How Frankie Muniz's Girlfriend Elycia Marie Became My Internet Nemesis

You know the kid from Malcolm in the Middle? That's Frankie Muniz. After the show went off the air, he moved to Scottsdale to get away from all that Hollywood zaniness and be near his girlfriend's family. Her name is Elycia Marie. Actually, it's Elycia Turnbow, but no one calls her that. She's a Twitter tour de force who bills herself as a publicist for an agency called InXcess. She helps Frankie plan and publicize the various disparate endeavors that pass for his "career" while the 24-year-old spends his residuals and tries to figure out what to do with his life.

Elycia's agency, InXcess, doesn't seem to exist in any tangible way outside her Facebook employment info, which lists as its clients Frankie Muniz (he's still considering acting), along with You Hang Up (Frankie's fledgling band), InXcess Racing (Frankie is tooling around the minor-league racing circuits), and a Glendale water-filter seller named Krystal Klor (they did not return an e-mail).

Tweetgazette.com, the blog of record for Twitter-related news, describes her as such: "She's a publicist for a firm whose only clients are her boyfriend, her boyfriend's band, and her boyfriend's racing company. She kind of sounds like the character 'E' on Entourage."

Here's the really weird part: Somehow, she's become my Internet nemesis. Crazy, I know. I understand that no one gets to pick his nemesis, but I'm still sort of awed by how fate conspired to pit a music editor at an alternative-weekly newspaper and a wanna-be publicist/girlfriend of an aging child actor against each other. Yet it has.

The thing is, it wasn't supposed to be like this. I just wanted to pen a funny, interesting, and mostly sympathetic story about why Malcolm — er, Frankie — wanted to play drums in a Phoenix band. Honestly, it was a bit of a puff piece. Things went horribly awry. Within months, she was calling me "a gap-toothed, double-chinned, blubbery whale" and posting an unflattering picture of me as her Twitter background. Weird, right?

The whole thing began with a press release from the guys in You Hang Up, a local band who'd been toiled in obscurity before a friend of a friend hooked them up with Muniz. They met and he agreed to join the group. The next day, I got an e-mail announcing that he'd joined — before they'd even heard him play drums in person. It was an obvious ploy to cash in on the dwindling fame of a former child actor, and I jumped on it.

Our correspondence began friendly-like. After I got that press release from the YHU guys, I messaged Elycia, a local Twitter celebrity, to say I wanted to work on a feature about Frankie. He and I talked and made plans to meet up. Frankie even called me back to ask advice on booking an appropriate venue for his first show, and I gave it to him.

Things might have turned out fine had another New Times staffer not publicized that show with a vaguely condescending blog post. I got an angry call from Frankie, with Elycia screaming in the background. We worked it out, but she passive-aggressively tweeted: "AZ friends . . . who does the music reviews/stories for AZ Republic/AZ Central?"

Whatevs. I explained to Frankie that I would simply cover the show, as I would any other band's show, and do a feature down the line, with or without his cooperation. He said he was cool with that.

You Hang Up outfoxed me, however, "canceling" its first show at the last minute. Then, without telling anyone outside a close-knit circle of sycophants and admirers, the band scheduled a new show for the same weekend. Honestly, it wasn't the worst idea ever. As Malcolm — er, Frankie — had told me, he'd never played his drums onstage before. Still, it wasn't the sort of thing I could let pass without comment.

So, on our blog, I chastised You Hang Up for that little stunt, mocking the questions an interviewer from Popeater.com asked Frankie the day before:

Interviewer's question: "Were you leery You Hang Up might've just been drooling at the prospect of 'Agent Cody Banks: The Drummer'?"

Frankie's response: "Nah, I could tell. After 10 years in show business, I can tell when people are really excited because I was on TV. These guys were super-cool. They could tell I just like playing drums. I've never felt like they wanted me 'cause I was on TV or in movies."

My analysis of that exchange: "I don't know if Frankie thinks other bands send out e-mails informing the media that they have a new drummer, but it was a first for me. Methinks these dudes are aware of the potential his starpower brings, but it's nice they're keeping it cool."

That post, for the first and only time, drew a tweet from Frankie himself: "Dear Martin Cizmar, good luck with your blogging career. Since when is a death in a band members family not a valid excuse for canceling?"

Was there actually a death in the family? I e-mailed one of the other dudes in the band, who had been very helpful until that point, and got no response.

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61 comments
Oakleys
Oakleys

HT2TFJWHBHQN I like it very much!

mark
mark

Cute couple.

swatch watch
swatch watch

met this girl at the long beach grand prix, I had no idea who she was, she had no idea who i was. I was with my friend she was with her's. This girl is the exact opposite as you portray her to be, she was friendly and down to earth. @uneedtonyrobbinscd

Molly
Molly

I really liked this piece. That girl needs to grow up.

Amy
Amy

I thought she looked much older than him. I think he deserves a nicer woman who truly loves him and will make a family with him.

Guest2
Guest2

crazy couple! 10 years! couger! "I just want her to stop hitting me in the face"- Frankie Muniz

Blake
Blake

She looks hot, I'd nail it!

Guest
Guest

Elycia Marie Turnbow is a smelly s-l-u-t and a desperate attention seeker. Why don't you just ignore her?

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Phil_ebarb
Phil_ebarb

wow you are really bitter. what's the deal with that? just wondering why everyone on the phoenixnewtimes blogstaff is so bitchy. It's just that I mean sometimes people expect adults to act like you know adults, and it doesn't really happen here. If you hate You Hang Up and some girl so much find something real to write about. Internet journalism can be a great tool, but not when the people doing it are great big tools.

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Michael Quintana
Michael Quintana

Very interesting to see this story, coupled with this woman's performance these last couple days I can say as far as media is concerned in Phoenix Frankie Muniz and his "lady" (if you could even call her that) are finished. Blacklisted is an understatement.

TattyTalia
TattyTalia

I had a similar experience with this little Twit, Elycia Marie. She's a drama queen extreme that needs a reality check to the face. She posted numerous pictures from my myspace and proceeded to fling numerous insluts via comments on the YHU blog posts about my physical apperance.

I'm a DJ with 106.7FM KWSS, an independent alternative station, and someone who could have helped her. Instead her immaturity got the better of her.

If Mr.Muniz is really looking to flourish in the music scene in phoenix, he may want to re-consider his choice of publicists. He should learn now and should have learned already, you don't mix business with your woman.

Ali G
Ali G

Poor lil frankie muniz, no one gives a turd about you and your band. Has anyone seen frankie lately?? he somehow shrank, he cant be taller than 4'11, and I question his actual age, because that boy is just about bald, and its an ugly road downhill for him if he's only 24.

david saint
david saint

lol, Frankly (no pun intended), who cares, his girl is kinda hot though...ill be her "nemisis"...ahahaa

Pathetic
Pathetic

Maybe this story will help Elisha grow up -she's always been a loser and a leach, looks like some things never change. Picking a fight ON THE INTERNET? Arguing online is like the special olympics - no one ever wins and when its over youre still retarded!!

azgorilla
azgorilla

The whole thing is weird. Sounds like Malcom's chick just got blasted. Love the preop photo. Daaaaaammmmn you was busted.

Suzy Q
Suzy Q

Omg I follow this girl on Twitter ONLY because her tweets are so ridiculous that my friends and I make fun of them, u also need to follow some of her minions, corbin, etc. they are insanely delusional its amazing

ButReally
ButReally

So this article was sent to me, after reading it I laughed a bit but wondering who cares about this girl who is a no one?

Then I read the comments.. and if one more personal refers to that 5'2 G List Celebrity as a "celeb" I will hang myself. Is Arizona so sad that we think those two are actually someone? Im pretty sure if they walked in front of a line at the W, they would have him wait with the rest of the civilians.. and in LA they probably wouldn't let them in. Lets just be honest here and not kiss each others asses like this is AFM?

Dr. Ray
Dr. Ray

That might be the worst nose job I've ever seen......looks like its about 2 slide right off her face Too bad she couldnt do nething about those freaky eyebrows

Dick Balzdiep
Dick Balzdiep

Martin Cizmar, Frankie Muniz and Elycia Marie forever entangled. Everyone gets what they deserve!By the way, I'd do her! Ummmmmm, wait, I already did! She was that forgettable.

Gloria Allred
Gloria Allred

Frankie Muniz = Gary Coleman. This bitch = Gary Coleman's wife. Think about it.

Me
Me

Everyone knows that Frankie Muniz has a TINY dick! But this girl still likes him, LOL!

Whattttt
Whattttt

Cizmar at an all time low. What a joke!

Anna
Anna

Sorry, are we not recognizing the ABSURDITY with this entire story? This is apparently a mid-30's professional woman who claims to work in public relations picking public fights with reporters akin to what a middle schooler would do? Don't PR people EXIST to make nice with media professionals? I could care less about Cizmar and his lame column, and the New Times no less, but SOMEONE, somewhere feels like he is a legitimate journalist and the fact that this Elycia is hurtling erroneous personal insults at the poor guy is off the charts ridiculous. Regardless of which, I can't believe I just spent 10 minutes reading blather about Frankie Muniz!!

Lollllll
Lollllll

So funny that Martin and said PR psycho are stalking a gf of a celebrity. Take is as the ultimate compliment, Elycia Marie.

Dear Fail
Dear Fail

Dear Fail, no reputable newspaper staffer would ever write a comment on this for the NEW TIMES no less. I call bull shit on that comment. Nice try though.

So Obvious
So Obvious

He is obviously just trying to get traffic to this site by capitolizing on google searches for Frankie Muniz and You Hang Up. From the looks of it he needs the help. Nice of Frankie and the band and Elycia to give him something interesting to write about so that he can hopefully save his pathetic job. I remember when this site use to be worth coming to, to learn about actual band news and shows. Not its a smut mag. Thats dissapointing.

Your Retarded
Your Retarded

So out of all the articles you've written about You Hang Up (I think I found 5 or 6), the one that sent things awry happens to be the ONE article on them you didn't write? Someone else decided to jump in and move in on your obsession and write just this one? That's funny because it reads a lot like your other shit "journalism". You didn't even have the balls to put your name on it because you knew it was shit and you'd be exposed as the dumbass you are. Give readers some credit. Your not half as clever as you seem to think you are. I hope NewTimes does let you keep writing. Because I'm sure they are endlessly entertained laughing at the retard they gave a keyboard and an Internet connection to. Every office needs a Dwight.

Fail
Fail

So, the only 2 negative comments pointed toward Elycia Marie were written by your "source.". And the 20+ other commenters are in complete disbelief that you are obsessing over this girl? WOW, I'd say this was a "fail". Not that any of your other articles have been a "win".

After all your extensive research, you were able to dig up that Elycia Marie and Frankie Muniz pose exactly how every other star is asked to at a movie premiere? Have you ever been to a Hollywood Red Carpet? Obviously not. And WHAT?????? They moved to "FAR NORTH SCOTTSDALE"?? Nooooooooo!!! Say it ain't! so! OMG?!!....Frankie Muniz tips 20ish% and not in 100 dollar bills?? Lock him up!

Like everyone else, all I can do is laugh. & pray that these kids can keep a binocular-wearing Martin Cizmar out of their trees.

I work at a local newspaper as well. Stories like this unravel fast. Everyone talks. You and Elycia Marie's "frenemy" are the joke of our office this week.

AzTrain
AzTrain

Ok after reading this articale 3 things are more then clear. Martin is Jelous of Frankie Muniz. Martin fights like a girl. Last but not least Martin is far from a professional anything.Dude get a life, you brooke a promise, got your feelings hurt,talked smack, and got delt with. Grow up a little, nobody cares about your feelings. Readers come here to learn about bands and music not about your narcissism.

Jo
Jo

Martin, I read Up On The Sun faithfully. I also follow you on Twitter. While I think this Elycia person is utterly ridiculous -- seriously -- I also think you're being slightly hypocritical. You engage in more Twitter brawls than anyone I follow. Hurst, Wyman, the guys at Modern Art, hell, you even attack young student journalists at ASU! Cut the drama down and maybe we can all take you a little more seriously. Maybe then the hits on your site will be from people looking for quality music journalism, not the latest Cizmar drama.

Creepy
Creepy

Wow Martin. You are officially the worst writer in the world. I hope all the New Times' advertisers decide to spend their money advertising somewhere else after reading all the horrible stories you write. How are you so afraid of Frankie Muniz's girlfriend? Are you serious? All because she posted a picture of you on her twitter? I urge Malcolm and his girl to get a restraining order against you.. Im scared for them. Please FIRE MARTIN CIZMAR!

This is great
This is great

So this martin cizmar dude got his feelings so hurt by this girls tweets that he pulled a full on investigation on this chick? And then writes about it in the music section of new times? What a douchebag. A creepy douchebag. As we speak hes likely staring at a shrine of her and cutting himself.

Yo
Yo

Great, another has been actor and a skanky starfucker.

Only in a craphole like Scottsdale.

dabomb
dabomb

Martin is simply seems to be a very insecure writer and person. Yah, Frankie Muniz is still an elfie looking little creature whose child actership has sailed away so obviously Elycia Marie is not with him for his good looks or personallity, but is what happens now a days, get over it. Im seeing if his gf is an actual "publicist " and OMG the Krystal Klor website looks the EXAXT same as Aquaclear website was. If this is the same "Elycia Turnbow" who worked in the office there, her mom and dad own this too..

Dave Brookhouser
Dave Brookhouser

Jesus Christ Martin, you sure do have a thick skin (and clearly your subjects don't). I mean the comments/attacks on you seem endless. I guess you must be doing something right.

newtard
newtard

See that is the problem with Twitter. People now think what they think or say is somehow important.

Hilarious
Hilarious

From the sounds of your own blog, you started it. Why was it stupid for her to battle back? You are the only one worthy of such behavior? Why because New Times gave you access to share your worthless opinion online (why New Times? Why?)? Talk about entitlement. A retard could see through your "clever" attemts to "slander without slandering". I think its hilarious that your so shoked that someone stood up to a "professional journalist". If your end goal was to make them even more famous while making yourself look insecure and inexperienced, congratulations, it worked.

Adios, idiots
Adios, idiots

I hate this whole stupid thing. What an intelligence insulter, thing includes the writer, some commenters and whoever thought this was something that should go in a music section. I am done with the New Times.

Jenna
Jenna

The girl is gorgeous, well liked and so pleasant. This Martin guy is trying gain some type of journalist celebrity from writing about Elycia. When did the music section turn into Page Six?

Phil_ebarb
Phil_ebarb

Hahahahaha. The timeless guy in his mom's basement saying no one cares about a celeb. Classic.

 
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