Ask A Mexican: A Poem for Know-Nothings

Dear Readers: The Arizona pendejas have emboldened hundreds of Know-Nothings in the past week to boast to the Mexican that they're not racist if they support SB 1070 because, according to them, they believe in the law and they have no problems with immigrants as long as they're legal. Nosotros los buenos know that argument is almost always demonstrably false due to culture, know that Americans were bashing swarthy Sicilians even after the immigration officer at Ellis Island signed them through and shortened their name from Fabruzzo to Faber.

But I feel magnanimous this week. Maybe it's the pre-Fourth of July Herradura, before me, but I'll indulge the anti-racist protestations of Know-Nothings with a test. If — with apologies to Rudyard Kipling — if . . .

If you can keep your cabeza when all about you

Is banda and mariachi blaring near you;

If you can see six Mexi kids and their pregnant mom in front of you,

But make allowance for their tough times too;

If you can wait in the emergency room and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about a rooster in the backyard, not report to Animal Control those lies,

Or, being hated by Mexican soccer fans, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good in a sombrero, nor talk like Glenn Beck, who isn't too wise;

If you can dream of Ozzie and Harriet America — and not make sueños your master;

If you can think about cars parked on front lawns — and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with an Aztlanista and an Arizonan disaster

And treat those two babosos just the same:

If you can bear to hear the truth about Mexican assimilation others have spoken

Twisted no longer by pendejos to make a trap for fools,

Or watch our border, broken,

And stoop and build it up with humane tools;

If you can pool your lifetime winnings

And risk it on a business in a barrio where soccer balls get a toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never blame illegals about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nervios and sinew

To not sell your home long after your white neighbors are gone,

And so hold on when the only English speaker is you

Except for those pochos that say to usted: "Hold pinche on";

If you can talk with Mexican crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with ICE — nor lose the ability to allow a DREAM Act student's story to touch;

If neither George Lopez nor "Press One for English, Two for Spanish" can hurt you;

If truly bigoted relatives count with you, but none too much;

If your local pool gets disturbed every minute

With 60 Mexicans in jeans — and you don't make them run —

You're not a racist and truly about laws,

And — which is more — you're a chingón, cabrón!

 
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16 comments
Robr_roberts
Robr_roberts

I hope the reverse can be said about the writer of this article,

come on 2012 elections
come on 2012 elections

No Question about it, I am a racist then because I don't want your way's and culture or your language rammed down my throat. I don't want to be forced to listen to your blaring music no matter the genre, and if you want to raise livestock and such do it where it is zoned for such things, not in small lot residential areas. Yeah I'm Totally racist because I you have decided to invade my legal homeland, and I am definitely ready to defend whats mine. Please go home and apply to come here legally, ALL ILLEGALS

Lucy
Lucy

who says the white man is here legally?this was mexico and still is mexico.the white man has taken everything.is the white man a true american?hell no!

Robr_roberts
Robr_roberts

Oh ye of such little knowledge, check the facts before you speak

Lets_skate18
Lets_skate18

Well it's not mexico anymore!! Especially when one of the "mexican" leaders caved into signing a form that gave your land to america!!

P.S. I'm hispanic

THELAW
THELAW

really? that is the most ignorant thing Ive heard, you need a history lesson lucy.

Captain Obvious
Captain Obvious

White folks are only here legally because they make the laws.

American-American
American-American

No-matter how bad ya want it, you just don't get rewarded for breaking the law...get legal or go to jail and then get deported. Bye,bye...

Zippy
Zippy

So I'm a RACIST "know-nothing" for complaining when my neighbors have ROOSTERS????

OK, I'm a proud racist-know-nothing.

Me2
Me2

This is racist hate speech. Conviction by accusation is the norm among such people, as are the protestations that breaking the law isn't bad if you are of the 'right' race. Those crossing our southern border should face the same standards as those crossing the northern border. Equality, justice and dignity under the law should be values we all share.

Me
Me

Yeah, those who say "I'm not a racist, it's all about the law" are racists and liars. If your only concern about your neighbors is that they're "illegal," and you insist that you would gladly STFU if they were here legally, then take the direct route and LEGALIZE THEM, pendejos, and STFU, por favor! Problem solved.

But the real problem, for you, is that they don't look like you and they don't speak like you and they listen to ranchero and not Perry Como or whatever weakass noise passes for music in your world. I have news for you - the value of a human being is not measured by whether they look and behave just like you.

Anti-immigrant = racist and bigot. It's really just that simple.

Csimps28
Csimps28

i guess ill just be a racist liar then. cause i think you all need to go home and try to get help from your own goverment. its not our fault that your country sucks and ours does not. no reason to break the law o and by the way. i think its to the point where no one cares if you call us racist ( if thats what it takes to get you out of our country so be it) america doesnt care what a bunch of iggnerant mexicans have to say about us. we just want our economy and country back thats all. go home you have no right to be here. pull the race card all kyou want as you can see no one cares.

Come on 2012 elections
Come on 2012 elections

I guess a pendejos is supposed to be a slur to a Legally Born Citizen? I'm so hurt boo hoo, bye bye 29th is a coming quick!laraza = feces

Chinga2Essay
Chinga2Essay

A pendejo is YOU, curly.

When your daddy sired you, he was pretty much just peeing in the gene pool.

 
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