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Jack Swift 11/30/2010 6:45:00 PM
Graham, I'm sure New Times can get along without you. There are only so many print copies available -- please save them for smart people. And try to get it through your silly head that sports isn't very important, really. Jiving on the Suns and Steve Nash is just good clean fun. I would try to explain satire to you, but you're too dumb to understand the concept. Go away.
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11/15/2010 10:42:00 PM
A funny story? I read it and didn't laugh once. A cover story with supposed confirmation from Nash wasn't satire, ironic, or sarcastic in tone. Unfortunately, the paper has put a crimp in their credibility, which is a shame because when I want to read comprehensive coverage regarding controversial news items, I can no longer look at New Times to get some info. If they want to be the paper version of The Daily Show, then they need to commit to that and work within that premise. I will no longer read New Times because when I want to laugh at what I read, I will read The Arizona Republic.
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AGARTAW 11/10/2010 8:39:00 PM
REPLY to Billymadi ''This is some pretty funny stuff. But disguising it as real news is not the way to go. Does anyone think the Dialy Show is real...ever?''
A LOT OF PEOPLE THINKS FOX NEWS IS REAL...
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Billymadi 11/10/2010 3:51:00 PM
This is some pretty funny stuff. But disguising it as real news is not the way to go. Does anyone think the Dialy Show is real...ever?
Besides, a fake story about politics is always a lot funnier.
http://www.moderntimesmagazine.com/page17/page23/page23.php
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Ricky 11/09/2010 10:24:00 PM
I thought Steverio's "Native" land was South Africa. ergo, African-Canadian.
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Jmatacola 11/09/2010 9:27:00 PM
who cums up wid shit like this?
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Email 11/09/2010 5:17:00 PM
my favorite story was the guns for the homeless but this one was pretty darn close.
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Twistng Fish 11/09/2010 7:16:00 AM
if this story shocks anyone, you have never been fooled by one of the new times annual "haha" stories. congratulaions you made it this long. my favorite was the one about the giant tortoises that were stopping construction of the cardinals stadium ("super bowl V" Jan 16, 2003) and of course the most awesome chef ever ("xtreme cuisine" May 11 2006). the point is you have an undesireable sense of humor. funny thing is i laugh more at the reactions than at the stories, always.
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Msptprx22 11/09/2010 6:07:00 AM
Mr. Writer, congratulations. You are now officially a douche bag.
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ProfessorChaos 11/09/2010 4:37:00 AM
Funny how absolutely NO other media outlets have reported on this. Did somebody actually hack into this site and post a ridiculously fake story or does somebody actually need to be fired that works for this paper?
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psshh!!!!!!!!! 11/09/2010 3:39:00 AM
I can't beleive you went to collage just to end up writing lies what a waste of time and space. i mean seriously what talent do you think it takes to sit and fabricate such a story non 0 talent.. i read half way through it before i thought this is crap just like the man who would honestly write this and the editor of these magazine for allowing it to go to press.... booooo on the new times. lesson learned i will continue to use this magazine for what it is worth.. to keep in the bottom of my bird cage to catch the droppings..
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Peter 11/09/2010 12:41:00 AM
From the Suns website:
http://www.nba.com/suns/news/nash_101103.html
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GRAHAM 11/08/2010 10:11:00 PM
ONE QUESTION: WHY?
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T. 11/08/2010 9:17:00 PM
Before I knew it was a hoax, I just shrugged. After I knew it was a hoax, I thought it was funny.
That said, this is yet one more example of why the New Times is just another trash rag. Does anyone really expect anything else from a paper whose parent company produces that other well known trash rag called the Village Voice.
I do read the New Times from time to time, but only in the same way one might drink booze to get drunk. It ain't medicinal, it's entertainment. Anyone who takes ANY CONTENT the New Time produces seriously should really have their head examined.
Backpage and finding out what band is playing where is about the only thing the New Times is truly good for. And even that could be BS sometimes. Pfff.
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Rom8_3139 11/08/2010 8:25:00 PM
This is a lie!!! Why do you still post it! Steve Nash is not going anywhere!
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Guana9999 11/08/2010 7:43:00 PM
Mike Lacey is building a new house on the mountain and needs to sell ads. this is what this is all about. How can Jed keep putting up with all this bullshit??
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Anarc78 11/08/2010 4:17:00 PM
Do you really expect anything decent from this rag that centers every issue around the writing of a fool like Lemmons?
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Steve 11/08/2010 4:05:00 PM
Why is this continuing. This is a false story created by a 'non" newspaper.
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koolkinkajou 11/08/2010 8:04:00 AM
I understand the first law he will propose is to have Canada to secede from the United States. This might start a new civil war!
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Screwyou 11/08/2010 7:51:00 AM
John - you're an idiot. A real tried and true idiot
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Nolenimage 11/08/2010 4:11:00 AM
F you New Times. Running such trash just shows your lack of any real news to report or your 'publications' relevance.
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John 11/07/2010 10:11:00 PM
Sure, this is the only country that allows it's people to live as "freely" as we citizens do... well except for just about any other first world country. Open your eyes, this blind nationalism doesn't make you any more patriotic than I, just a little more ignorant.. remember Nazi Germany came to existence due to blind nationalism.
stupid.
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John 11/07/2010 10:04:00 PM
Haha.. the NT doesn't sell anything idiot, not to it's reader anyway.
It's called ad based revenue, and I'm sure they are making plenty of it.
The Chapter 7 statement is far less believable than this hoax story.. good try though.
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John 11/07/2010 9:58:00 PM
You people are seriously falling for this eh?
It's a hoax... perpetrated by the NT.
If you're too stupid to figure it out, well I feel bad for ya, you probably don't take anything with a grain of salt.
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Disappointed in the New Times 11/07/2010 4:39:00 PM
Unlike the story on Nash, your story WAS FUNNY! Good job!
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Disappointed in the New Times 11/07/2010 4:38:00 PM
@snunsnroses. No, I don't get angry because I was played. I quit reading the PNT because it is no longer a reliable news source. It is now "entertainment" like The Onion and Mad Magazine.
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Disappointed in the New Times 11/07/2010 4:33:00 PM
I agree. I have lost all respect for this rag for printing this lie.
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Disappointed in the New Times 11/07/2010 4:30:00 PM
So now the Phoenix New Times is reporting on rumors without confirming the stories. From where did the PNT did this story up? Was it from the blogs that also said the Mexican Cartels held two Texas ranches and their occupants as hostages a few months back? According to the Montreal Gazette, the race for mayor of Victoria isn't until 2012. I had respected the PNT for their take on the news . . . up until now. Now I will consider everything they print suspect anymore.
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Vickie 11/07/2010 7:03:00 AM
He pays more taxes in Arizona than you do, therefore his voice is more important. Seriously, Arizona could use more people with half a brain in their affairs. Its one of the most poorly educated states in the Union, and it shows.
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Colangelo 11/07/2010 5:48:00 AM
May I *PLEASE* bounce a basketball off of his head before he leaves town? Man, I hate those TV ads!
I swear, if any NBA star was in my house "giving the rock" to my wife and giving her googlie eyes while I was folding the laundry I'd get my Glock, cap his ass and tell the cop that it was breaking and entering. Oops, ol lady got in the line of fire... again.
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Jelennuie 11/07/2010 1:56:00 AM
GOOD NEWS! Maybe now he can go home and play in Canadian politics and keep his nose out of Arizona and its affairs. Then again, who will make those just too cute solar commercials now?
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BS 11/07/2010 1:09:00 AM
I like a good joke as much as anyone... But I won't believe nor take seriously anything this reporter much less this news media puts forward at anytime in the future... This lends no credibility to this news media!!! They are Mickey Mouse to begin with... Now they have a few more Disney characters to be matched to.
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Hedon't 11/06/2010 11:26:00 PM
Calm down. Steve Nash ain't Jesus, you know? And even if he were.... Funny stuff
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Tagament 11/06/2010 11:16:00 PM
New Times rocks! Not crazy about Barry Friedman's writing style, but I loved the cover (a takeoff on the great LeBron cover when he left Cleveland, and the Gorilla crying the maple leaf tear was good). But, Barry, look for younger metaphors. You reveal yourself as an old guy.
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Arturo 23 11/06/2010 11:12:00 PM
With the way Nash has been playing, I wish WERE true. Hey, it was a funny idea to do this, since -- if ever he were to retire for politics -- this would be the perfect time. The team is going nowhere this year. Glad he laughed this hoax off, tho. Made me like him and the Suns a lot more. He's getting old, but he's a class act. And so is the team. Loved their Los Suns campaign. Way to stand up to the rednecks, Mr. Sarver!! The Suns and New Times have a lot in common. They're both fighting for what's right inthis desert..
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J.T. Jahn 11/06/2010 11:05:00 PM
What a bunch of stupid fucks have posted on this site! They actually think New Times, which has been doing spoofs for almost 40 years, will go under because it did a spoof. Oooooo, your sports hero was the focus of this one, so it's really, really made you mad, right. What a bunch of humorless retards infest this town! No wonder Sheriff Joe and Governor Dimbulb keep getting elected. Loosen your spinchters, 'tards and learn to take a fucking joke.
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Richard Garrity 11/06/2010 10:59:00 PM
I disagree that New Times hasn't had a good hoax story since humidermy. I liked the Anna Nichole Smith one, where it was claimed that she had a Native -American love child. Also the Michael Jackson one. This one was pretty good. Believable, since Steve Nash is such a goody-two-shoes. But it's not my favorite. Yet I've got to say: why the outrage, folks? It's just satire. Funny, how sensitive people get when one of their sports heroes is focused upon. Guys, sports isn't that all-fired important. Get over it, it's a joke. Even Steve Nash and the Suns found it "humorous." They got it because they're cool. You fools who have gotten your panties in a bunch definitely are not.
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Robfur 11/06/2010 3:56:00 AM
Good retirement story. Like an obit, it can be saved for use later.
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Az Navet 11/06/2010 3:48:00 AM
i don't read that rag "Mr. or Ms. ANONYMOUS"
It was on the lead stories for Yahoo.
The only time I pick up that trash is if I need packing material for glassware or lining a birdcage.
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Ansoncap 11/06/2010 3:22:00 AM
Another poorly-done hoax story. You haven't had a good one since the "humidermy" or "Arm The Homeless" articles. Yawn.
2/10
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Funkdog 11/06/2010 3:20:00 AM
Okay, cool kid. Now back to your mat.
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Lightenup 11/06/2010 2:24:00 AM
Given the responses on here, I wouldn't expect you to actually know that people can't successfully sue for this type of article. HUMOR (key word, everyone!) is protected, especially when it's about someone as famous as Steve Nash. You all need to lighten up! It's a joke. Sorry a paper tried to make you laugh instead of depress you for once, and sorry you can't tell the difference between news and humor. Nash took it better than you, for crying out loud. If you hate the New Times so much, why don't YOU get a life and do something other than leave angry comments.
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Screwyou 11/06/2010 12:59:00 AM
This is the type of trash this "news"paper has to print to sell their product. Although I did see their Chapter 7 papers were filled at the County not long ago. But I guess Barry Fried-man will easily land a job at the National Enquirer
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Scd 11/05/2010 11:22:00 PM
If this story were for real, all the other news sites would have it. It's nowhere else to be found. What a joke NT is.
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gameday24 11/05/2010 9:42:00 PM
Wow .....and we thought Walt Disney was dead ... looks like he's been reincarnated...did you really think you had Spurs and Laker fans throwing High-Fives? As entertaining as this fairy tale is, by now fans have learned to wait until "the Fat Lady sings" (case in point: Wednesday's game) ... what is amazing is to think that you guys feel that your publication is so exclusively privileged that you could independently break a story of this magnitude (that's the REAL fairy tale!) .... nonetheless, the tale was humorously well written ....
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Lame 11/05/2010 9:20:00 PM
Clearly this is a hoax. My issue is not so much the fact that New Times does spoof stories, it's that this one is so friggin' lame! Such a stupid prank story. They've done really fun ones in the past, this is just dumb.
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moi 11/05/2010 6:08:00 PM
no, you just expect a "newspaper" to print the news, not some damn made up story - makes them unreliable.
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SunDevilRick 11/05/2010 5:14:00 PM
Bye Bye Roger, don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!
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Sundevilrick 11/05/2010 5:12:00 PM
The laughing stock that has won tons of awards
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Sundevilrick 11/05/2010 5:11:00 PM
I would argue it is Satire. This is holding up a fun house mirror to Arizona politics and the horrible state it is in. That is what there was a quote from Jerry Collangilo saying Steve should stay and run for us.
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Snobird 11/05/2010 4:17:00 PM
They had me for a minute there! These writers didn't do much research to vaguely capitalize, if that is where they got this spoofy idea from, on the resignation this week of, not Victoria, BC, but VANCOUVER Mayor Gordon Campbell.
If one wants to imagine Steve Nash as mayor of Victoria, then Victoria compares to metropolis Vancouver as Long Island would compare to metropolis NYC.
ps I'm sure if Canadians wanted a sports star as PM, they'd take Wayne.
Steve Nash did say he would'nt play for Canada again, so we should believe him.
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The Dictionary Says... 11/05/2010 3:56:00 PM
Definition of SATIRE 1: a literary work holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn; 2: trenchant wit, irony, or sarcasm used to expose and discredit vice or folly
As this article did neither, its a Hoax (to trick into believing or accepting as genuine something false and often preposterous)...not satire. Call it what it is.
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Alligator1 11/05/2010 2:11:00 PM
The New Times is a joke. VVM is a joke all the way around and this story is no different. Way to hold true to your colors.
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jabroni61 11/05/2010 2:09:00 PM
WAY TO GO STEVE WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK IN THE FUTURE GO CELTICS
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Azali10101 11/05/2010 1:24:00 PM
Run for office? Really? Here! We know the righteous always win office in every election don't they?
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Gr82beachbumit 11/05/2010 1:22:00 PM
Good for him. After what happened in Az this week I don't blame him one bit and Victoria is a gorgeous city!
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Paulkuneck 11/05/2010 1:05:00 PM
Are you also a former speller, Roger?
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sunsnroses 11/05/2010 11:22:00 AM
This has been going on for years now, so here's how this thing works, everyone. Barry Friedman writes a brilliant article. Everyone believes it. Then everyone finds out Friedman has totally played them....yet again. Upon finding out they are officially fools, they get insanely mad and write nasty letters to New Times. Yes, of course, all the reporters and editors will quit because you are angry. Yes, we all know this free paper is just not giving you your money's worth and furthermore,you just can't trust New Times for reliable information anymore like you can with what you normally read....Guns & Ammo? Hustler?. Calm yourselves, alarmed citizens of Phoenix. Steve Nash totally got this article and laughed about it on TV. See the irony there? The guy the article is about enjoyed it, but all of you are cranky. Not to worry. You'll eventually calm down and then Friedman will blow your world up all over again. It's the cycle of life, kids.
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ROGER REED 11/05/2010 10:55:00 AM
I'VE BEEN AN AVID READER OF YOUR MAGAZIINE FOR OVER 15 YAERS BUT I'WILL NEVER READ IT AGAIN. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN SMARTER THAN TO THINK THAT YOU WOULD HAVE ANY INTEGRETY ABOUT A SPORTS STORY. BUT I WAS DUPED BY MY OWN STUPIDITY.
FORMER READER,
ROGER REED
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11/05/2010 7:55:00 AM
Reliable sources indicate that the New Times has just been bought by Fox News, and that the current staff may only be retained upon taking the "Tea Party" pledge.
Most of the reporters, upon hearing the news, were surprisingly blase. One senior editor was heard to remark: "Hey we're more about shameless sensationalism than news anyway, might as well work the other side of the street for a while."
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Realamerican 11/05/2010 6:39:00 AM
Ok so you make shit up because you arent real reporters. You tell lies because you don't even know what the truth is. You attack America because it is the only country in the world that allows such things. You have no life, no purpose, and a tiny tiny little dick.
You guys are a bunch of losers. If you don't like this country then either grow a pair and run for office or head to mexico where you can hang out with the garbage you seem to love to defend.
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Arthursanchez50 11/05/2010 5:27:00 AM
Good bye, Suns.
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thresher 11/05/2010 4:52:00 AM
and still you read it AZ Navet. LOL
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anonymous 11/05/2010 2:48:00 AM
Then don't read it. It's so funny how people read the paper and then get mad when they get spoofed and say they don't like the paper but in reality they love it but won't admit it otherwise why are they reading it and posting comments? Haha
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Az Navet 11/05/2010 1:54:00 AM
Another Bullsh!t story from a "National Enquirer" wanna be fish wrap!
The New Times has only one true use ...... to line the bottom of a bird cage!
And the so called "reporters" that work for it are the bottom feeders of the journalistic world!
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anonymous 11/05/2010 1:26:00 AM
And Steve, they have broken many stories over the years that's why they are a 30 plus year publication and you are still reading it.
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anonymous 11/05/2010 1:23:00 AM
Then why do you read it and post comments dork?
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Paul Baboon 11/05/2010 12:04:00 AM
Pinal County Sheriff's Office Steve's fact- and mentally challenged. Especially on the deputy story. Just another dimwit in Sandland. Thought the hoax was funny, myself. Who really cares if Nash leaves. Goran Dragic should be starting, anyway. Nash is just in the kid's way.
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Steve 11/04/2010 11:54:00 PM
How could one person believe this story? Steve Nash quitting in the middle of a season - and you're first hearing about it in the New Times? LMAO. Yeah, that will be the day, when that joke of a publication breaks news like that. Whether it's their idiot definition of "satire" or whether they are trying to tell you a Sheriff's deputy who doesn't even support SB1070 volunteered to get short at close range in the upper torso with an AK-47 bullet, just days after the law was signed, and well before the boycotts and the controversy.... literally everything in the New Times is a joke.
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Chris 11/04/2010 11:54:00 PM
Being an AZ native, and a huge Suns fan, I've never once been as affected by such a loss. It's strange since Nash's tenure with the team is not terribly long. But, that's the type of impact he's had with this team! I remember when we had Jason Kidd, and I thought, "Wow, he's going to be hard to replace!" when we traded him. Who knew Steve would be there to more than fill the void!! He is amazing on and off the court. And for the record, I saw Steve at a nightclub a couple years back, and I'll give him 6'0" maaaaybe! But he played like a smooth giant. He will be missed more than he knows.
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Ross 11/04/2010 11:46:00 PM
Nice metaphor, but for the fact that US Airways does not fly any 747s.
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Tomato 11/04/2010 11:45:00 PM
Suck and swallow, Victory.
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Ryan 11/04/2010 11:29:00 PM
this is why NO ONE cares about the New Times. With the way the world is today you think people really have time to care about FAKE stories? You should be ashamed. No wonder you give away your publication, no one would ever buy it. Good luck staying in business after this.
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Victory 11/04/2010 10:57:00 PM
Steve Nash should sue the writer of this article for this crap. What a waste of a reporter you morons have over there. Get a clue and then get a life. Idiots!
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Tomato 11/04/2010 10:56:00 PM
victory's got his lips around arpaio's dick. swallow now, 'tard. then head over to russell pearce's house to service him.
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Victory 11/04/2010 10:54:00 PM
How pathetic are you morons over there at the New Times? Now you just make stuff up about local sports stars? What's a matter you didn't have any lies to print about Joe or any other local Republican political figure? No wonder you idiots are the laughing stock of local news sources.
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Arbuckle 11/04/2010 10:23:00 PM
Brady's the dumb ass. Nash didn't say it was false. He said he *will* someday run for prime minister of canada. Wonder if the Suns are lying?
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Tom Brady 11/04/2010 9:56:00 PM
Wow. Some dumbass writer has nothing else to do but create a hoax. Steve Nash already said this is false.
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Bmartin42071 11/04/2010 8:49:00 PM
I think this is a real article. New Times must be desperate to break news..declining ad revenues and questionable acquisition of Village Voice may clouding their judgement. There are only so many Joe Arpaio stories ( I think Arpiao is a joke)..without major reader burnout..so why not break a big story!
If this is meant as humor...it was too long and tedious and not funny.
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Jacob 11/04/2010 7:58:00 PM
Or if you're a moron and can't distinguish satire from reality.
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Jacob 11/04/2010 7:57:00 PM
Fuck off.
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11/04/2010 7:26:00 PM
Show us some. It ain't here.
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moi 11/04/2010 7:04:00 PM
So much for New Times being a valid news source - idiots!
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Aldo Renato50 11/04/2010 6:57:00 PM
Kevin Hunt at Channel 12 revealed this last night (Wednesday the 3rd) on the late news...as soon as I saw "by Barry Friedman" on the cover this morning I KNEW this was a hoax...couldn't New Times have come up with a fake name??!! Every story that Barry writes (I still remember the Galleria gold story) has "hoax" all over it!!!
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Rare Non-Idiot 11/04/2010 6:48:00 PM
You really find out how many idiots there are out there when New Times does a satire. MelonMan's a melon head. Have a sense of humor implanted, Goober!
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MelonMan 11/04/2010 6:32:00 PM
The Newtimes could never be the Onion.
You dumb bastards and your dumb articles.
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Flowersforjune 11/04/2010 6:29:00 PM
Geez, nobody appreciates good satire. Hilarious article.
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TZTREE 11/04/2010 5:42:00 PM
What's the point of this?? Why? It just takes away from your credibility (New Times, not this writer), which I typically defend vigorously due to the excellent investigative reporting you provide. However, this type of tripe only strengthens the position of those who say your facts are suspect at best and now it leads me to doubt my position. I get that its satire, but you're not supposed to be a satirical rag. If I want that I'll read The Onion. If your true intention is to be a respected news outlet donβt print this garbage.
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Blaise 11/04/2010 5:25:00 PM
This is false, you need to check you facts before posting things like this. Last times I read this site. Way to stop the hearts of the Phoenix Suns fans.
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Jonathan Swift 11/04/2010 5:24:00 PM
Satire isn't satire if you can't tell its satire.
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Nunya 11/04/2010 5:17:00 PM
This is why when I see the New Times at a newstand, I grab every copy and throw it in the garbage where it belongs. Eff off Barry go write a fictional book you piece of shit
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11/04/2010 3:38:00 PM
Good for him. And once he is there, as mayor, we can send all the illegal border crossers directly to his sanctuary city and he can feed them, support them, and give them free socialized medicine. After all, he was the mouthpiece for Los Suns speaking out for the freeloading undocumented fans. Atta boy, Los Stefano. No deje que la puerta le pegΓ³ en el culo en el camino de salida. (Don't let the door hit you in the a$$ on the way out)
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SunDevilRick 11/04/2010 3:34:00 PM
Marshmallows have edges.
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SunDevilRick 11/04/2010 3:32:00 PM
Oh relax. It was satire
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Marc 11/04/2010 2:28:00 PM
Thanks for wasting my time on a pointless hoax article. This will be the last time I read the New Times.
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Gurn Blanston 11/04/2010 2:24:00 PM
Dammit, now I'll never get motivated to put those solar panels up on my roof.
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Tranquilo 11/04/2010 1:41:00 PM
Wow, what a loss for basketball, for Arizona. Congrats, Canada.
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Kim Dominick 11/04/2010 9:53:00 AM
Yes, Lawton, I see Canadian TV stations every day. I live in Canada!
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Nathanwiggs 11/04/2010 9:41:00 AM
Thank you steve for putting up with the bull shit that robert sarver fed to you with the excuses and the lack of any knowledge to the sport and the uprising stars you deserve a ring and I have hope forever to see you achieve that glory.. thank you for the years of excitement and the times we will never forget as suns fans you truly are the MVP and no one will forget it
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Really?? 11/04/2010 3:58:00 AM
Kevin Garnett says that Barry Friedman writes like a "Cancer Patient"......... Rude