bondage performance, laser and black light ultraviolet paint shows, exotic dancers, and more. The wheels of steel will be worked by such DJs as Tranzit, Turner & Heit, R`Mani, Beatnick, and Class Act. 4 a.m. Call 480-481-3100 for cover.

Rainbow Cactus
15615 N. Cave Creek Rd.
New Years Eve party featuring a drag show, dancing, drink specials, party favors, and more. 9 p.m. Call 602-971-1086.

Rhythm Room
1019 E. Indian School Rd. New Year's Eve party with The Fremonts, midnight champagne toast, party favors, and more. 8 p.m. $15. Call 602-265-4842.

Shady's
2701 E. Indian School Rd.
New Year's Eve celebration featuring a complimentary champagne toast at midnight. Open until 2 a.m. Call 602-956-8998.

Skeptical Chymist
15688 N. Pima Rd. New Year's Eve party featuring dinner and beverage packages, music from The Brazen Heads, midnight champagne toast, and more. 8 p.m., $75. Call 480-609-8677.

Suede
7333 E. Indian Plaza, Scottsdale
Bubble and Bottles celebration with music from DJ Nameless, complimentary Champagne Toast, and more. 8 p.m., $18 (or $38 for a three-club pass providing access to Myst and Axis/Radius). Call 480-970-6969.

TT Roadhouse
2915 N. 68th St., Scottsdale
Party favors, free champagne toast, and more. Open until 2 a.m. Call 480-947-8723.

27th Avenue Bar & Grill
2038 N. 27th Ave.
DJ Moy and DJ Jared Paul, drink specials, and more. Call 602-272-3146.

The Vig
4041 N. 40th St.
Chic New Year's celebration with DJ JonnY Rogers. Drink specials, champagne toast, party favors, and two "Vig Rigs" providing rides home. 9 p.m. Call 602-553-7227.

The Well
2623 N. Scottsdale Rd., Scottsdale
1-cent drinks all night, and more. 9 p.m. $30 for singles, $50 for couples. Call 480-423-7087.

Yucca Tap Room
29 W. Southern Ave., Tempe
Champagne toast, party favors, and rock by The Love Me Nots, Scorpion vs. Tarantula, and Labor Party. 9 p.m. Call 480-967-4777.

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