Why Your Cocktail Waitress Hates You

Written in the voice of a truly horrible waitress.  One who is always worried about her tips, calculating what they should be when she should be focusing on her customers.  Some people will stiff you.  Deal with it.  If you provide professional service, without regard to how you think they will tip, or how they have tipped in the past, your tips will take care of themselves.   Trust me, there are at least as many crappy waitresses as there are crappy customers, and very often they end up getting tipped 20% just because it's expected, so it goes both ways.  If you don't like your career choice, get another. 

From a waitress in NYC: if you have had 6 glasses of champagne, $15 each - $6 is not a standard tip - on a $90 tab. You've occupied my table for 2 hours, please tip at least 15%.

YESSSS, I could not have said this better myself. I was a cocktail waitress for 10 years. Fabulous money but so not worth the drama nor the Hell I received. Props to the girl who wrote this.

Omg....u have just described Thursday nights @ my restaurant.....to a T !!!!! Hopefully some of the aholes will read ur post...thanks 4 sharing.

Wow! Im glaf im not the only waitress with these issues. Of course, having wotked in the servise industrt for over 20 years...there isnt any amount of rudeness coming from the general public that would suprise me. I was married for 17 of those years and though my husband did well i chose to make my own money. Its shocking how many people think that because you are a waitress, they have the right to catagorize you or label you as uneducated or simply white trash. One might do well to remember the saying, "You cant judge a book by its cove."

1.) Just because someone is a cocktail waitress really doesn't mean they aren't smart. A lot are working their ways through college, some have realized they would rather not work 80 hours a week and instead work 40 hours or less and make in some cases just as much as an average 40 hour a week "real" job person. 2.) These are just a few of the types of people cocktail waitress run into, not EVERYBODY is horrible. There are a lot of people I remember are great customers and I love to interact with them more than just bringing them a drink or food. It's like dealing with a friend who is just so socially awkward when you go out with them, you roll your eyes at them, leave them or apologize for them.3.) Ha! Yeah we do flirt with your husbands. No, not all of us wear reavealing clothing. I wear a crew cut t-shirt and jeans. Sometimes in the summer, I bust out some shorts or a jean skirt that are finger-tip length. However, a good cocktailer knows you make everyone at the table feel good and to have a good time, that means every women at the table is prettier and smarter than you. It's how women react to other women and how men react to a cute cocktail waitress... my motto is if it's a single couple or a few couples at a table, you make the men think you want them, but their girl is way better us, oh and look she looks awesome tonight! DUh, we are there to make as much money as possible. Don't you try to make as much money at your job too?4.) Finally, five minutes is a huge deal! we might have another table coming in we need to get to a greet, order their drinks, their food, get someone else's food, clean a table so someone else can come in, fill toilet paper or paper towels, mop up a spill, sweep up a broken glass before the girl who takes off her too high of heels steps on it, that's just a short list...But again, there really are great customers out there, just don't be an ass, and we can make your time at our bar great!

The service industry is a tough industry. At times it's fun. But at other times, people are anything but at their best.

Yes, please, treat us like you want to be treated. And try and cut us a little slack.

I love this... To you angry restaurant/bar patrons that have never worked in the service industry, think about why you never got into it. I'm sure you applied to a restaurant at one point in your life and didn't get the job; know why? Probably because you're rude, selfish, and likely do not have the personality... Aka FRIENDLY.

We know when you're not going to tip well, especially you bitter women that aren't as pretty as the server/bartender. You have no idea what ingredients can be "added" to your order based on your attitude so assholes.... You can enjoy those dump bucket contents, on the rocks.

Seriously people get your heads out of your asses... those of you complaining, have you ever worked as a server? We have to put up with your shit day in and out. We bring you what you order thats it, we aren't your servant! And yes you are tipping us but really we get NO other wages do you really think that we don't have anything better to do then listen to you bitch? Most of us are in or just recently getting out of school. Yes there are bad apples in every bunch but don't take it out on the rest of us. Simply treat us how you want to be treated. And word for the wise you prisses don't fuck with people who handle your food and drinks!

I have one question - If you are so damned smart, why do you choose to work as a cocktail waitress. I would suggest you guys really know how to work people to your advantage. You hit on women's husbands, you show a little or a lot of skin to get more money, you pretty much do whatever to make the buck. It is like any joke that is in bad taste, there is sadly usually some truth to it. Often you do act like a whore.

Why we hate our cocktail waitresses#1 Tricky McPlastic. Well, you need to tell us because that system is so counter intuitive we won't know if you don't. We did think we were paying cash but then decided to order more, should we not spend more money at your establishment because the change of mind might cost you 5 minutes? Seriously? #2 Then acknowledge us the first time we make eye contact. At least to say hang on a minute. You may be perfectly nice but the bartender we had last time left us waiting 30 minutes so we aren't sure how close we need to get to get service.#3 Then stand there long enough to hear the entire order. I know you are in a hurry but it's kind of hard to tell you what my friend wants when you get drink number one and take off like you are being chased by a wild rhino. #4 huh? I mean just huh? #5 Then return the favor. Stop flirting with my husband. He's not in charge of your tip. I am. If you have to flirt, flirt with me it will get you further. And trust me, smiling is not the behavior to which I refer!#6 Again, return the favor- keep your hand off my shoulder and don't sit down with us like you know us.

You can't have both the Table Captain rule and the Miss Mute rule. Ms. Mute is trying to keep from both of us answering at once per the table captain rule. Make up your mind, do we talk at once or do we not?

Stalkers: We stalk because that's whom we got good service from last time. We tip well, but we want the service too. Look at it this way, it could be the old days where we bring our help with us.

Oh, and to all this I would add, stop bullshitting me. I'm not ordering a single drink I haven't had before, I know what they look like so stop trying to convince me that 7&7 is a Walk Me Down. Seriously.

It seems like the author is trying to drive home the point of "deal with it or get out." However, the author needs to listen to her own advice as the people she is complaining about are PAYING HER and it's her responsibility to cater to those who are making sure she keeps her livelyhood, regardless of the amount of respect they give her.

It is a job, and you deal with the bullshit because you are making one of the highest wages for an entry level position.

As for sexism, being a cocktail waitress is sexist. It is an antiquated profession centered around the ideal image of a woman. Not every girl has the body for your chosen profession, you snobby, hypocrite bitch.

I can only assume you are spoiled rotten and the fact that you aren't being treated with the utmost, shoelicking respect shocks you. You attempt to identify yourself as a witty person ("LOOK EVERYONE, I'M FLUENT IN FRENCH!) But this article leads me to belive that you're not smart enough to understand one simple truth; that in order to find satisfaction, you have to wade through a lot of misery.

I thought this was an informative and funny article, unlike some of the others in this series of articles which were too often bitter, insulting, and generally came off as spoiled brats who throw tantrums whenever their mommies won't buy them a toy in the store.

I've worked in the service industry and I definitely understand things like rude customers, being stiffed on tips, and people who don't know what they want.. but some servers/pizza deliver boys/etc. need to understand not to let their hatred build up too much, because at a certain level, the customer will get the "vibe" that you don't like them.

Therefore, less or no tip.

I don't get all these nasty responses. I'm a server too, and I'll go to work in a great mood and leave in a terrible mood because of the amount of disrespect that I have to deal with. For the record, Sarah has every right to complain because we servers are stepped on at least once during every shift. Also, I'm a female and I will always direct my questions a the customer who's willing to make eye contact and acknowledge my existence, whether they're male or female. 90% of the time, it just happens to be the male. Great post Sarah. Everyone else should do this job for a month and rethink their responses. Lastly, there's no reason anyone should be offended unless you know yourself that you are a dick or a bad tipper. I go out to eat all the time and did not see any problems with her post because I am confident that I'm neither.

As the daughter of a former bartender, I emphasize but there were a lot of unfair judgments and assumptions in the article. Case in point, I often leave bigger tips precisely because my parent worked in the service industry. Also, I sometimes unintentionally ignore servers when they ask a question relating to my step-daughter because he's the higher authority in her care. If servers don't want antiquated gender roles directed at them, they should treat customers with the same courtesy. Also, did you ever consider Ms. Mute might just be shy or suffer anxiety. I used to be nervous about ordering for myself whether the server was male or female, and I certainly didn't think they were hitting on my boyfriends. I was just shy.

Guess what. You work in a service industry. Which means those customers who you bitch about interfering with your job ARE your job. You're not doing anything I can't do myself (and have done - I get my own damn drinks from the bar if the waitstaff gives me your kind of attitude). Or I just leave. Treat me with the same respect you expect, and we'll have no problem. Oh, and BTW, if you try kicking me, you'll be in jail for assault quicker than you can offer up an insincere apology.

this will make me sound cheap, but i fucking hate it when they demand a tip. i always leave 20-25 percent tip on checks, but when its demanded, expect for me to go out of my way and find a penny so i can give it to you upside-down.

Aside from the inappropriate touching (which totally sucks and no one should get away from that) why all the bitching? Did you expect to be treated with the same respect as someone who's endured 4 years of university and then another 3-4 years of post grad whose now working as a ceo? I'm sorry, it's not the client for the most part that's making your life, it's your job! If you were a garbage woman, you'd have to deal with smelly garbage, if you were a gardener, you're gunna get shit on by a bird or two eventually... So I'm sorry that your job sucks, but why not, like the rest of us, find a way to get a job that doesn't suck?

I have been cocktail waitressing at nightclubs for awhile now, and stumbled across this article...... I must say, very, very true! Love it.

1. Being a waitress is an incredibly hard, stressful, and often thankless job. People can be more obnoxious and thoughtless than you would ever imagine. And drunk people are just consistently annoying when you're sober.

2. It is a bit trying when servers go all semi-elitist with vaguely arcane rules that wouldn't be apparent to anyone who doesn't work in restaurants. If your beef is not being treated like a professional, you've got to act like one. Can you imagine your doctor, dentist, or chiropractor griping behind your back about what a sucky patient you are for reasons you never knew existed?

I have to say that I feel for cocktail servers. It's a hard job dealing with drunken idiots all night, not to mention all the cheap asses that come into bars and don't tip. I cringe whenever I go out with a few select friends of mine and my husbands; there are 2 that sit and drink countless glasses of water (ONLY), 1 that drinks iced tea, and 1 that downs soda like it's going out of style. They keep our poor server running ragged all night for these either free or $1, all you can drink, drinks. I have tried to explain to them that they should still tip. They look at me with absolutely confused glares, and state "Why? I'm drinking WATER". I try to explain to them that it takes just as much time and effort for her to get said free drink as it does a cocktail. They retort with, "Well, I don't have any money". Sheesh. Stay home, then, I think. I just want to slink under the table whenever this motley crue orders these stupid drinks...my husband and I usually feel so badly that we choose to either buy a round (or two) for the table, or we tip very heavily to make up for these idiots. But it just plain sucks. Bottom line is this: If you don't have the money to buy drinks and/or tip appropriately, STAY HOME.

@Emailblank: Reality check: People like you are spoiled, classist, and sexist. If you "don't like" it, then don't come into a bar. Treat people like people, and not like "essentially slave laborers." If you, (and others) did, then this article wouldn't be nearly as inflamatory as it seems to have been.

Reality check: Waitresses are essentially slave laborers, who exist solely to bring us a drink from the bar. We don't care what you "like" or "don't like", just make the drink happen and disappear.

>See, I'm allotted money at the beginning of the night with which I buy drinks from the bar, getting reimbursed by you.

Sounds like a management issue not a customer issue. Your boss needs to figure out a better system.