Giant Hamburgers Lead to Giant Heartbreak

Dear Giant Hamburgers,

I know it was only our first date, but I don't think we should see each other any more.

Surprised? I was. Maybe my expectations were too high. I mean, with a name like "Giant Hamburgers," what Fry Girl wouldn't be turned on?

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Giant Hamburgers

2753 E. Broadway Road
Mesa, AZ 85204-1579

Category: Restaurant > American

Region: Mesa

Details

Giant Hamburgers
2753 East Broadway Road, Mesa
480-733-6542
www.gianthamburgers.com

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Sadly, our affair was not meant to be. And I'm not the kind of gal who just disappears without giving a reason. So what happened? The worst thing that could in any relationship.

No passion.

Let's start with what matters most: you. Under your plain paper wrapping, was more . . . plain. No homemade yumminess, no standout ingredients, nothing that fueled the fry flames of true burger love. I got you with "the works," and let me tell you, they were anything but working. Your burger, your bun, and especially your nasty processed cheese tasted like you were being pimped out the back of a roach coach. And "giant"? No, you're just kinda tall — and only because of all the iceberg lettuce in you.

Is your passionless existence your fault alone? No. Let's look at your creators. My initial conversation with your dating coach went something like this:

"It's my first time at Giant Hamburgers. What's good here?"

(Gesturing to a giant menu board behind us) "Here's our menu."

"I get that. But what do people get here that's good?"

"It depends on what you like."

"That doesn't really help me."

(Handing me a paper menu) "Here's our menu."

I saw more personality in the TV that flashed photos of every single item on your menu. (Two pieces of bacon on a white plate, with the word "bacon" underneath? C'mon, Giant, that's the Sesame Street of advertising). I'm not coming back to your crummy pad, with its weird lighthouse photos. I need a burger whose place can make a lady feel at ease — not fluorescent lighting and lamps hanging so low it felt like an interrogation room.

The food, the people, the eating area — everything about you screamed autopilot.

I'd like to say we could still be friends, but we both know that's not going to happen. I'm sure there must be something to like about you, but when it comes to burgers, I need to feel the love, and at Giant Hamburgers, that possibility seems minuscule.

Sincerely, Fry Girl

 
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17 comments
Randy
Randy

To Laura aka Fry Girl: Its just a little amazing to me that you would pick on a restaurant that has been open for 11 years and for those 11 years has always had the highest ranking in quality of food and cleanliness, to say nothing of the friendliness of the good folks that work there. For a person that works at Petsmart to make yourself a food critic is redundant and I am surprised that Petsmart as a corporation doesn't fire you for making them look bad. You need to stay in your own backyard, date your one dog and your one cat, because apparently that's all you know how to handle. Restaurants are not your thing evidentally. You pick on plain white wrapping paper, it's clean, it's sanitary, what do you want christmas paper? Your not going to take it home and stuff it in your drawer are you? Then you talk of the works, the works would be anything that you want on your hamburger but you are one of those people that won't be satisfied no matter what anybody does. You talk about passion, for a person that can't walk into a restuarant and know what she wants to order and pick on the employees behind the counter for not telling you what you want to order, that's "passionless" and you're right, it's probably no fault of your own, I've seen your picture! And what's wrong with the people behind the counter asking you "it depends on what you like" unless you don't know how to read, apparently you do you just don't know how to write, you should have been able to figure that out faster than what a third grader could of. You pick on the paper menu anybody with an ounce of brains, which you need to grow one, would know that was for anyone that has not been there before and wanted to take their time reading it before they order and also to take it with them, which many companies have done and they hang it inside their lunch rooms so people can order take out. and who are you to talk about personality, but I guess you should know you have none and it shows in your writing. You talk of Sesame Street type of advertising, I guess you would know. I don't think you could make it on Sesame Street or open your own restaurant or have the same ratings that GiantHambugers has had over the last 11 years. You say you are not coming back, and I quote "to your crummy pad". I didn't think that you were the owner of this pad, how could it be yours? And there is only one lighthouse photo, what do you have against lighthouses anyway? You don't like those either? If you want to be treated like a lady, you have to act like one first. But I am sure the management at Giant Hamburgers since you are not happy with the lighting and it makes you feel its an interroation room to make you feel better I'm sure they would be more than happy to let you pay for new ones. You find odd things to pick on and really make no sense, lighting, light house photos when there is only one, interrogation rooms, are you telling your audience something about your past life or that you just want to make out with someone behind the counter that makes you feel loved. I am sure there is nothing that there is to like about you, you are unhappy about everything and you can't find quality about anything. The only thing that seems to be minuscule is the way that you write and the best people that you want to pick on. So please don't come back! The owner is a fine man, hard working, honest and is friendly and has taught his staff to be friendly and hard working and at least they have character instead of being a character. As my grandmother would always say, shame on you! I think everybody should boycott Petsmart for having them hire you and then putting them on the limb for embarrasing them by attacking them, your are a real piece of work. Very sincerely, Friends of Giant Hamburgers. 11 years and counting.

The Observer
The Observer

I guess they won't be running an ad in this year's 'Best Of Phoeinx' issue....

Zak
Zak

This is the most IGNORANT review I have ever read in my life. Giant Hamburgers is and has always been a great place to eat. I always look forward to eating at Giant's because not only is the food good, but they have such a FRIENDLY atsmosphere. I take my family there and recommend it to everyone. However, Giant Hamburgers is only for people who enjoy eating hamburgers, not dating them. Seems like Fry Girl needs a burger with a counselor.

Mike R
Mike R

First off Fry girl needs to take her pampered *** elsewhere!I am a regular customer of Giant Hamburgers & I utterly LOVE the service, atmosphere & the food!

I would write more, but it's almost lunch time!I'll take my usual burger, fries & a heavenly slice of pie @Giant Hamburgers please!

btw: Fry Girl I think I read some of your other ridiculous entries/reviews in a Sesame Street book!

Sincerely, Mike

jesus
jesus

I think "fry girl" is confused with personal problems,I go to giant hamburgers everyday because their food and excellent customer service.the place is alwayss clean,employees are very friendly.so if u read this "fry girl"u need to find somethin else to do since your bored! Don't take it out on the worlds best giant hamburgers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gus
gus

The place is in Mesa, so it is going to suck

Roger
Roger

I just wanted to share my comments in regards to the poor article you wrote up on Giant Hamburger's in Mesa Arizona. My wife, family, and friends have been personally going to this AWESOME breakfast, lunch, and dinner restaurant for the past 11 plus years. I have NEVER had a bad meal there whether it was breakfast, lunch, or dinner. The staff is the friendliest human beings that you will find and any mom and pop or even upscale restaurant. These employees go out of their way to make sure that you leave full and content. I am thinking that the writer of this story doesn't know what a good meal is for the value and service that you are getting from this place called Giant Hamburger's. Its negative comments of yours that hurts the last of the few mom and pop places out there. I suggest that you go back to your own employer of PetSmart and head right over to the dog food aisle and pop a can of dog food out and enjoy your meals from there. Also make sure when you’re done eating that PetSmart tells you to have a nice day like all the staff at Giant Hamburgers will tell you.

Rick
Rick

Giant hamburgers is a great place! I agree, Fry Girl should quit what she calls her writing job, the article was poorly written, and go back to wearing a burger hat and smelling like fryer grease at some corporate fast food joint. I will gladly continue to eat at Giant Burger.

andrew
andrew

I think Fry Girl is totally off base. Giant hamburger is one of the best places to grab a burger or breakfast in Mesa. It is a locally owned and operated business that is clean and well run. The owner himself is working behind the counter and thanks almost everyone as they leave. I have never had a bad meal at Giant hamburger. And for someone using a screen name of "Fry Girl", she didn’t even mention ordering the fries. They are awesome seasoned fries. But I can only think that all of Fry Girls relationships end badly. For me and my family our relationship with Giant hamburger will continue.

Eileen
Eileen

Fry girl obliviously does not have good taste. Giant Hamburger has great burgers. I have never heard anyone that has eaten there say anything negative and living here I know a lot of people that like it. In Arizona Giant Hamburger has ALWAYS gotten great revues.

Shauna
Shauna

Your writing needs improvement, not Giant Hamburgers. They have the best cheeseburgers I've ever had. Sure, its not flashy, so the prices are realistic. The beef has never been frozen and everything is fresh. Stick to your MacDonalds which I'm sure you think is "Mr. Right".

Kathy
Kathy

We have never been disappointed when eating at Giant Hamburgers. The food is great and the service friendly, the eating area is clean. My favorite is a cheeseburger and chocolate milk shake! Yummy!!

Laura
Laura

Wow, I don't think Fry Girl ate at the correct place. Not once have we been disappointed by their food. The servings are large, the hamburgers have such a wonderful flavor to them (would love to know their secret to that flavor), the pies are to die for. I have taken friends and family members there and not once have we been disappointed. The food and service have always been top notch.

Ben
Ben

Your eating a hamburger. Not on a date. Giant Hamburger is awesome! There are many many good reviews of this place. Don't listen to the fry loser. Fry loser what do you want a bumpin system with some disco lights? IT'S A HAMBURGER JOINT. Maybe you should visit the Melting Pot. What are you a 5 guys lover? Over priced crap in my opinion.

mark
mark

You went to Mesa? Why? You deserve what you got. There is nothing good in Mesa.

Jan Bennett
Jan Bennett

Fry Girl - there will be others out there....don't despair over one lost love.

Jon Came
Jon Came

Agree 1 zillion percent. All talk, no burger action.

 
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