Ask A Mexican On Playing for the Wrong Team and Douches

I'm a civil rights lawyer. I sue the San Diego Minutemen. Whenever the Minutemen are accused of being racist they always say something like, "I'm part-Hispanic," or they'll note that some of their members are Mexican. This last claim is actually true. Some of the most zealous Minutemen are actually Mexican Americans. I'm 100 percent Irish. I don't understand why the Mexican members of the Minutemen can associate themselves with a group that is so obviously racist. Can you explain?
Mick Who Likes Spics

Gracias for legally sparring with the vilest section of the Minuteman movement, but you gotta give us Mexis some credit. Just like micks became some of the most racist, corrupt pogue mahones in America, Mexicans can also hate their recently arrived brethren — it's called assimilation, and it's inevitable in this country for even the dumbest mojado. And just like micks can be stupid, so can Mexicans. For instance, a recent Arizona State University study showed that 81 percent of registered Latino voters in the Copper State oppose its anti-immigrant SB 1070 bill — the overwhelming majority of la raza, but that still leaves 19 percent of Arizonan wabs supporting a measure that would have them kicked across the Sonoran Desert in a heartbeat. You'll have to ask each of those voters to explain their irrationality, but I'm happy that they exist — shows the Know-Nothings that Mexicans don't just reside in one political prism and are actually, you know, human. As for the Know-Nothings trotting out tokens or claiming they can't possibly be racist because they're "Hispanic" (quick aside: ever notice how racists can never bring themselves to utter "Latino" when lamely trying to pass themselves off as moderate?): it's both an appeal to authority and appeal to sympathy, logical fallacies that only the dumbest pendejos use. Like the San Diego Minutemen!

The supermarket in my predominantly Mexican neighborhood has an astonishingly large inventory of douches on the shelves of the personal-care aisle. It's easily 10 times the stock of what the market carries in a more-Anglo neighborhood a couple of miles away. What gives with the douche fixation?
La Gringa

Tú sabes — backward, warped views of human anatomy influenced by culture and religion. The 2006 study "Vaginal Douches and Other Feminine Hygiene Products: Women's Practices and Perceptions of Product Safety," published in Maternal and Child Health Journal, found 15 percent of Hispanic (there's that word again!) women douche, compared with 9.1 percent of gabachas. But the two groups don't come close to match the percentage of their negrita sisters who douche: 27.7 pinche percent. The same journal published another study in 2008, "Vaginal Douching Among Latina Immigrants," which tracked the same douching rates for mexicanas. Both cited the reasons I gave, while the U.S. Department of Health and Services opines most women who douche do it to try to eliminate vaginal odors and prevent pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Almost all the science shows that douching is about as healthy for a woman's panocha as Tapatío, so Gringa: por favor educate your Mexi hermanas about the risks. And, while you're at it, can you remind them to use protection during sex, especially the younger ones? We got pretty high pregnancy rates, too, tú sabes . . .

 
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uno
uno

for Mr. richard - tell him to go home to where he came from and take all of his amigos with him to europe - euro trash - if someone asks me what i am - mexican - vietnam vet - college educated - and speak 4 languages - i bet he is barely proficent in one language - vato - loco

richardshelbyfl
richardshelbyfl

These low class minorities feed on their own. That is why we European Whites have nothing to do with them. They are doing it for personal reasons, they don't reflect our needs. Our needs is that USA should be White People's Country.

Who cares about them, it is like a rodent eating on a rodent. Vote for the White People's Party, vote for the Tea Party.

Enviroherp
Enviroherp

Wrong, pendejo loco. If you want white, vete a Europa. Uh oh, you may find a large black population and an even larger brown population over there. I guess Alaska is the place for you.

Ex-pat
Ex-pat

I had the immigration talk with a Chicana coworker when I lived in Phoenix. She was getting the hate on for those dirty mojados who aren't fluent in English and are rural and don't know how to act, etc. She was supporting prop 200.

She was beautiful, a real Aztec princess in looks, and because her family had been in Arizona for a couple of generations it didn't occur to her that SHE had the same brown skin, same indio features, and would be hassled just the same as a mojado because she LOOKS mestiza, and this is about judging by the looks, que no?

So you nailed it, Gustavo. It is possible to be so assimilated that you forget, a little, who you are, or at least forget what White America understands you to be. And I would add that if only 19 percent really doesn't get it, that's not bad.

 

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